Page 31 of When Ben Loved Jace (He Loved Him #2)
“Yes. Gabriel was my husband. I met him not long after things fell apart with Michael. Politics were his lifeblood. Being with him was in many ways another sort of awakening for me. Of the heart, yes, but also one of compassion. He taught me the role each of us play in building a better future. Although, as I was saying earlier, we can only contribute to a greater cause, and later, provide support for those who continue the fight after us. Each generation must advocate for their own unique needs. So while I wish there had been more guidance in the books I’d read when growing up, it’s just as important that new books are written that reflect changing times and fresh perspectives.
And perhaps it is also crucial for each generation to experience a baptism by fire.
While I don’t wish for anyone to suffer, the struggles that we minorities must endure—the perseverance required to survive—imbue us with the strength necessary to push back against prejudice and tyranny.
Learning to overcome such hardships makes each of us a warrior in a battle that truly has no end. ”
“Wow,” I say after a moment of silence. “Have you ever thought of running for office?”
Eric laughs pleasantly. “That was Gabriel’s dream, not my own. ”
“When did he pass away?”
“Gabriel? He’s alive and well.”
“Oh! I thought… Are you still together?”
“No. Not since he left me for a younger man.” Eric holds up a palm to ward off any sympathetic words.
“We’re still friends. I love him, and he loves me.
Our paths simply diverged. He wanted to pursue some of those old political ambitions—through the young man in question—and I wanted us to simply enjoy the fruits of our labor.
He was my business partner as well as my husband, you see.
” Eric shrugs. “I felt we’d done enough conquering.
How much success does one man truly need? ”
“That sounds rough.”
Eric waves a hand dismissively. “It was, for the most part, a very happy marriage. We still enjoy each other’s company. I refuse to feel sorry for myself. I’ve been far luckier than most.”
I feel a swell of affection for the man. I’m glad Tim has someone like Eric in his life. Although his good influence hasn’t made things easier on me. Not with Tim so freely expressing his emotions.
“Did you ever find it hard to navigate?” I ask. “Being friends with Gabriel, I mean. Was that a big adjustment at first?”
“But of course!” Eric places a palm over his chest. “He broke my heart! I was angry. And disappointed. No, it was many years before we were on civil terms again. I’m very grateful to Marcello for helping me through those dark times.”
“What about now? Are you ever… I don’t know. Tempted?”
“To strangle him? Yes.” Eric smiles playfully before reassessing me.
“Ah. I see what you’re getting at. Gabriel and I do still have chemistry.
On occasion, he has bemoaned his decision, since his new relationship is much more volatile than ours ever was.
If they were to ever split up, I might even welcome him back.
But there haven’t been any close calls like what you so recently experienced.
I hope you don’t mind that Tim confided in me. ”
“Not at all,” I assure him. Part of me wants to ask him exactly what Tim said, but I won’t, since it’s an unhealthy curiosity.
“I suspect the difference in our two cases,” Eric continues, “is that Gabriel and I spent decades together. There weren’t really any mysteries left, whereas your relationship with Tim was relatively short-lived. There must be a lingering sense of unfinished business.”
I swallow and nod. “Especially since he wasn’t able to be so open with his feelings, like he is now. Back when we were together, he never even said that he loved me.”
Eric seems surprised by this, which makes me wonder what else Tim has told him.
“Do you think it’s possible?” I ask. “I want to be his friend but… I don’t know. I’m the one who left him. And sometimes, I wish I hadn’t. Even now.”
Eric hesitates, clearly conflicted. Probably because of his loyalty to Tim. I stop recording on my phone, in case that helps.
“I feel unqualified to answer that question,” Eric says at last. “It’s a deeply personal decision. I just know that Tim has often expressed his regret over how things ended. And I’ve seen firsthand that you being a part of his life again makes him incredibly happy.”
It’s definitely the sort of answer a friend would give, but that doesn’t make it untrue.
We hear barking. Eric gets up to let Chinchilla in.
I glance around the living room while lost in thought, some part of me processing what I see, because a certain detail stands out.
Art covers the walls. That’s no revelation.
Tim even brought my attention to a few of his favorite pieces the last time I was here… But none of them are his.
“Do you have any of Tim’s paintings?”
Eric’s expression is blank as he returns with Chinchilla in tow. “What do you mean?”
“You like art. Are there any of his hanging up somewhere?”
“These all belong to me,” Eric says after another pause. “I wasn’t aware that he owned any paintings. Or am I misunderstanding you?”
I don’t think he’s trying to keep a secret for Tim’s benefit.
Could it be that he really doesn’t know?
I remember suddenly how Tim’s fingers looked different to me the other day.
I couldn’t figure out why then, but I do now.
I haven’t noticed any smudges of color on his skin, or paint under his fingernails.
He hasn’t talked about his art at all, except in regards to his education.
“I just thought, with him majoring in architecture…” I say lamely. I don’t go any further, since I can’t bring myself to lie to him.
Eric blinks. “What a charming idea! I’ve always found blueprints intriguing. I’ll have to ask to see some of his. I could have them framed!”
I stay long enough to smooth over the misstep and to finish off the glass of wine. Then I thank Eric before excusing myself, because I have a lot to think about. My thesis, yes, but that now seems easy by comparison to a much more pressing issue.
What am I going to do about my ex-boyfriend?