Page 12 of When Ben Loved Jace (He Loved Him #2)

Almost two weeks pass before I get to see Jace again.

We stay in touch during the interim, talking on the phone and sharing little details of what we did each day.

On one occasion, we even got off together.

And while this keeps the river flowing, it also feels like treading water.

I’m glad we’re together again, so we can see where the tide takes us.

I don’t have classes today. Jace picked me up at home, although we didn’t manage to leave for another hour, both of us too horny to wait.

I’ve got him for the whole weekend. I plan on taking advantage of every opportunity.

He took me out for lunch, which was nice.

And we stopped by the clinic to have our blood drawn.

Now we’re at a history museum. He’s surprisingly knowledgeable on a wide range of subjects.

Although some are so universal that they don’t require an explanation.

Such as the muscular marble bust I’m staring at now. The raised chest and round shoulders transport me right back to senior year of high school. I must stare a little too long because Jace circles around it, studying me instead of the sculpture.

“Someone you know?” he asks.

I press my lips together and nod. Obviously the bust isn’t of Tim. But it might as well be.

“I keep trying to figure out if there were two people,” Jace says, holding up an index finger on each hand before bringing them together, “or one.”

“Just one.”

“An artist and an athlete?”

I nod again before slumping. “It was a deadly combination. I didn’t stand a chance.” I shake my head as if to clear it. “Now if you’d been around back when I was in high school…”

“I wish I was,” he says. “How about a recap on what I missed?”

He keeps asking, and I did promise. As we continue exploring the museum, I do my best to sum up nine of the most intense months of my life, not skimping on any of the details, no matter how embarrassing.

The obsessive behavior that bordered on stalking, the party at Tim’s house that I crashed, all the secret moments we spent together, the girl he took to prom, me singing an angry anthem to him at the talent show…

I share all of this while being mindful of Jace’s feelings, but he seems to take it in stride, his expression sympathetic for my plight.

By the time I’ve finished, we’re on a different floor, my legs sore from walking so much.

“After I left his house that night, I never saw him again.”

“Hmm…” Jace responds.

“Really?” I furrow my brow in disbelief. “I’ve just shared my teenage trauma with you, and all you can say is hmm ?”

He smiles, already knowing me well enough to tell when I’m being facetious. “I definitely feel for you. And for him.”

“For him ?” Now I’m not kidding. “He literally threw me out with the garbage!”

Jace nods at a bench that faces tall windows, snow drifting down outside. I sit angled toward him, eager for his explanation.

“Being in the closet isn’t easy,” he says. “Keep in mind that it drove me to attempt suicide. And I have loving parents. They supported me in everything and were always there emotionally. Tim wasn’t so lucky.”

“No. I suppose you’re right.” I sniff. “Welp! I guess I’ve been wrong this whole time. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go get back together with him.”

I start to stand.

Jace grabs my wrist and pulls me back down.

“On the other hand, him choosing Krista over you was unacceptable. Even if just to appease his mother’s prom night expectations.

You were dedicated to each other at that point.

He knew that you loved him, and he did it anyway. I know how much that can hurt.”

“You do?”

He nods with a grimace.

“Wait, was Victor a cheater?”

Jace sighs. “He would tell you that he was all things while also being nothing. No limits. That was his motto. He didn’t like labels or believe in titles.

He let me call him my boyfriend, but Victor wasn’t the kind of person who liked being boxed in.

I was aware of that from the beginning. We weren’t in a committed relationship, so no, he didn’t cheat.

But much like Tim, he knew how much I loved him.

He could always see right through me, so he must have realized—” Jace hesitates.

“Sorry, I’ve already let this subject dominate far too many of our conversations. ”

“I love learning about you,” I assure him. “Don’t hold back!”

He searches my eyes before nodding. “There was this girl, Star, who had known Victor for years. She was a lot of things to him. His ex, his friend, his lover… He never kept her a secret. Victor was always open about everything. He introduced us and told me their history. I tried not to like her, but that was impossible, because it was such a relief to have someone I could compare notes with. Just because Victor was open, doesn’t mean that he was easy to understand.

He was always different around her though.

Star lived in the city. Sometimes he’d go to stay with her, which struck me as odd, because you couldn’t get any farther away from nature.

I think the alternative culture there appealed to him.

So he’d go on these benders of modern life, as I came to think of them, which to me seemed like the antithesis of who he was.

We were deep into our relationship, toward the very end, when he disappeared for two weeks.

I searched everywhere. The trailer, the lean-to in the woods, his mother’s house, the freight container… I couldn’t find him.”

Jace’s troubled gaze moves to the weather outside.

“Summer was steadily approaching, so I didn’t worry about him freezing to death.

But he might have gotten injured somewhere out in the woods or so lost he couldn’t find his way back.

Anyway, half a month later, he shows up at my front door with a T-shirt he’d bought as a gift for me.

It turns out Victor had been on a tour of different countries with Star the whole time. ”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah. My wild boy in the woods, who couldn’t even sleep in a trailer with the door shut, had a fucking passport and used it to go jet-setting across the ocean. And then he came back with a stupid souvenir probably made by child labor in a shitty factory when…”

Jace takes a deep breath and exhales again. I’ve never seen him lose his cool before. I don’t think I’ve even heard him cuss until now.

“This was the guy who had whittled a lion out of fallen wood so he’d have something to give me for Christmas.

I couldn’t imagine him buying anything. I’m sure it was her money, but still.

He used to call me a dandy.” Jace glances over self-consciously.

“His uh… nickname for me was dandy lion actually, because, well, you saw my hair. ”

“Aww! That’s so cute! And I had no idea that he was such a bastard.”

“Neither did I, which is why I cut my hair after he came back. Greg buzzed it off for me.”

“So that’s how things ended between you and Victor?”

“It was the final straw. I had offers from a few different colleges, who were awaiting my response. I chose one that would take me far away from him. From the sound of things, you know the feeling.”

“Yeah.”

Jace sighs. “In retrospect, considering how everything played out, I’m glad he got to see more of the world.

Although I still don’t understand how he ever justified such a trip in his own mind.

Victor would probably chalk it up to his ‘no limits’ philosophy.

He was infuriating. And I loved him for it. ”

I don’t feel jealous. It helps to have someone like that in my own past. Hell, I was parked outside of Tim’s house not long ago, but that doesn’t mean I want him back.

“Do you ever wish you could see him again?” I ask.

Jace is quiet for a long time before he answers. “I’m in no rush.” He loops an arm around my waist and pulls me close, my butt sliding along the bench. “Especially now.”

“Me neither.” I rest my head on his shoulder as we sit there watching snowflakes loop lazily on the wind before flying off to places we cannot follow.

— — —

I’m starting to see why Jace’s career gets in the way of his romantic relationships.

The more my feelings develop for him, the more I want to see him, which is natural.

Except that he’s often on the other side of the country.

Occasionally he’ll touch down again, but never long enough to visit me, so I decide to go to him.

The only catch is that returning to my hometown comes with the obligation to see my parents.

Oh sure, I could simply not tell them that I was in the area, but I can already imagine the hurt on my mother’s face if we pulled up to the same stoplight.

Or how wounded my father would be if I accidentally let it slip somehow.

Jace is a good sport when I explain all of this to him.

“I’m just happy I get to see you,” he says over the phone.

So we take one more step toward a serious relationship, because I never introduced the guys I date to my parents.

Not since high school. Jace does great, of course.

He shows up with a bouquet of flowers for my mom and a bottle of booze for my dad.

They aren’t alone either. Karen had stopped by their house earlier and decided to stick around out of curiosity.

I love my older sister, but she’s always had an acidic tongue that hasn’t mellowed with age.

I didn’t have a chance to warn Jace about her.

He’s completely unprepared when, after introductions are made, she sizes us up.

“You’re too tall,” she says to Jace matter-of-factly, “and Ben has always been too short. You look ridiculous together. Like you belong in a freak show.”

Jace smiles pleasantly, and without a trace of animosity, responds with, “That’s all right. It’s always good to have another source of income to fall back on.”