Page 228 of A Vow of Embers

All I could do was try and be there for her.

She started to cry and I got up and went to her bed. I sat next to her and hugged her tightly.

“You’re right,” I said. “They didn’t deserve this. And the people responsible will pay. But we will do it in the right way.”

I would make sure of it.

And I would keep Io’s hands clean.

When I returned to my own bed, I was plagued by one nightmare after another. Standing in Lycia, in the temple, everyone around me dead. I had to relive it over and over, unable to stop.

Hours later Zalira woke everyone up and I was grateful for the reprieve. We quietly used the washroom and went out to help Suri.

I was going to make sure that she had the chance to sleep.

But when we got to the grave site, we found her sitting by the side of a massive hole. Big enough to fit in every priestess and acolyte who had died. Mounds of dirt were piled up on the opposite edge.

“How did you do this?” Ahyana voiced the question all of us had.

She must have used magic. But how? She didn’t speak.

I remembered Maia saying the goddess knew the intent of our hearts.

Maia.

Loss unfurled inside me and I had to put a hand over my chest. I was going to miss her so much.

And I would never see her again.

Suri was sweaty, dirt smeared all over her. She pointed to one of the bodies, and instead of questioning her further, we got to our task. We figured out that we should use sheets to lower them down one at a time so that we didn’t have to drop them in.

“Go to bed,” I said to Suri. “You’ve done so much. We can do the rest. You need to sleep.”

No.

It took us hours, but we got the task done. We stopped to eat and get water. Io made sure that Suri drank and ate something. It was twilight when we finished covering the grave.

Io said an Ilionian prayer for the dead, asking the goddess to receive their souls. I expected her to cry, but it felt as if she were now past tears.

We would have to return to the palace. I would tell Xander what had happened and how Lysimache and Artemisia had been involved. And then I would have to question Lysimache and force her to give me the truth so that we could be prepared for the darkness that was coming.

“Should we go back to the palace?” Zalira asked.

None of us could’ve stayed here, even if we had wanted to. This had become a place for the dead, not the living.

“I need a minute,” I said. There was something I had to do before we left. “I’ll meet you at the front gate.”

I returned to the lower room of the temple to sit with the goddess’s statue. I no longer felt her here as I once had. I could still pray, but like always, I wasn’t sure what to say.

“If you’re listening, I don’t know why you allowed them to do this. Why would you let Artemisia kill everyone here? These women served you. Honored you. Worshipped you. They deserved your protection. They should have lived.”

There was no answer. Instead it felt like I was standing inside a mausoleum, surrounded by silence and death.

And I was so tired of death.

“I don’t want to be the savior. I’m not strong enough to face whatever this is,” I said, my voice cracking. “This is too much. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be a sacrifice to appease you. I’m too young.”

Whatever tears Io didn’t shed, it was like she had given them to me. They trickled down my cheeks. There were things I wanted. A future that I’d envisioned for myself. I didn’t want my life to be cut short.