Page 29 of When Ben Loved Jace (He Loved Him #2)

He swings, cracking Tim across the chin, who falls straight back like he’s out cold.

Jace keeps moving toward him, grabbing Tim by the shoulders just as his head submerges, and for a second, I’m terrified that Jace intends to drown him.

He doesn’t though. He pulls Tim upright again, the shock seeming to have woken him up.

Tim splutters and spits in confusion before gasping in air, his eyes wide.

“He said no!” Jace snarls. “So do I. There’s your answer!”

He shoves Tim against one of the stoney shelves. For support, presumably, but he isn’t exactly gentle.

Jace turns to me. “I’m leaving.”

And with that, he trudges through the water and out of the grotto. I instantly follow, only hesitating when I’m standing at the waterfall, where I glance back. Tim is still where Jace left him, his face twisted up with rage.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I really am.”

And it’s true, because I feel what he feels.

All the potential, more powerful than ever before.

This is more than just hormones. What we have goes way deeper than that.

I’m simply not free to explore it. Even though part of me still wants to.

Even now, in the wake of disaster, I’m tempted to burn it all to the ground for him.

Instead I force myself to turn away so I can chase after Jace. He’s waiting at the edge of the lagoon. I expect him to stomp away with me trailing along behind. Instead he pushes aside the wet hair plastered to my forehead so he can look me in the eyes with transparent concern.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Of course. I know how it must have sounded but…” Tim’s history flashes through my mind—how he was once accused of things that weren’t true. And even if that wasn’t the case, being honest is too important to me. “I wanted to kiss him, Jace.”

“I know you did. I’m not blind.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I get it,” Jace says. “Can we talk about this later? I wanna get out of here.”

“Yeah. Of course.” My mind begins to race as we head to the locker rooms. “I didn’t kiss him back. I need you to know that.”

Jace glances at me, but he’s clearly in no mood to discuss it now. We get dressed in silence, Jace no longer making eye contact. Once we’re ready to go, he rushes for the exit until I grab his arm.

“Wait! We have to give Allison a ride back.”

He nods wordlessly and follows me back to “party central” but stops some distance away.

I can understand why he might not feel like socializing at the moment, especially with Tim’s friends.

Allison has switched into her bikini and is dancing in the middle of a group of guys.

I awkwardly push my way through to her so I can shout over the music.

“We’ve gotta go! Right now!”

“Huh? How come?”

“I messed up!”

She sees my expression and walks with me to the cabana bar.

“Let’s hear it,” she says after batting her eyelashes at the bartender.

“Tim kissed me.”

“Uh huh. It takes two to tango. ”

“I know… It’s actually worse than that. Jace caught us so…” My voice squeaks to a halt. “I ruined everything.”

“Obviously not,” Allison says, nodding over my shoulder. “He’s still standing there, waiting for you.” She takes me by the shoulders and spins me around. “Time for my little bird to leave the nest. You need to be alone with Jace to make this good. I’ll find my own way home.”

“But—”

“I’ll have another glass of champagne, hot stuff,” Allison says while giving me a push.

I stumble forward. When I glance back, she’s draped across the bar flirtatiously. Or drunkenly. Take your pick.

“She’ll catch a ride with someone else,” I tell Jace.

“Fine.”

I follow him to the parking lot, the desolate scenery making me feel foolish for getting caught up in…

whatever that was. A relapse, I suppose.

I slump in the passenger seat, and on the drive home, try to find the right words to make him forgive me, but the situation is just too damning.

Sure, maybe I didn’t kiss Tim back, but I also didn’t push him away.

Not until Jace arrived on the scene. If he hadn’t…

I would have kissed Tim. I can’t deny that.

“I had a close call,” Jace says quietly. “About a month back.”

I sit up straight to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“With a passenger. A lot of people claim to be scared of flying, but occasionally, you get someone who truly is. As in, they have a full-blown panic attack. So yeah, I had a passenger like that, a first-time flier, and he was… my type.”

I press my lips together, almost not wanting to know, but this might be my only hope. “Describe him to me.”

“Skinny… Bleached white hair… He had a bunch of piercings and enough of a punky vibe to remind me of Victor. I volunteered to sit with him. He grabbed my hand. Really clenched it tight for the whole flight, which wasn’t long, thankfully.

I tried to take his mind off the subject by talking to him about other things.

I learned that he’s a drummer in a band, and that he had just broken up with his boyfriend. ”

My stomach sinks. I thought this was going to be a simple story about how it’s normal to find other people attractive. But maybe not .

“He asked me a lot of questions too. So I told him about myself. But not everything.” Jace glances over at me apologetically.

“I don’t know why I didn’t mention you. I guess because sometimes it feels good to pretend that…

” He swallows and shakes his head. “After we landed, he asked if we could meet for a drink. I liked him. It wasn’t just physical.

So I agreed, and we had a few together that night at the hotel bar where he was staying.

He invited me up to his room and I went with him… ”

“Jace,” I croak, well aware that the pain I feel is the same as what I just put him through.

“Nothing happened. I couldn’t do it. He tried to kiss me. I was more successful at preventing the attempt,” he grumbles. “But I thought later, if it really had been Victor, that maybe I wouldn’t have been so strong. I already failed in that regard once before. So like I said… I get it.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, as if not finished. “You need to decide, Ben. I’m not into open relationships or whatever scheme Tim was hatching.

I don’t want to share you with anyone. That having been said, we need to trust each other.

I’m still going to be out of town a lot.

There will always be temptation, for us both.

Ask yourself if you can really be Tim’s friend and nothing more.

If so, I’ll accept that at face value. If not…

You need to decide what to do. Think about it. ”

“I want to be with you,” I say, taking his hand before leaning close to wrap myself around his arm. “I don’t need to think about that.”

“Good,” Jace says, the tension leaving him. “Because I still want to be with you.”

He doesn’t ask me about Tim again. Not during the rest of the drive home nor the rest of the day. That’s up to me, and I already know that it won’t be an easy decision to make.