Page 127 of A Vow of Embers

I hadn’t told any of them about Chryseis. It was humiliating. It shouldn’t have been—I had my vows, and he had his contractualpromises to Theano. Nothing could happen between us. But I was so sick with jealousy that I hated closing my eyes because every time I did, I saw them together. I couldn’t stop replaying it in my mind.

Parthenia came to help me get ready and my sisters left, as they had decided to take dinner in their room. I was disappointed that they wouldn’t be attending with me but I didn’t blame them for wanting to avoid the party. Io was determined to figure out the scroll from the treasury and had been devoting too much time to it. I’d told her I thought it was better to spend it on research but it was like she had become obsessed.

My maid finished with my hair and left. I sat on a chair waiting for my husband to appear. I hated that this was my life. That I had become like a doll that was put up on a shelf until he wanted to play with me. Always waiting. I wanted to be doing things.

There was a knock on my door and it surprised me. Xander never knocked. I went over and opened it and Dolion stood there holding some yellow daisies. I was surprised and happy to see him.

“May I come in?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said. I half expected the guards to stop him, but apparently he had permission to be there, as he entered without issue. I closed the door behind him and he handed me the flowers.

“These are for you.”

“Thank you. They’re beautiful.” I took them and breathed in their scent.

“They pale in comparison to you,” he said with a wistful tone and then looked embarrassed. “I probably shouldn’t have said that.”

I smiled at him. “It’s been a long time since someone paid me a compliment, so thank you.”

“That’s a shame. If you were my wife, I’d never let you forget.” He said this in an offhand way, as he took in the decorations and furniture in our room. The room had been much barer when Xander lived here alone.

The last time Dolion had been in my room was when I had been attacked. I didn’t want to remember any part of that night. I placed his flowers in an empty vase on the table. I would add water later.

I was about to ask him why he’d come when he said, “I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by. I wanted to check on you. It can’t be easy to be locked away in your room.”

“No, it’s not.” I sat down in a chair and offered him the other one. He took it and leaned toward me.

“How are things going with you and Xander?” he asked, and I had to bite back a short bark of laughter.

“We don’t speak.” Although I was sure Xander’s phratry brother already knew all about that.

“I’m sorry. That must be difficult. Is there anything I can do for you?” He sounded so sincere.

“Get me out of my room.”

He laughed at my half-hearted jest and I smiled back at him. He looked over his shoulder at the balcony and pointed at it with his thumb. “That must help alleviate some of your boredom. Being able to see everything that’s happening.”

There was a tight pain in my chest. “Sometimes I see too much.”

“Such as?”

The words leapt from my mouth. “Like Xander kissing Chryseis.”

“Oh.” Emotions battled across his face, like he couldn’t decide how to feel. I saw loyalty to his phratry brother, but concern for me as well. “I’m sorry. But there has been something between them for a long ...”

His voice trailed off at my expression.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” he corrected himself, looking deeply apologetic. “My brothers are always reminding me to think about what I’m going to say instead of just blurting it out.”

I nodded. “Why does he even keep me here?” None of this made any sense. If he wanted Chryseis, why not just marry her? It would certainly clear his way to the throne. Her father would vote for him,as would Themis and Heliodora if he would let girls get educated. It seemed an easy solution to his problems.

I had become unnecessary to his plans.

“Why is he keeping you in your room? He’s been telling people that you aren’t feeling well and that he thinks you might be with child and so he is being cautious with your health.” Dolion’s words blazed through me. I wasn’t angry that the prince was lying—I was angry that he would make a mockery of something that was special to me.

Something I was never going to have.

I gripped the edges of the chair. “I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten Chryseis with child.”