Page 20 of When Ben Loved Jace (He Loved Him #2)

“Yeah, maybe. But none of them could compete. Not with you.”

I can’t hold his gaze for long, because it wasn’t just the shock of running into each other again that made him lower his defenses. Everything he feels is still on display, right there for me to see.

We reach the playground and gravitate toward the swings, so we’ll have somewhere to sit.

I won’t be facing him directly, which should help my resolve, because it’s already difficult not to sneak little peeks.

He’s exceedingly handsome, sure, but there’s more to it than that because he used to be mine. Or maybe I was his.

“So anyway—” Tim sways while kicking at the ground. “—by the time I came out, I never thought I’d see you again.”

“Wait… What?”

He notices my astonishment and smiles. “That’s one of the things I was excited to tell you. I came out.”

“As what exactly?”

“Straight,” he says sarcastically, shaking the chain of my swing to jostle me. “I’m bisexual. And no , that doesn’t mean I haven’t fully accepted myself. I like women and always will. But I also like guys. Maybe a little more, to be honest.”

“Okay, so what’s the name of your boyfriend,” I splutter, “because there’s no way that you’re single. ”

“Why’s that?” he asks, clearly fishing for compliments.

“You know why.”

He shrugs. “I’m single.”

“Since when?” I challenge. “Last week?”

“For a while now,” he shoots back, sounding defensive. “I got my fucking heart broken, okay?”

I’m a lot more somber in my response. “You fell in love with someone?"

Tim’s brow furrows up. “It’s complicated.” His eyes search out mine. “How much time do we have? I mean… Is this it? Because if so, I’d rather talk about you.”

“I’m not sure,” I admit. “But I have a lot of questions for you too.”

“Like what?”

I lick dry lips, the subject difficult to broach. “I’ve heard things, Tim. Rumors.”

“Oh yeah?” His fists clench on the swing chains before he pulls himself up into a standing position. He walks a few paces before turning to face me, his face twisted up. “Fine. Let’s hear them.”

“Never mind.”

Tim gestures, like he’s challenging someone to a fight. “Come on! Don’t be shy. I’ve heard it all before.”

I swallow. “Who’s the old guy that you live with?”

He shakes his head in disgust. “My sugar daddy. What else could it be, right? I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about me—”

That’s new.

“—but when they talk bad about Eric…” Tim grimaces, his anger giving way to a very different emotion as he walks toward me, expression pleading with me to understand.

“He doesn’t deserve to be reduced to that.

Eric is a good guy. Nobody has helped me more than him.

Except for you. And for the record, if Eric wanted that sort of thing from me, he sure as hell wouldn’t need to pay. I’d give it to him for free.”

“So you aren’t…” I hesitate, not wanting to upset him. “Involved in any way?”

“I wouldn’t be ashamed of it if I was. But no.

He’s just my friend. Except it’s not so simple, because he means a lot more to me than that.

I don’t know.” Tim swallows. “Sometimes I think he’s the dad I wished I’d had when growing up.

And in a way, he reminds me of you. Like, who you’ll be when we’re that age.

” His face lights up suddenly. “Hey! I bet you’d like each other. You’ve gotta meet him!”

“Sure,” I say without considering the consequences.

“Cool! You can come over tomorrow. I’ll make dinner for you guys.”

“Is that really a good— Wait, you actually know how to cook now?”

“Yeah! Eric taught me. It’s kind of our thing.” He studies me with a curious smile. “A lot has changed, Benjamin.”

Obviously.

He gestures with his head, like he wants to keep walking, which is reassuringly familiar. Tim never could sit still for long.

“So tell me about the new guy,” he says. “A flight attendant, huh? Is he hotter than me?”

His tones are playful, making me laugh.

“He’s hot,” I admit. “Do you want to see a photo?”

“Yeah. Let’s take a look at the competition.”

I pull out my phone and show him a few of my favorite pictures of Jace, studying Tim’s face more than the screen while doing so.

He’s quiet until saying, almost reluctantly, “He’s a good-looking dude.”

“Thanks.”

“Does he treat you well?”

“Yeah. He’s really sweet.”

“All the time though?”

I nod. “We don’t really argue.”

“Sure, but does he love you as much as you need him to?”

I make a face. “Stop looking for chinks in his armor.”

“Sorry. How long have you been with him?”

“Four months.”

“So not as long as we were together. I’m still ahead in the race.”

He dodges when I try shoving him away, but of course Tim comes right back again. Then he asks the big question.

“Do you love him?”

I nod, an edge of rawness to my voice when I answer. “Yeah.”

“Goddamn it.” Tim sighs. “Well, if he ever messes up, you’ve got options. Remember that. ”

I don’t know how to respond. Fortunately, I notice a convenient distraction. “Hey! Is that your old car?”

“Yup!” he confirms, leading me over to it. “I don’t drive it as much these days. Eric has some nice wheels. I usually just borrow one of his.”

“ One of his?”

“Uh-huh. The money part of the rumor is true. He’s rich.”

“What happened to the paint job?” I ask, noticing how the clear coat has been stripped away in patches.

“Dickwads happened to it,” Tim grumbles. “That’s a story for another time. I need to go home and lick my wounds. I thought the night was going to end with us in bed together.”

“Oh really?” I challenge.

He nods. “It was either that, or I figured you’d refuse to talk to me. You really threw me a curve ball with this Jack guy.”

“Jace,” I correct.

“Right. Hey, you can bring him with you tomorrow, if you want.”

“Thanks, but he’s out of town.”

“Some other time then,” Tim says, patting his pockets. “Can I get your number? And my phone? I’ll text you the address. Unless you want me to pick you up. I totally will.”

“I’ll come to you.”

We exchange information. Then it gets awkward, because we can’t kiss each other goodbye, and even a hug seems a little much, considering the tension that remains between us.

Tim reaches out and ruffles my hair.

Oh right. I almost forgot how he used to do that.

“See you tomorrow, Benjamin.”

He gets into his black sports car, rolls down the window to smirk at me, and then takes off down the street.

When I turn around, I almost expect to see my parents’ house.

I’m not trapped in the past though. I’m a different person now.

And so is he. That’s what I can’t stop thinking about, even after I go inside.