Page 145 of A Vow of Embers

He ran from room to room, calling for her. Servants passed by, smiling down at him as they carried on with their tasks. I could see he was beloved by everyone who walked past him. He turned a corner and I hurried to keep up with him.

I nearly smacked into him, as he’d come to a sudden stop.

“Mother?”

A woman lay on the floor, her dark hair pooled out around her head. She had a knife in her hand and blood gushed from her throat. My heart stopped and I clamped a hand over my mouth.

She had taken her own life.

And Xander was the one who had found her body.

“Mother?”

I tried to grab for young Xander, to stop him from seeing this. To get him out of the room. I couldn’t even imagine what this would do to him.

He knelt next to her, shaking her, repeatedly calling her name, the desperation in his voice climbing each time he said it, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“She’s gone,” I said, but he didn’t hear me.

It was one of the most horrifying things I had ever witnessed, and I didn’t know what to do. I closed my eyes, wanting this to be over. To get out of this memory.

When I opened them again, the child was gone and the man I knew was on his knees next to his mother’s lifeless body, his head hanging.

Io had never mentioned this. I wondered if she even knew. Or if this was a burden that Xander had carried in silence in order to protect his beloved sister.

“I should have saved her.” His voice was so broken.

“You were a little boy. There wasn’t anything you could have done.”

He nodded slightly. “I couldn’t save her. I won’t let this happen again.”

I wanted to comfort him. It was easy to put aside all that I held against him because I could see how much he was hurting. I went over to him, not sure what to do.

He leaned his head against my stomach and I held him there, stroking his hair. I could feel him shaking slightly as his arms went around my waist. This must have been excruciating for him. It explained why he was so overprotective.

“It’s my fault,” he mumbled against me.

“This was not your fault,” I told him in the most decisive tone I had. “You can’t fight fate or control what happens to any of us. And you should not blame yourself for what your mother did.”

He looked up at me, with so much anguish in those golden eyes. “I can’t go through this again. I can’t bear this kind of pain. I will not lose someone else.”

My pulse began to race. Who was he so worried about losing?

And why did it feel like it was directed at me?

“Water.”

My heart was still beating hard in my chest as I woke up next to Xander in our bed.

He had to repeat his request, his voice raspy. “Water.”

I got up and ran over to the water pitcher and poured him a glass. I brought it back to him and put it to his lips. He didn’t need my assistance and drank it on his own. I climbed back into bed and watched as he gulped down the entire thing.

“Do you want more?” I asked.

“No.” He set the cup on the table next to his side of the bed. I wondered if he remembered the dream. I didn’t know how the serum worked or what kind of effect it might have on him.

A tense silence surrounded us, feeling as if it would crush me. I lay down on my side, intending to try and sleep again and allow him to do the same.