Page 73 of Two Daddies for Little Jenna

The way Jenna looked so serious with her threat to spank me was just too cute. I couldn't help but get out of my thoughts and let out a loud laugh.

"Fine, let's do this, sweet bunny." I got out of the car and helped her out.

Taking each of their hands, I led them to the porch and rang the doorbell.

"Sorry, I'll be there in a minute," I heard Megan saying.

Blood froze in my veins just hearing her voice again. My heart raced in my chest and my knees threatened to buckle. I was about ready to bolt, but my family stepped closer to me and I couldn't let them down. Not after they stuck with me even after I tried cutting them out of my life.

The door flew open and there stood Megan, just as pretty as the day she walked into the bar. Bradley never really hit on women because he didn't have to. He was genetically blessed and women usually threw themselves at him. He never considered himself a gift to women from God like some of our friends did.

Back in college, John had once asked me if I noticed something unique about Bradley. I had no idea what but John made me guess nevertheless. After several failed attempts, John told me that Bradley was exceptionally handsome, and while men didn't treat him any differently for it, every woman he came across did. They always gave him subtle hints that they were interested, but Bradley didn't seem to register them. So I asked Bradley one day when we were at the bar if he doesn't notice women hitting on him. He opened his mouth to answer, but right then a beautiful woman had walked into the bar. Little did he know back then that she was going to be his wife one day. I never got to know the answer to my question, and now I never would. He asked me to be his wingman and it was an honor to watch him fall in love, but good god if only I'd known I'd be the reason to snatch her husband away from her. I'd have run far away and never returned into his life. Oh, how time changed everything.

"Nicholas," Megan now said sourly, crossing his arms, stepping aside, and letting us in. "Didn't think I'd get to see you again, especially not on Bradley's death anniversary."

It took a lot of strength not to burst into tears. I opened my mouth to speak, but the words refused to come out. When Jenna rubbed a thumb on the back of my hand, I took a deep breath.

"I go by Nick now. I wasn't the same person after watching Bradley die in my arms. It was too traumatic to think the Nicholas I always was could let that happen to his best friend. It was easier to force everyone to call me by a different name. Easier than facing the harsh reality of what I'd done."

I hung my head low in humiliation. I had sunk the lowest when I led Bradley down the path to doom. There was nothing left for me to lose, but things changed when Jenna walked into my life. I wasn't a robot going through life's motions anymore. She made me want to live again. But alas, even her love wasn't enough to make me forget my crimes.

"Dada," I heard in the distance and whipped my head up to see a baby crawling towards me. The baby wrapped his tiny arms around my leg and looked up at me.

"No more crawling out of your crib, Nicholas," Megan scolded, taking him into her arms and swaying side to side.

"Nicholas?" My eyes widened in horror. "Why would you name him that?"

"I didn't." She sighed and shook her head. "You didn't know this, but Bradley went on and on about you when you weren't around. I once jokingly told him he should've gotten married to you instead. Do you know what was the first thing he said when I told him it was a boy? Not that he'll take him fishing or teach him basketball. He told me that he hoped he was going to turn out as brave and strong as you, that he was going to name him after you as a tribute to everything you'd done for him. He said no matter where their friendship went, his son was always going to be a reminder of how good of a friend you were, for being there when he was bullied in kindergarten, when his parents beat him like crazy, when you fought with your parents to take him in, and for being there for him when no one else was. No, it was more than friendship he claimed. Brother from another mother was the phrase he liked to use a lot."

"Me? Brave?" I let go of Jenna and Clark's hands to hug myself as I finally burst into tears. "I'm a coward for leading Bradley to his death. He didn't have to repay me for anything. His friendship meant everything to me. I was the one who needed to repay him, for being there for me when my ex cheated with my brother. He visited me every single day to make sure I was okay. The truth is that Bradley was the brave one. Do you know how he died? He jumped in front of a family under gunfire. One life to save a family of four."

Now Megan was sobbing too, placing baby Nicholas in the crib. "Well, that was my Bradley alright. Always wanted to be a hero. Remember how he loved watching all the Marvel films. He was obsessed with superheroes. Wanted to be one too. Looks like his wish came true. I wish it didn't have to be at the cost of losing him."

"I'm sorry I got him killed," I said. "I know it's something that can never be forgiven."

"Is that why you haven't visited in a year?" She asked with a frown. "You think I blame you for his death?"

She continued when I nodded, wrapping her arms around me. "Well, I don't, so you don't have to apologize for anything. How could I blame you? I remember as if it was just yesterday, Bradley coming home and telling me he wanted to fulfill his childhood dream of being a soldier. You should've seen the spark in his eyes. He was the happiest I'd ever seen him, said he was going to be a real-life superhero. You asked him to come with you, but you didn't force him into anything. When he died, I was all alone. John and Michael visited me so frequently. They still do. I hoped you'd come visit. When you didn't, I started questioning if you were as good of a friend as Bradley always made you out to be. Bradley would've been heartbroken to know you blame yourself, that you aren't the same man he looked up to. You knew him better than anyone else, even better than me. I want you to be a part of his son's life. He needs to grow up learning all about his father. Bradley would've wanted that. So don't be a stranger anymore."

When she broke the hug, I stood up straight and took a deep breath before wiping my tears away. "I would be honored to be a part of Nicholas' life. I'll tell him every single thing about his father. It'll be like he's right there with him. And I'll come visit often. I promise. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I was too ashamed to show myself."

We stayed for lunch when Megan offered. Baby Nicholas couldn't understand a word I was saying, but I told him about some of the adventures we'd had together in kindergarten, how I'd staved off his bully by barking at him like a dog. Clark had been right. I'd spent a year self-loathing when I could've spent it celebrating his life with the people who knew him.

After bidding them goodbye, Clark suggested we head on over to his grave, so we did. As I stood at his gravestone, Jenna and Clark were back to holding my hands.

"I'm sorry you had to see Daddy cry, sweet bunny," I said sniffling, looking down at the gravestone. "I know I'm supposed to be this dominant Daddy devoid of emotions."

"Nothing to apologize for, Daddy. Daddies are people too. You once told me I was allowed to cry because it removes all the bad energy and negative thoughts out of your head. I don't want you to be a dominant Daddy devoid of emotions. I want you to be you, no matter who that is because it's who I fell in love with."

"Thanks for being there, you two." I shifted my gaze between them. "I wouldn't have had the courage to do this on my own. Thanks to you, I get to be a part of his son's life."

"See, didn't I tell you?" Clark said. "Facing your fears and your past doesn't always have to be scary. It can lead to good things. Don't you feel better now?"

"Much better." I nodded. "I've been worrying myself to death for the past year assuming Megan blamed me. Such a turn of events for her to want me to visit. I guess you really should never assume the worst scenario to be true."

I couldn't believe how good I felt after following a Daddy's advice. I guess Jenna was right after all. Sometimes Daddies needed a Daddy too. What I had in Clark was a friend, though, and I had a feeling he was going to be just as good a friend as Bradley was.

Chapter 34: Jenna