Page 57 of When Ben Loved Jace (He Loved Him #2)

I hurry to do so. Then I have to sprint to the back door, because Tim is done waiting.

The house smells weird as we enter. A combination of cigarettes, weed, and something else.

A fog hangs over the living room, which has lost its tasteful elegance.

I’m hard pressed to say why in the moment.

The creepy-looking people lounging around don’t help.

Nor does the ear-splitting music. We have to step over a guy who is sprawled out on the floor.

He doesn’t seem to notice us. Nor do Ryan and a group of guys who are writhing manically to the music.

The sweet-smelling smoke surrounding them probably has something to do with that.

I try not to breathe too deeply. Tim marches over to the sound system and unplugs it.

All eyes—those still capable of focusing, at least—orient on him.

“You’re home!” Ryan cries in delight.

“Yeah,” Tim shoots back. “I got your message. What the fuck? She could have drowned!”

“Oh stop,” Ryan says, moving toward him.

“I wouldn’t have let—” He stops suddenly, having finally noticed me, his face twisting up before he rounds on Tim.

“You have some nerve bringing your whore here! It’s bad enough that you sneak around.

You just made a big mistake!” Ryan returns his attention to me, his whole body trembling with rage.

That’s when I realize how hopeless the situation is. Tim will never convince him that we’re not together. I’m the perfect scapegoat for their broken relationship. Ryan is incapable of accepting personal responsibility. All I can do is confirm his worst fears.

“I’m not his whore,” I retort. “That’s you , Ryan. You’re his side action. That’s all you’ve been since the beginning. Do you really think you can compete with me? The guy he’s loved since high school? I’m the main attraction!”

Ryan’s eyes go wide. I’ve not only managed to slide the blade between his ribs, I’ve turned it three-sixty as well. After a pathetic whimper, he recovers from the shock and launches himself at me. “I’ll fucking kill you!”

“No you won’t!” Tim blocks his path. “Don’t you dare! I’ve fucking had it with you! Do you hear me? We’re finished!”

“What?” Ryan squeaks. “Oh whatever. You need me!” He steps to the side, so he can point a trembling finger in my direction.

“Do you really think he’s going to leave his husband for you?

Why hasn’t he already? You’re being played, Tim.

I’m the only one who loves you. I’d never leave you like he did.

Twice! I know I’ve been bad, baby, but I wouldn’t hurt you like that.

Ever! I’m all you’ve got. Don’t throw it away. ”

Tim’s shoulders slump.

I’ve heard enough.

“You’re wrong,” I say, stepping forward to take Tim’s hand. “He’s got me. I’m getting a divorce. Tim already asked me to marry him. Here’s my answer. ”

I pull him close, throw my arms around his neck, and kiss Tim like I’ve wanted to since I saw those silver eyes watching me from across a darkened theater.

My love for him never went away. I can’t even pretend it was dormant.

I feel just as strongly as I always have, and I know it’s the same for him, because he immediately kisses me back.

I can feel his relief, his need, his undying affection.

I give him just as much in return, forgetting everything and everyone in that moment, because there is only me and him. Ben and Tim. Us .

He finally pulls back, tears filling his eyes, but he’s wearing a great big beautiful smile. God how I missed it!

I hear a cry of anguish and look over just in time to see Ryan fall to his knees. He must have witnessed exactly what I felt—that there’s no touching what we have together. With one exception, but I can’t think about him right now. I have to stay strong and see this through.

“ Please! ” Ryan whines.

“Not a chance in hell!” Tim says, turning to face him. “As far as I’m concerned, that’s exactly where you can go.”

Ryan brings his hands together. “I’m begging you!”

Tim scowls and shakes his head.

“Fine.” Ryan’s angelic features harden as he pushes himself to his feet. “Have it your way. You know what I’m going to do. When they find my dead body, there will be a note in my pocket telling everyone whose fault it is!”

“Don’t,” Tim says, his tone softening. “I can’t stop you, but please don’t.

Go to rehab instead. Get your life together.

I’ll pay for it. But I won’t let you hold me hostage anymore.

We don’t make each other happy. We’re a toxic combination.

So I either hurt you by letting you stay with me, or I hurt you by saying goodbye.

At least this way, you have a chance of being happy. But only if you don’t kill yourself.”

“Easy for you to say!” Ryan snaps. “What do I have? Nothing!”

“You can go to rehab,” Tim repeats. “You’ll have a roof over your head, three square meals a day, and people who can help.”

“Fuck you!”

Tim shrugs. “The offer stands. We can talk about it while I help you pack. As for the rest of you…” He glances around. “It’s time to le ave.”

Nobody moves.

Tim’s chest swells. “Get the fuck out my house!” he bellows.

That does the trick. They begin to scatter, some having to rouse the others.

I step out back with Chinchilla. Tim will have to handle the rest on his own.

I can’t always be there to hold his hand.

Besides, I have my own crisis to deal with.

Not one of the heart. My love for Tim is no revelation.

I just need to figure out how I’m going to explain this to Jace, because he deserves to know the truth.

Yes, I could simply claim that it was all a calculated move to scare Ryan off.

And it was. But there’s a reason the ploy was so effective.

I stretch out on the grass and stare at the stars, Chinchilla settling down next to me, although her attention remains fixed on the house. I’m not sure how much time passes. When she stands and rushes off, I sit up again. Tim walks over, escorted by a delighted dog, and offers me his hand.

“Thank you,” he says, after pulling me to my feet. “For what you did in there. That kiss… It gave me the courage I needed, because I’d almost forgotten how good it can feel when you really… Well, you know.”

“I do,” I say before gnawing my bottom lip.

“Are you going to be in trouble?”

“Probably. Just promise to make it worth my while. Is he gone now?”

Tim sighs. “Yeah. I sent Ryan to the rehab clinic in a taxi. I’d be surprised if he actually checks in. Or stays long enough even if he does.”

“That isn’t your problem now.”

“Thank goodness.” He exhales, as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders, although a crinkle of concern still remains on his brow. “I need to get Chinchilla fed and straighten the place up a little.”

“I’d offer to help, but I am not cleaning up after yet another party I didn’t attend. Besides, something tells me you can afford a maid.”

He laughs. “For real. I just wanna make sure there isn’t anything that can make Chinchilla sick.”

“Now that’s something I’m willing to do.”

He glances toward the house before searching my face. “Do you wanna stay the night?”

“Tim! ”

“Not like that,” he says, raising his palms. “I just don’t want to be alone. You can invite Jace over.”

“He’s out of town.”

“Oh. In that case, do you wanna have sex?”

I can tell he’s kidding. The shit-eating grin is a welcome sight. He already seems more like his old self.

“For real,” he says. “The staying-over part, I mean. I know that I’m gonna have to face living in an empty house again. And I will. I just don’t want to right now, when everything is still so raw. I’ll put fresh sheets on the guest room bed.”

I nod without having to think about it, because I want to make sure that he’s okay. Besides… this might be the last time we ever see each other.

— — —

Waking up the next morning is disorientating until the events of the previous night come back to me.

Much of it was spent reassuring Tim that he’d done the right thing.

Understandably, since the sort of threats Ryan was making would be difficult for anyone to shake.

I tried to keep Tim focused on the positive.

We played with Chinchilla. I sang to him.

We looked through a yearbook from our senior year while drumming up old memories.

Once I was alone in my room for the night, I called Jace and told him everything.

Almost. He knows that I scared Ryan off by claiming that I was getting a divorce to marry Tim.

I didn’t mention the kiss. I’d rather do so in person, when he’s home tonight.

Although I did taste guilt at the end of our call, when he said, “I’m proud of you, Ben. ”

I hope he still feels that way when he finds out the full truth.

For now, I slide out of bed, get dressed in yesterday’s clothes, and go downstairs, making a quick stop in the bathroom along the way.

I hear noise and follow it to the kitchen, where I expect to find Tim.

What greets me instead is a large rump, waving back and forth in front of the open refrigerator door.

A husky voice is softly singing, providing a rhythm for the butt to shake to.

“Um… Hello?”

“Ah!” The visitor pulls his head out of the refrigerator to beam at me.

“There he is, the man of the hour, the hero of the day!” He walks over with a hand extended, and I finally recognize him—Marcello, the flamboyant peacock who threw the lavish birthday party at the water park.

“I owe you a debt of gratitude, my dear boy, for you’ve done the impossible by casting out that wretched child. Ding-dong, the witch is dead!”

He takes my hand in his before enveloping it completely with the other. I laugh as most of my body shakes with the pumping gesture.

“This calls for celebration!” Marcello declares. “I was just about to open a bottle of champagne. Join me, please.”