Page 55 of When Ben Loved Jace (He Loved Him #2)

“For all I knew,” I reply, “you might have tried killing yourself, if you’d been so heartbroken over losing me.

That’s what separation is about though. You give up any personal responsibility for the other person’s well-being, no matter how difficult that might be.

I figured at the very least that you would continue living a lie.

I didn’t like the idea. I worried about that later and doubted myself all the time, wondering if I should have stayed and helped you learn to fly, as I used to think of it. ”

“You still remember the poem I wrote?”

“Of course. Loving you was never the hard part. Loving myself is what took real courage. You deserve to be happy, Tim. And from what I’ve seen, no matter how good your intentions, Ryan isn’t happy even when he’s with you.

Send him to rehab one last time, if you can afford it, but break up with him before you do.

Maybe, when he doesn’t have you to fall back on, he’ll finally get his act together.

If not… At least you’ll be able to live a better life without him dragging you down.

” I poke Tim in the stomach flab. “Where’s the hot guy who stole my heart?

Stop smoking. Go for a run. Break out the paints and work through everything you’ve been going through since Eric died.

Make some beautiful art, because you’re still a beautiful person. ”

He searches my eyes. “You really think so?”

“I know so. Don’t let me down.”

Tim doesn’t have to ask for a hug this time.

I give it to him, but not out of pity. I love him.

I always will. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some spoiled brat drive him off a cliff.

That’ll only happen over my dead body. Which considering how unhinged Ryan seems to be, is a very real possibility.

— — —

Before I began taking theater gigs, I used to wonder if actors got tired of saying the same lines and if musicians grew weary of singing the same songs.

I can only speak for myself, but the few plays I’ve been in are similar to a relationship.

The early days are a heady mixture of discovery and excitement, but after enough exposure, this eventually gives way to comfortable familiarity.

That’s the phase I’ve reached with the current play.

Which is why Jace has finally been invited to see it.

I’ve learned from my mistakes. Debuts are for strangers.

Mid-run is for my man. I’m in top form tonight.

Even the acting portion is going well, since I’ve been able to gradually tweak the role to better suit my strengths and limitations.

I bend over and kiss the hand of my co-star, affecting the tones of an Edwardian gentleman. “We each made a commitment, my dear, to not let our hearts wander. If we had spoken those vows to each other instead, well then, we wouldn’t find ourselves in the pickle that we do now.”

“Ha!” a voice from the audience barks. “That’s rich coming from someone who can’t keep his dick in his pants! ”

I glance toward the tables, my worst fears confirmed when I see Ryan in the front row. His face is twisted up, the shadows making him appear sinister.

My co-star is the first to recover from the interruption. “Discretion makes a good many things possible,” she trills, “especially in matters of the heart. Neither one of us wants to see anyone get hurt. We’ll protect them with our secrecy.”

“Yeah, well the secret is out.” Ryan snarls. “I want everyone to know what a slut you are!”

I glance at the audience again. Jace—bless his heart—has already moved to intervene.

The nice thing about being with a tall guy is that they make nice barriers.

I’ve hidden behind him more than once when navigating a crowd.

His back is currently to the stage, Ryan blocked from view, like I have my own personal bouncer.

“Secrets are a double-sided blade,” I say, returning my attention to my co-star. “Someone is bound to get cut eventually.”

“No, I won’t be quiet,” I hear Ryan screech. “You should be just as pissed off as I am. He’s a cheater!”

I’ve never been heckled before. Who does that at dinner theater? People are probably going to think it’s part of the show. Actually, that’s not a bad idea.

I smirk at my co-star. “You know how everyone has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other?”

“Y-Yes,” she says, improvising with me. “Why do you ask?”

“Because sometimes I could swear I hear them shouting at me, and frankly, neither one seems to be on my side.”

The audience laughs.

My co-star smiles, connecting my detour to the next line in the script. “Well, darling, that’s love for you!”

I burst into song. Good luck being heard over that, Ryan! The advantage is mine. I captivate the audience like I always do, my co-star stealing her share of the attention. There isn’t any left for the little psychopath, and hopefully by the end of the song, Brian will have kicked—

Something cold and wet splatters across my face and down my costume.

Judging from the taste of coffee on my lips, it was a tiramisu sundae.

I can guess who threw it. Commotion has broken out in the front row.

I’m frightened for Jace. What if he gets stabbed or something crazy?

The stupid ice cream is getting into my eyes, but I can’t stop singing.

I’ve never understood “the show must go on” like I do now.

Every instinct in me is screaming to let it all drop to check on Jace.

Nothing else matters more than him. I’m about to give in when I see my husband walk past the front of the stage.

He’s behind Ryan, who is ringed in by three other guys.

I recognize a couple of the crew members.

They’re escorting him out. Ryan notices me looking and flips me off, holding the gesture up nice and high for everyone to see as he goes. Charming!

I try my best to purge the whole mess from my thoughts during the rest of the show, which gets a lot easier once Jace returns to his seat.

He gives me a reassuring nod. I put the surge of emotion I feel for him into my performance.

By the end of the play, I’m confident that we managed to draw the audience back into the story.

The applause certainly doesn’t sound muted.

“I’m so sorry!” Brian says when meeting me in the wings. “I’m going to hire security guards.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” I grumble. “None of this is your fault.”

“And it isn’t yours either. I want everyone here to feel safe—cast, crew, and audience.”

“So what happened to Ryan?”

“He tried making a scene in the lobby, but your husband handled it wonderfully. He barely blinked! I don’t know how he stayed so calm. I was fuming!”

“I’m sure he’s dealt with airline passengers who were worse,” I say, trying to fight down a smile, but it’s impossible to resist when I see him approaching us.

Brian thanks Jace profusely before departing to soothe the frazzled nerves of the others.

“I like the new look,” my husband says, giving me a once-over before he swoops in for a kiss. “Mmm… And you taste so good!”

“I’m sticky!” I say, pushing him away while laughing. “I’m glad you were here, but why’d he have to make his move on the first night you came to see this play?”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. People love when things go wrong. Don’t be surprised if ticket sales go up. ”

“I’ll make sure to send Ryan flowers if they do.”

“I had a nice talk with him,” Jace informs me. “Although I was surprised to learn that you’ve been cheating on me.”

“Busted. There’s no sense in disputing the truth, especially when it comes from such a reliable source.” I drop the jovial tone. “We need to be careful around him. Ryan is into hard drugs. There’s no telling what he might do. Brian wants to hire security guards.”

“Good.” Jace nods in approval. “I’ll worry less. But this isn’t our battle. If you try to fight on Tim’s behalf, it’ll only convince Ryan that his actions are justified.”

“You’re right.”

I sigh and pull out my phone to send my ex-boyfriend a text.

We need to talk.