Page 188 of A Vow of Embers

I couldn’t even imagine. I could barely manage the one husband I had now.

“It’s why I challenged Xander for the throne. Some part of me thought that if I could be named as heir, my father might want to be with my mother again. It was foolish of me. I do try to visit her as often as I can. Her sadness is unimaginable. She is perpetually pining for a man who never loved her, never chose her. And now he never will.”

“That ...” What could I say? “Are you angry?”

“With Xander? No. It’s not his fault. I would never blame him. Or his mother. Or my father, for that matter. He loved who he loved.”

Mahtab had loved the king of Ilion so much that she had left what was presumably a good life to open a hetaera house in a strange land.

I never wanted someone to have that kind of control over me.

Zalira was in the next room, using sleep to escape the pain love was causing her. I had felt nothing but disappointment and betrayal when it came to romantic relationships.

Then I thought of Ahyana. “Who knows about this?”

“My mother. And my phratry brothers.”

“Have you told Ahyana?”

“No.”

“She is planning a future with you,” I told him. She needed to know this.

“As she should. I love her and I want that future with her. I haven’t told her because ...” He exhaled loudly. “I’m afraid it will change how she feels about me. Ahyana doesn’t have the same magic as the women in my family do. If we have a son, she will have to stand by and watch as he is put through horrible pain over and over again. Who would choose that?”

Would this change her feelings? I wondered how I would feel if I were in her position and couldn’t imagine it.

“I have loved Ahyana for a long time,” he said. “There is something so special about her. I met her as a raven because her soul sang to mine in a way no other had. I was drawn to her. Her spirit, her cheeriness, her kindness. I watched over and protected her as best as I could.”

That made me think of all that Kunguru had done for us. The way he had helped Ahyana and Zalira, literally bringing them money and food. Warning us at the temple ... “You came into the temple. Men cannot go onto the temple grounds.”

“No, I was a bird. It is difficult to explain, but when I am in my raven form, I am more bird than man.”

Kunguru had always seemed so intelligent to me. Now I knew why.

“Speaking of the temple, there is something I must confess to you,” he said.

“What?”

“I stole your book.”

It took me a second to understand what he was saying to me. To remember that I had put the book from the administration building under my pillow and had asked Kunguru to watch over it for me. “Why?”

“I knew the rules of the temple and I was worried that the book might get Ahyana in trouble.”

“Did Xander tell you to take it?” I held my breath after I asked. Xander had sworn to me on his life that he hadn’t stolen it.

Even more meaningful, I swear it on your life.

“No. It took me a bit to carry it out of the temple grounds, and then I shape-shifted back beyond the fence in order to bring it to the palace. I will return it to you.”

It had been so important to me once—I had wanted to prove that priestesses used to be married to my adelphia, but now they believed me. I could take it to Maia, though. It would be the proof she had asked for.

“I wish I hadn’t taken it,” he said. “It was the night the temple was attacked. If I had been there, I could have warned you. Warned Ahyana.”

“She was hurt that night.”

“I know.” He sounded miserable.