Page 217 of A Vow of Embers

“I don’t know if I can make a life mage use the eye. Now I’m questioning whether or not they even could. It may fall to me, and I have to be able to use the magic. To find the right aspect to fix Locris. Which means I have to remain worthy by abstaining from ‘pleasures of the flesh,’ as that life mage apprentice said, and keep my vows to wield it.”

The goddess could take my life after Locris had been restored. And if that was to be my fate, then Ahyana was wrong.

It would still be one for many.

“Loving your husband is not breaking your vows,” Ahyana said, understanding what I had been referring to. “Those vows are not real. That apprentice did not know what he was talking about. And I think we’re going to find proof of that.”

I felt guilty that I wondered whether she had said that for my benefit or her own.

“I think we already have proof,” Io said. “And I have to believe that even if you did break your vow that the goddess would not forsake you. Now it’s more important than ever that you break the link with my brother.”

Because she thought I was destined to die and she didn’t want him to go with me. I couldn’t blame her for that. I didn’t want him to die, either.

“I understand that you’re angry with me,” I said. “You have every right to be. I wish I had told you all earlier. I will understand if you want to return to the temple when we get back to Troas.” It was what I deserved. I had pushed them away out of fear, distrust, and paranoia and I should be alone for not treating them as I should have.

Zalira reached out to put her hand on mine. “We are not going anywhere without you. We belong together. We will see this through with you until the end. Whatever happens, you will not go through it alone.”

“We won’t let you,” Ahyana agreed.

Now I was the one sobbing. My chest heaved and my eyes burned. My throat ached with all the emotion I felt. They scooted until they could hug me and it reminded me so much of my first night with them. When I had wept over the loss of Quynh and they had comforted me.

I had been such a fool.

When I finally stopped crying, Suri handed me a cloth to blow my nose and wipe off my face.

“What does the eye look like?” Io asked.

“I’ve only seen it in my dreams, but it’s a large green gem. Something like an emerald.”

Zalira straightened. “I’ve seen that.”

For a moment I couldn’t process her words. My pulse throbbed so hard in my wrists that I thought they might explode. “What?”

“The one week when I was selected as a Chosen, I served Theano. She carries a green gem in her pouch on her waist.”

My mouth dropped, and it felt like a giant, unseen hand was squeezing my heart tightly. “As big as your fist?”

“Maybe a bit smaller than that. But definitely a large green gem.”

If I had only told them from the beginning. The first night. Zalira could have told me then. I could have cut the pouch from Theano’s waist and made a run for the docks before anyone would have caught me. I had wasted so much time because I had been so distrusting.

Suri hadn’t gone near Theano after we’d broken into the vault, which was the first time I’d told her about the eye. If she’d only gotten close enough to the high priestess ...

My story might have turned out so differently.

“We have to go get it from her,” I said.

“You want to walk into the temple and steal the eye of the goddess from the high priestess?” Io said in a tone that suggested I was bordering on blasphemy.

“You don’t know how Locris is suffering. I will do whatever I have to do to help them. Including taking the eye from Theano.”

Zalira sighed. “I suppose this is what we’re doing now. Let’s try to come up with a plan.”

We began to strategize as the phratry returned. They told us that they had made the decision not to stop on the way back. They would rest and water the horses as needed, but given that we were dealing with an unknown enemy, it wasn’t safe to be out here.

I heartily agreed.

My adelphia talked for hours and then nodded off one by one until only Io and I were left awake.