Page 35 of When Ben Loved Jace (He Loved Him #2)

“Hey!” Tim says in shock, stepping forward while opening his arms before seeming to second-guess himself.

Me? I don’t care anymore. I need the comfort too much.

I step forward, pressing myself against his body.

When I feel his arms close around me, it all comes out.

I cry. It’s messy, undignified, and embarrassing.

But at least he’s there for me. The guy who hurt me so many times before, without ever meaning to.

Now he can make up for it and catch me as I fall.

“Do you want to come inside?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I say, pulling back to wipe at my eyes.

Chinchilla is oblivious to the drama that played out on the front stoop, dancing around my shins until I squat to pet her. She licks the salt from my cheeks, and I’m happy to see it go, because I don’t like crying in front of other people. Does anyone?

“Where’s Eric?” I ask when Tim leads me to a silent living room.

“He’s on a cruise this week. Hey, I was thinking of ordering a pizza. We could kick back a few beers while we wait, and you can tell me what happened. Does that sound good?”

“Yeah,” I say eagerly. With all the stress I’ve been through lately, the bowl of cereal I had earlier didn’t sustain me for long.

“Cool. Be right back.”

Tim disappears in the direction of the kitchen.

I sit on the floor so I can rub Chinchilla’s belly.

It’s hard to stay down with a dog around, although I do feel a pang of sorrow when thinking of Samson, because I’ll probably never see him again, unless Jace and I become friends somehow.

Or I take him back. I’m not sure about either possibility. I haven’t had time to process it all.

Tim returns with a couple of bottles. This time I don’t try to pace myself when drinking.

What have I got to lose? At his prompting, I tell the story for the second time that day, but it feels different.

I’m not trying to sort through what might have happened and who could have been involved.

I know now, so I lay it all out from start to finish, for my own benefit as much as Tim’s.

He seems to ache for me and even blames himself at one point.

“It’s my fault,” he says with a swallow. “If I hadn’t pulled that stunt at Marcello’s birthday party…”

“Maybe it’s for the best that you did,” I say, wanting to absolve him of guilt. “Now that I know what kind of man Jace really is. He’s a liar. And a cheater.”

Tim presses his lips together. After another moment of hesitation, he says, “Everyone makes mistakes.”

“Do you think I should get back together with him?”

“Wait… What?”

We hadn’t gotten to that part of the story yet. The doorbell rings.

“Hold that thought!” Tim says.

His expression is difficult to read as he rushes from the room. Chinchilla races after him. I’m not sure which one of them looks more thrilled upon their return.

“This is going to be so good!” Tim says with a toothy grin as he returns with the pizza.

“Yeah,” I say, barely resisting the urge to sigh. “It is.”

Maybe it’s the two beers I’ve already finished.

Or the slow realization that we can be together again.

Either way, I’m feeling sentimental. This might be a new beginning for us.

A phoenix always rises up from the ashes.

Yeah, that fire is still burning at the moment, and it’s painful as hell, but when the flames are finally quenched…

“Could I get another beer?”

“Coming right up!”

I decide to change topics once he returns and ask about Eric’s cruise.

‘It’s not really his thing,” Tim confides. “Marcello drags him along every year. The cruise is gay-themed, so of course everyone spends most of the time wearing next to nothing.”

“And that’s a problem?”

“It is for Eric, but only because he’s a little repressed.

Or as he calls it, old fashioned. He actually thinks it’s sexier to meet someone in their clothes.

‘It’s more alluring that way, Tim.’ Me? I think it’s better to see what you’re getting upfront.

You can always ask them to get dressed if you want a striptease. ”

I laugh. “Have you been on one of those cruises?”

“Hell no! I’ve seen videos. Most of the guys on the boat are ripped. It wouldn’t be good for my self-esteem. Why do you think I like skinny guys so much?” He looks me over, waggling his eyebrows in a way that is playful rather than amorous.

“I hope Eric has fun anyway,” I say after laughing. “Maybe he’ll meet someone special.”

“That’s what Marcello always promises him. Which is weird, because I swear he has a thing for Eric.”

I shrug. “I guess if you love someone enough, you want them to be happy, even at your own expense.”

Tim’s smile slowly fades. “Yeah. I guess so. Uh… Speaking of which, you dropped a bombshell earlier.”

“Oh. Right.”

“So who broke up with who?”

“Jace suggested that we take a break.”

Tim is clearly conflicted by this news. “So you might get back together with him?”

“I don’t know.”

We eat in awkward silence until Tim tosses a crust to Chinchilla. “You know what this night needs?”

“What?”

“Karaoke!”

I beam at the suggestion. “For real?”

“Yup! Eric throws epic parties. You’ll have to come to one. Anyway, he’s got a machine that he breaks out sometimes, and frankly, it’s torture on the ears. I’m including my own efforts in that, so prepare yourself.”

He’s not kidding. Before long, we’re taking turns belting out tunes, and Tim’s voice is horrible .

I’d almost forgotten having heard it back in high school when we jammed with Ebony and Ivory, the band Allison and I joined because she was dating the bass player.

Tim is nearly tone deaf, but it doesn’t seem to discourage him in the slightest, even when I choose songs that I know will be difficult for him, just to amuse myself.

I can’t stop laughing. I’m kind of wasted.

We also sing some duets, which is fun. And more than a little endearing.

By the time we run out of steam, it’s getting late. We go out back so Chinchilla can potty.

I’m struck again by how tranquil the nights are out here, away from all the hustle and bustle. Secluded. I stand closer to Tim than necessary as we stare up at the stars.

“The circumstances suck,” he says, breaking a comfortable silence, “but I’m glad I got to see you again.”

“Yeah.” My heart swells. “Me too.”

“Do you wanna stay the night? I mean, we’re both too drunk to drive.”

I smile. “Okay.”

After we go back inside, Tim locks up and turns off lights. I follow him upstairs to a bedroom that is surprisingly minimal. Nicely decorated, yes, but lacking in personal touches.

Tim moves to the door. “If you need anything, I’ll be down the hall.”

“Oh!” I say, looking around. “This isn’t…”

“What?”

“Nothing!” I turn around so he can’t see my cheeks burning. This is a guest room. Duh. “See you in the morning.”

“Yeah. See you then.”

I strip down to my underwear and crawl into bed, the room seeming to spin around me.

It’s been a weird day, but I’m happier now than when it began.

And horny. I don’t see the point in waiting.

It’s not like we haven’t done it before.

And I really don’t want to wake up alone, when my mind won’t be as numb and I’ll have to face the painful truth.

I slide out from under the sheets and stumble to the door.

Which turns out to be a closet. After snickering, I try again, this time making it to the hall.

That certainly brings back a few memories.

I find myself creeping down it, as if trying to avoid waking his parents.

There are a lot more doors to choose from in this house.

I reach one that is only open a crack and hear the rustling of sheets.

I push my way inside, drunk on hormones as I move toward the bed.

Or maybe all those beers are to blame. That seems more likely.

There must be a nightlight on in an adjoining room—a bathroom probably—because I can see one of Tim’s strong round shoulders, his dark hair spilling across the pillow.

A slumbering lump fills the other half of the mattress.

Chinchilla isn’t much of a guard dog, it would seem.

Tim’s back is to me, so I take off my underwear, kick it aside, and walk around the bed.

I push on his shoulder so he’ll roll onto his back. Then I hear a warm chuckle.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“What do you think?” I ask while climbing on top of him.

His hands move to my hips. “You’re naked.”

“And you’re hard,” I say after lowering my rump.

I bend over to kiss him. Before I can, Tim grabs me and rolls over, trapping me beneath the sheets. “Not like this.”

“How come?”

“Because you’re drunk. And I don’t want to be the reason you can’t go back to Jace.”

That sobers me up. “Can I at least sleep in your room?”

“Yeah.” Tim confuses me by getting out of bed. Despite the limited light, I see enough to know that I’m not the only one who is naked. “I’ll sleep in the guest room,” he says.

“You don’t have to go.”

“We both know that I do.”

He bends over and kisses me on the forehead. “Good night, Benjamin."

"Sweet dreams," I reply.

“Oh, I’ll be dreaming all right!” he says with a chuckle. “C’mon girl.”

Chinchilla rises with a grumble and lumbers out of bed. I watch them go. Then I grab the pillow Tim was sleeping on, turn it vertical to my body, and snuggle it close, breathing in his comfortingly familiar scent while slowly drifting off to sleep.