Page 205 of A Vow of Embers

“Impossible,” he said. “I haven’t done or said anything I didn’t mean. Untie me so that I can prove it to you.”

Fire lanced through my lungs at his words, making it difficult to breathe. I wanted so badly to believe him. To let all of this be the truth.

No matter what it might mean for my future.

“If I asked you to take a sleeping draught, would you do it?”

Confusion marred his features, but he said, “I told you. I will do anything you ask. If you need me to sleep now, I will, and then I’ll wake up tomorrow fresh and finish what we started.”

No, he wouldn’t. I remembered the regret and embarrassment I’d had our last morning after. I opened the vial and brought it up to his lips. He nodded and then I poured it into his mouth.

He looked at me with his unbearably beautiful eyes and I watched as his eyelids fluttered shut and his head lolled to one side. I touched his full lips with my fingers and then allowed myself one final kiss because I knew it would be the last time.

I checked the ropes on his wrists to make sure they weren’t too tight. I intended to leave him tied up in case he woke up early again and the honeyed wine hadn’t yet worn off.

Then I went over to a chair and curled myself up in it. I wouldn’t risk sleeping next to him because I didn’t trust either one of us. I would stay up and keep watch because I’d just rendered him unable to protect himself. I owed him that.

Things were going to change in the morning. I would tell him that I had to have my own room. He and I could no longer share a bed. I needed some distance—tonight had repeatedly proven that I couldn’t remember myself or what truly mattered when he said beautiful things to me. Or kissed me. I had no shield strong enough, nor could I build a wall high enough to keep him out.

I knew he would protest. Not because he wanted me by his side, as he’d said, but because us sharing a room was an important part of his ruse to win the council’s vote. I would tell him that he had earned enough favor at the last vote to ensure that he would be selected.

He most likely wouldn’t agree but I had to find a way to convince him.

One that didn’t involve kissing.

Tonight had to be the last time that something like this ever happened between us.

I was on the lowest deck of theNikos, standing at the ready in the cell the Ilionians had put Quynh and me in.

The door of the cell was open. The three pirates had their swords drawn and were advancing on us. I knew I couldn’t fight all three at the same time and that they would defeat me. I was frantic, trying to find a way to protect Quynh and to live long enough to survive the race in Troas.

This time Xander didn’t come to save us.

And I was quickly overwhelmed. I got in a few good hits before they grabbed at me, forcing me to the floor. One of them went into the cell and picked up Quynh. She screamed my name as he headed for the stairs, begging for me to help her. I struggled with all my might, trying to get to her, but I wasn’t strong enough.

I couldn’t keep her safe.

“Lia!”

There was a loud noise, as if the two ships had crashed into each other, and that sound woke me up.

I was breathing so fast I was afraid I was going to faint. My chest heaved while I tried to calm down.

It had only been a nightmare.

A nightmare I’d had because I was in this chair, and not in my husband’s arms.

I turned toward the bed and he was gone. He had managed to rip the torch brackets out of the stone wall. The proof of his strength made my breath stop altogether. I heard the sound of running water and realized he was in the washroom.

How had I fallen asleep? My lips were tingling and my tongue darted out to taste something strange. When I’d kissed Xander, it seemed like some of the sleeping draught had gotten on my own mouth.

Which was why I had slept through him tearing out the brackets.

Heat rose up into my cheeks. What had he done after he’d freed himself? What had he thought about me being in this chair and not in bed with him?

Was he embarrassed? If not, I was enough for the both of us.

I had let him undress me. See nearly all of me. The places that he had put his mouth and his hands ...