Page 139 of A Vow of Embers

“Was it your selflessness that put Io’s life in danger?”

I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or scream. “For the thousandth time, I didn’t put Io in danger! I am not going to keep having this same argument with you! We are going in circles! I protected her!”

“She wouldn’t have needed your protection if you hadn’t been there! And you have driven a wedge between my sister and me. Even now she tells me nothing out of misplaced loyalty to you, an enemy who would happily watch our nation burn!”

I wanted to pull my hair out at the roots. Part of me wondered if he’d feel it. “This is ridiculous and I’m not discussing Io with you any longer. And it is so ironic that you would call me selfish. I suppose I could have taken lessons from you and spent weeks lying to someone and tricking them, seducing them, just to force them to marry me.”

Anger rolled off him in waves. “If I wanted to seduce you into marrying me, I could have done it the night of the festival. Because trust me, you were more than willing, and it would have been very, very easy. Even now it would take so little effort on my part to have you trembling and begging me to touch you.”

I had never wanted to hit someone so badly in my entire life.

“I did the honorable thing. I let you go,” he reminded me. “An action that doesn’t line up with your lie about my master plan to trick you into marriage. I didn’t know who you were. Not until Io told me.”

That was a lie. A dirty, filthy lie. Dolion had told me the truth! Why wouldn’t Xander just be honest? I would not stand here and let him keep lying to me like this. I was sick to death of it. Did he think me such a simpleton that I would believe him? Blind rage took over my body and I took out my xiphos and lunged for him.

It was foolish and I realized it the moment I had done it. I would never get close to him. He grabbed me by both wrists and whirled me up against the wall. I immediately lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist, intending to use my weight to pull us both to the ground, but he was too quick. He used his chest to push me into the wall, not allowing me to move.

“What did I tell you? You have to commit. Act without hesitation.” He released my right arm, the one with which I held my sword. “If you want to stab me, go ahead and do it.”

Chapter Forty-Five

I brought my blade up to his throat. He still bore the mark from the last time I had done this.

Xander waited without moving, keeping me against the wall. I felt trapped by his steady, hot gaze. This was deliberate. He wanted to prove that, despite my threats and blustering, I wouldn’t actually slice his throat.

Because hurting him would only mean hurting myself.

Choice made, I let my sword drop to the ground. Now that I wasn’t going to stab him, I thought he would release me. Instead he caught my wrist and put it back against the wall so that I was pinned in place.

Why was he still holding me? He didn’t have a right to do this.

“I am so tired of your games and your lies, you bastard,” I shouted as I struggled against him, trying to wrench myself free. “Do you know how much happier I would be if you were dead?”

He tightened his grip around my wrists, his hips pushing into me. “That mouth of yours has better uses, wife.”

His lips descended angrily to mine and I was immediately lost. Earlier he had kissed me out of jealousy, as I had with him. But now he kissed me to punish me. To silence me.

But I did not feel chastised. I felt ignited, like a blazing torch being thrown into a large pile of dry grass.

His tongue invaded my mouth, meant to pillage, to dominate, to conquer. He expected me to resist but I let him in. I threw open thegates to welcome his invasion. He had no need to lay siege when I so happily greeted his advance and gave him my instant and immediate surrender. I didn’t even try to mount a defense because I couldn’t decide if the molten heat I felt was rage or arousal.

He tore his mouth away and licked a stripe up the side of my neck. I moaned and arched against him, wanting more. “Have your needs been frustrated, my little princess?” He growled the words into my skin, his nose nudging my jaw. “Is that why you act out the way that you do?”

I didn’t understand what he meant. I was upset he had stopped kissing me. He moved up to my earlobe and licked it before tugging it with his teeth, his breath hot in my ear, and I shuddered against him.

“You don’t even know what you need, do you?”

No, I didn’t. I wanted to reach for him but he still held my wrists against the wall. All I could do was press my hips forward, push my chest against his.

It had the desired effect. A few small movements from me and I was rewarded with his mouth slanting against mine, harsh, needy, desperate. I mindlessly met every stroke of his tongue, every motion of his mouth. He finally released my wrists and I wanted to shout with joy. Now I could touch him. Feel his heated skin under my fingertips. Run my fingers roughly across his scalp and hear the sound he made deep in his chest. I dug my nails into the back of his neck, feeling the burning scratches appearing on my own body in the corresponding spot.

He explored me, as well. Because of our position he couldn’t do much, but his hands were in my hair, on my neck, cupping my breasts, stroking my waist, gripping my buttocks tightly.

Xander stopped the kiss again and I wanted to lash out at him, demand that he finish what he had started.

“If I were dead, who would kiss you like this?” he demanded in a rough voice. “Who would make you feel this way?”

My eyes felt too heavy, my breaths short and fast. Even now, when I was so completely under his thrall, I still wanted to defy him. “There would be another.”