Page 45 of A Vow of Embers

“Do not bring geese into this,” I said. My mind understood that he was agreeing with me, that I might have misread his earlier actions as an attempt to lure me into a fight and he was now trying to smooth things over, but I was still primed to argue.

His mouth twitched, as if he wanted to laugh, and it surprised me. But then his face was dark and mocking again. “We need to go to bed. Your things are in a trunk behind the screen.”

I felt a little off kilter—I was ready to fight with him, and he’d redirected what was happening. I supposed it was good that I now had something else to focus on. I hurried over to the trunk he’d mentioned and opened it. My satchel was there with all my things, along with the wedding gifts he’d sent over. There were also several other tunics, including one that looked like it was meant for sleeping. Io had told me she would have everything sent to the palace, but I had thought she’d meant in a day or two.

Had she brought everything over herself? Was that when she had told the prince to be nice to me and not yell? I shook my head. Theano never would have allowed that. Not to mention that he and I hadn’t been apart since the ceremony had begun, so he couldn’t have talked to Io even if she had been the one to deliver all this. When had she told him?

My curiosity would have to remain unsatisfied because I wasn’t going to ask him about it.

The room grew steadily darker as he continued to extinguish torches and candles. I reached into my pocket and took out the stone the old woman had given me, placing it on top of my pot of Locrian soil. Then I tried to reach behind me to remove the girdle.

And came across so many tiny knots that I didn’t know how I was going to undo them. I tried to twist the girdle around so that the knots would be over my stomach, figuring that would make things easier.

But it was too tight and wouldn’t budge. I let out a sigh of exasperation. How was I going to get undressed?

“I thought I was supposed to have a lady’s maid,” I called out.

“Not tonight. You’re not expected to need clothing.”

His words made my skin flush everywhere. If there wasn’t a maid coming to help me undress and I couldn’t get at these knots, what was I going to do?

I thought about Zalira and Ahyana telling me that my husband was supposed to undo each knot lovingly and patiently to show his devotion to me.

“Why are you taking so long?” he asked. “They’re watching the gap at the bottom of the door to see when the lights go out.”

Who were “they”? The people still singing those terrible songs?

“I ...” I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t want his help. But I either told him what was happening or I was sure he’d bring his mostly naked body over here to investigate. “I can’t undress.”

He came up behind me but I didn’t turn. I said, “They laced up the girdle with tiny knots and I can’t reach them.”

I hated the idea of him standing behind me and undoing each one but I wasn’t going to have a choice.

It turned out that I needn’t have worried. Because a second later I heard a blade cutting through the lacing and the girdle fell to the floor. The sight of it lying there ... it was too much.

I started to cry.

“I’ll buy you another,” he said impatiently. As if my tears were foolish.

“That’s not—” But I couldn’t finish when my sob prevented me from speaking.

“I’ve never seen you cry.” There was a strange tone in his voice, one I didn’t recognize. He hadn’t seen me break down like this because I tried so hard to keep myself from doing so. He stepped closer to me and I could feel the heat of him. If I leaned back even slightly, I would have been pressed against him. He stood there without speaking. Waiting. What was he doing?

But then he made a sound at the back of his throat and walked away, leaving me alone.

I wasn’t crying about the girdle, but about everything else. I had lost my adelphia. Quynh was a kitchen servant. I was no closer to finding the eye than I had been a month ago.

And I had been blackmailed into marrying a man who would slice through a bridal garment instead of giving it the respect and care he was supposed to.

After a few moments I was able to compose myself. I wiped away my tears. If I didn’t hurry, he would come over here again and demand I go faster. I took off my wedding dress and contemplated burning it. I couldn’t imagine wearing it again. Instead I threw it into the trunk, along with my sandals, the crown I had been wearing, and the black pearl necklace. I slid on the nightgown and tied a string around the middle to keep it in place.

I came out from behind the curtain just in time to see the prince slicing across the neck of a chicken over our bed, which made me gasp in horror. “What are you doing? Why are you killing a chicken?”

“Rooster.”

How did that make a difference?

Then he said, “It’s an old trick used by hetaerae when they want to convince a man that ...” His voice trailed off as if he suddenly remembered who he was speaking to. “They say a rooster’s blood most closely matches a virgin’s blood, and the people will expect you to have bled.”