Page 148 of A Vow of Embers

I considered his words and then told him, “I’m sorry that I snuck out and people followed us back to the palace and then you were shot.” If I had caused that to happen, I should take ownership of my mistakes.

“It was my choice,” he said.

Because of how quickly he could move, it had been a decision. He could have stayed put and let me take the dart. In that moment he had opted to protect me.

As Io had predicted he would.

“People are going to try to kill you no matter what we do,” he said and then yawned, stretching his entire body. I told myself not to look at the way his muscles lengthened and moved.

I wanted to ask him why people wanted me dead so badly, but he’d already told me: Having a wife gave him an edge with the council, so killing me took away that advantage. While Xander’s assassination would raise questions, mine would not. I was Locrian. An enemy. Anyone could have wanted me dead.

No one would care if I was gone.

His eyes blinked slowly and he looked very tired.

“I should let you sleep,” I said.

He rubbed his eyes. “I had thought you’d have more questions.”

I had a thousand more questions. Despite his reassurance that he’d offered and would answer, it still felt wrong. I would be livid with him if our positions were swapped. I would have never forgiven him for making me confess things while I was drugged. I knew that I should keep quiet.

There was one thing nagging at the back of my brain that I had to know for certain, and I felt ridiculous that it mattered, but if hehadto tell me the truth ...

“Did you bed Chryseis?”

“I already told you that I didn’t.” His annoyance was evident as he mumbled the words.

“Why did you kiss her?”

“She kissed me.”

Technically true, but I wasn’t going to let him skirt the issue. “You let her kiss you.”

“Yes,” he sighed.

It was refreshing that he couldn’t deny it. “Why?”

“There were many reasons.” The words sounded strangled, as if it were difficult for him to say them.

Or it had been hard for him to hold back what his true answer was.

He turned onto his back and his breathing started to slow, turning calm and even. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Would I be able to stop you?” I said as I mirrored his movements and lay on my back.

“No.” He exhaled the word. “My secret is ... that I don’t want to hate you.”

My heart did a funny twist because that was also one of my secrets.

A few moments later he spoke again. “Thank you for not letting me die.”

I turned my head toward him, staring at his profile. “It would have made Io too sad.”

He smiled at my jest, a real smile, and my heart fluttered again. I had missed him smiling at me. A few moments later he was softly snoring.

If I was being at all honest with myself, his death would have made me sad, too.

When I awoke the next morning, I was alone. I thought of all that had happened the previous night. The wild way I had behaved with him—that was what stuck out in my mind. I seemed to have no self-controlwhere he was concerned. How could I do the things that I’d done when he had kissed another woman? I didn’t know how I could shore up my defenses, but I would have to find a way soon.