Page 59 of When Ben Loved Jace (He Loved Him #2)

I’m pulling on my shoes and getting ready to leave when I finally realize why Eric’s house has such a different vibe. “Where’s the art?”

“Huh?” Tim glances up from where he’s rubbing Chinchilla’s belly. “Oh. I took it all down for safekeeping. Ryan and I got into a nasty argument, and he slashed up a canvas. Nothing valuable, thankfully, but I wasn’t about to risk the others. They’re all out back in the shed now. Do you wanna see?”

I have an afternoon shift at the hospital and need to return home beforehand to get changed and check on Samson. But I am curious. “Is your art out there too?”

“Yup!”

“Okay.”

I follow him outside to a large shed in a corner of the yard where Tim begins messing with a combination lock.

“I’m glad you said something. The trees out here provide shade, but the shed isn’t climate-controlled. Still, between Ryan’s temper and his seedy friends, I figured it was the safest option.”

He opens the door for me and steps aside. I step into a rectangular space that only has a narrow aisle down the middle. The rest is filled with paintings. Most of the canvases are covered by cloths, Tim lifting a corner to peek.

He whistles. “Jesus! Some of these belong in a museum. Selling this one would set most people up for life. I’m gonna look into donating a few to museums, but only if they do those little plaques next to each that say ‘on display courtesy of such-and-such.’”

I simply stare in return.

His brow furrows up. “You never get out to the museums?”

“I know what you mean. I’m just surprised that you’d give away something that’s so valuable. Exactly how rich are you?”

Tim shrugs. “Depends how the market is doing on any given day. Do you uh… want one?”

“Of the paintings?” I splutter. The idea makes me dizzy until I imagine having to explain to Jace where the sudden windfall of cash came from. “Um… No. That’s okay. We’re doing fine.”

I return my attention to the interior of the shed.

The stacks and leaning rows of paintings at the far end are exposed to the elements.

I recognize the artist and am drawn toward them.

Some are familiar to me. Many are new. One in particular catches my eye, since it rests on an easel, despite being completed, its placement ensuring that it can be comfortably viewed.

Eric is surrounded by rainbow reflections, the subtle smile conveying his generous warmth.

The painting is so compelling that I feel like I’m basking in his comforting presence again.

My throat constricts with the loss of such a kind man.

“Marcello told me,” I force out. “All the things you went through for him…”

“Worth it,” Tim says, his voice hoarse. “Every damn second. I wouldn’t take back any of it.”

“Wait,” I say as realization hits me. “Did you paint that when he was still alive?”

“Uh-huh.” Tim looks over at me. “I told him, Benjamin. Because of you. When he found out that I could paint…” He smiles and shakes his head.

“Eric was like a kid in a candy store. He rented a truck so we could move all my paintings here from my parents’ house.

Eric told them they’d all been sold. You should have seen their faces.

He wanted a painting of mine in each room.

And he commissioned plenty more. We had so much fun. That was such a gift because—”

Tim’s chin begins to tremble. I brush my hand against his, wanting to comfort him.

He responds immediately, wrapping his arms around me with a sob.

I hug him back. We stand there swaying, swept up in too many emotions to speak, both of us haunted by the past. He’s the first to pull back, turning his head away as he does so, but not to hide the tears in shame.

Those he doesn’t wipe away. The closeness between us is too risky. He understands that like I do.

I take a step back. “You should hang your paintings up again,” I suggest. “All of them.”

Tim thinks about it and nods. “Yeah. Wanna help me?”

“I’ve gotta get to work,” I say. “And back to my own life.”

“What about…” He leaves the rest of the question unspoken.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “Jace comes home tonight. I need to talk to him.”

Tim nods, expression glum. “So this might be it?”

“No,” I say, fighting down a smile. “It can’t be. We left my car in a library parking lot. You’ re my ride.”

He laughs. I do too, the relief between us palpable. Then we make our way outside again, back into the sunlight, where it finally feels like we belong.

— — —

Jace is sitting on the couch, watching me pace back and forth. I recap the events of the previous night, able to put much more emphasis on them in person than I could over the phone. He can tell that something is wrong. We know each other too well.

I finally reach the part I’ve been dreading.

“There was only one way that Ryan would believe me,” I say. “So after I took Tim’s hand… I kissed him.”

Jace’s eyes widen. I force myself to press on.

“And it wasn’t just a little smooch. I made sure it looked real. Because it was. And yeah, he kissed me back. I know how horrible that sounds, but it’s what finally turned the tide. Ryan literally fell to his knees and—”

“Why couldn’t it have been a performance?” Jace interrupts.

“What?”

“You’re an actor, Ben. Why did it have to be real?”

“Because I can’t feel any other way about him,” I admit.

“Great,” Jace says coldly. “Skip the play-by-play. You spent the night at Tim’s house. Did anything else happen?”

“No!” I kneel on the couch and take his hands in mine. “Absolutely not. The kiss was a means to an end. Tim understands that. And now it’s over.”

“So you don’t plan on seeing him again?”

I hesitate. “I’d like to be his friend.”

Jace pulls away and shakes his head in exasperation. “You’re too much sometimes. You know that?”

“I do, but if you put yourself in my shoes. Pretend it was Victor instead of—”

“No! You don’t get to play that card. Not this time, because I wouldn’t have kissed Victor. Even if he did have some psychotic boyfriend I wanted to chase off. Tim needed to make that happen on his own. You did the work for him!”

“Last night you said you were proud of me!”

“There’s a big difference in giving Tim an easy out with a white lie versus convincing him to leave with a goddamn kiss!”

The point hits hard. I took matters into my own hands and crossed a line. Similar to if Tim thought my relationship with Jace was unhealthy and did something crazy… like leaving a note on our door to break us up. Jesus! We really are two of a kind.

“I made a mistake,” I admit. “You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry.”

Jace’s sigh is heavy with frustration. “You’ve put me in a difficult position.

I don’t want to be the kind of person who dictates who you can and can’t see.

That’s gross. I also don’t want you to stop seeing Tim for the sole reason of it being what I want.

That wouldn’t be much better.” He shakes his head.

“I guess this is another chance to prove yourself. I’d like to think, after being together for so many years, that you won’t be lured away again so easily.

And that he’s no longer the kind of person who would try. ”

“I won’t let anything happen between us,” I reply with a guilty wince. “I swear.”

Jace rolls his eyes. “Why do I love you?”

“I honestly don’t know. It’s a mystery for the ages.”

His forehead creases in thought. “You know what? I think it’s only fair that I be allowed to kiss someone too.”

“You mean me?”

“ Outside of our marriage.”

“Oh. How about Greg? You could make me watch, so I really learn my lesson.”

“He’s my sister’s husband now. And my brother-in-law. So no.”

My shoulders slump.

A mischievous smile plays about Jace’s lips. “I suppose the closest equivalent would be Adrien.”

“What? No!”

“He would love the chance to make Caleb jealous,” Jace says venomously. “And it would help heal the wounds I inflicted by cheating on him. It’s the noble thing to do.”

“Fine.” I flop back on the couch and cross my arms. “You can kiss him.”

Jace laughs, climbing over my body to position himself above me. “Or maybe I’ll make you work it off.”

“I like that plan much better!” I say eagerly, pulling him close. “I really am sorry.”

“I believe you.” Vulnerability appears on Jace’s face. “Just don’t break my heart, Ben. ”

“I won’t,” I promise him. “Not this time.”

— — —

Tim is my friend now. Everything is wonderful.

But it isn’t easy. I often include Jace when Tim and I hang out.

Not only to remind myself of my priorities, but also to reassure my husband, because I don’t want any of this to take a toll on our relationship.

He might have the patience of a saint, but he’s still human, which becomes apparent when Tim invites us to visit a local art museum.

Jace insists on bringing Adrien, who is shamelessly bitter about the single date he went on with Tim.

He delights in bragging about his boyfriend while taking cheap shots.

“Funny how some of us get firmer with age while others become flabby. I remembered being impressed by your muscles, but compared to a man like Caleb, you’re little more than a twig. He could easily break you in half.”