Page 67 of Two Daddies for Little Jenna

"Alright, then." Nick nodded, taking a seat next to me and resting his legs on the coffee table. "I know you wanted to wait till you're ready, but this concerns your safety now. I need to know what exactly is going on. Why is someone after you?"

I looked at Daddy Clark with a frown for reassurance. I feared scaring Nick away with my baggage, but he deserved to know the truth. If he decided this was too much for him, then it was never meant to be.

I took a deep breath when Clark nodded and began. "I didn't have a nice childhood. The only world I and my siblings knew was between four walls. We weren't allowed to leave the house. I realized I was born in a satanic cult when I was about ten. Before that, I thought it was how the rest of the world lived. Otis was the founder of the cult and he came up with all sorts of cruel rituals in the name of pleasing Satan. One of them was to have someone locked up in the pitch-dark basement at all times with nothing to do. We were supposed to take turns staying in the basement for weeks on end with barely any food and water. We came out of there with barely any weight left on us, broken and ready to obey every command. When two of my siblings lost their lives to the rituals, I just couldn't watch them die one by one. They were just so young. Their bodies couldn't handle such starvation. I volunteered to stay on their behalf, but it meant I had to stay there for months on end. When my brother Miles was a bit older, he began sharing the burden. I always wanted to run away and see the world, but I couldn't leave my siblings behind, and so I stayed and looked after them like a parent would. I finally ran away one day when I was supposed to be married away to be Otis' eighth wife. Otis claimed Satan chose me to be his wife, so he couldn't stop coming after him, because his pride in the cult was at stake. When he kidnapped me, Daddy saved me, and Otis was sent to prison, thereby bringing an end to the cult and his cruelty. Several arrests were made for severe child negligence, sending my parents and other members to prison."

Nick shook his head in disbelief. It must sound strange to someone who hadn't been there to see how crazy things were in the cult. The real world was far from the cruel oppressive fantasy Otis had built.

Nick's eyes widened in some sudden realization. "That explains why you ran away from the basement. You thought I was going to lock you up!"

"Don't take it personally, Daddy, but I have a general fear of basements," I said when I saw tears in his eyes. "Please don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known."

"Sorry, darling." He blinked his tears away and then wiped his eyes before running a hand through his bright red hair. "I just have this vivid picture of you in my head now, one where you're locked in the basement for months just staring into the darkness. Remember my dead friend, Bradley? His parents used to whip him crazy for no reason. I was too young and I didn't know how to help him. I was kinda glad when they died, knowing they couldn't hurt him anymore. Makes me a horrible person, I know. But I've never been able to comprehend such cruelty. The world is a fucked-up place with fucked up people in it. But it's all worth it because there are also sweet people like you. Sweet, innocent, and worth protecting at all costs."

"And also people like you both," I added. "Kind and loving."

Nick chuckled as tears continued to form in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm crying. I'm supposed to be this strong and fearless Daddy. I'm supposed to give you strength, but the truth is I'm scared of losing you, and I'm devastated about the things you had to go through. I wish I could make everything better for you, but I don't know how."

"Sometimes Daddies need a hug too." I wrapped my arms around Nick and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"They sure do," Clark said, leaning in to hug Nick with me. "It's okay to be scared."

I always hoped and prayed for us to become a family, but somewhere along the way, we'd become one without me even realizing it. We were there for each other when the need arose. If these were indeed my final days, if at the end I had to sacrifice my life for my Daddies' safety, it would all be worth it. I would die saving my family, and what better way to go than knowing I was loved by friends and family for the first time in my life.

We sat there in a group hug for a long time, our hands around each other. In a way, the hug was my way of saying goodbye. There might not be an official one, but this would have to do. There was no telling when the masked man would attack next, and when the time came, I would be ready to sacrifice my life for theirs. One life to save two. It was only fair. I had suffered so much I had written my life off as a lost cause. But my Daddies had brought joy into my life, joy like I'd never known before, and for that alone, they deserved nine lives each.

As if reading my mind, Nick broke the hug and said, "You were really going to give up your life for ours, huh? Such a brave girl, for both this and for suffering to spare your siblings. But now that everyone's safe, I want to reiterate what your Daddy warned. We'll bust your bottom real bad if you endanger your safety. You're the bravest Little girl I've ever met, but we don't want you to be brave in this regard."

I frowned, shifting my gaze between them. "Daddy Clark says that all the time too. I've never thought of myself as brave. I wish I could blindly believe you, because how could you lie when you love me so much. But the truth is, I'm far from brave. I still spend way too much time reliving the past. Memories replay over and over again in my head, giving me pangs of anxiety which I've learned to hide. Even when I'm laughing and playing tag with Michael, or when you're reading me a bedtime story, there's this fear that everything's going to be taken away from me when I least expect it. Not because I don't deserve it, because Daddy Clark has taught me that I do. But because life has always been that way for me. I'm not brave, Daddies. I'm constantly scared and anxious, and I don't know if it's ever going to be better. I couldn't be selfish and get you killed, not when my life is already a lost cause when I know no matter how much you love me, this fear and anxiety might never go away, eating away at me ever so slowly. I thought life was going to be carefree after sending Otis behind bars, that life was finally making up for what I'd lost by giving me two Daddies who loved me to death. Your love might have somehow managed to get rid of my fear and anxiety with time, and maybe I was truly going to find true carefree happiness. But now my life is in danger again, and I know I'll turn into an anxious mess all over again, wondering when everything I love will all be taken away from me. It'll be all I can think about until it drives me crazy."

Before I knew it, my throat was dry and I had burst into tears.

"There, there," Clark said, patting my back and rubbing it in small circles. "Everything's going to be alright, Jenna. You're not a lost cause. Your Daddies love you, sweetheart, and we can't live without you. You're going through PTSD, and while it might look like nothing is going to get better, it will. I can promise you that much. I know you don't like to talk to strangers about your problems, but your Daddies know best. The moment this threat is taken care of, you're seeing a therapist. It's the only way you can get better."

It was one of those times when Daddies comforted their Littles that everything was going to be alright, like the time Uncle John told Michael everything was going to be fine even though uncle John had no control over the situation. My Daddies had no control over the masked stranger's actions, but their reassurances were comforting nevertheless.

Now it was my turn to be comforted in a group hug. It was beautiful how the three of us had found each other. Three pieces of the same puzzle who'd been unknowingly searching for each other all their lives. Three pieces who were incomplete without the other. Three pieces who were meant to be a family, and I was the piece holding us all together, except I feared I wasn't going to be around much longer to see where it could have led us. I wish I could see what kind of future we'd have had if such a big threat hadn't walked into our lives. But it did, and it wouldn't stop coming after me until it got what it wanted.

"You're not alone in this," Daddy Nick said when I'd calmed down, taking my face in his hands. "A Little isn't supposed to overthink or worry so hard. It's a Daddy's duty to worry. I need you to give us control, darling."

"Great idea." Daddy Clark wiped my tears away. "We'll get our babygirl undressed and then have a nice and long bath. Know what you'll do? You won't have a worry in your head as you play with your bath toys and squeaky ducks. You'll think about Nico and Princess chasing each other in the backyard, and your Daddies showering you with their love. Once we've cleaned you up well, we'll towel dry you and put you in cute diapers as you suck on your binky and hug Doggo and Bunno. Your favorite cloth ones, the red one with little puppies all over."

With each sentence I had begun to slip into my headspace, instinctively slipping a thumb in my mouth and sucking on it vigorously. My anxiety never left me, but this was as close as it got to leaving me alone. How could it not when I was comforted by my Daddies' deep soothing voices?

"Yeah, and then what?" I asked as I spoke around the thumb, cooing and giggling as I did.

"Then we'll take turns feeding you warm dinner," Daddy Nick added with a warm smile.

"And then what?" I asked, giggling again.

"Then we'll watch some cartoons together on the couch," Nick said, "and you'll sit in our laps as we cuddle you. Then we'll read you one of my upcoming books. No one's read it before because it hasn't been published. You'll be the very first because that's how special you are to me. And then we'll sandwich you with our big warm bodies in bed all night, just the way you like, and you'll feel the safest you've ever felt. It's the truth because as long as you have us by your side, you're our brave girl and no one can harm you."

"So tell me then, who's your Daddy?" Clark asked with a warm smile, stroking my pigtails.

"You are." I pointed at them and sighed in contentment.

"Yes, we are," Nick said as he stood up, picking me up in his arms and shifting me on his hip before leading the way to the bathroom.

The next morning, I woke up to find Daddy Nick missing. It was silly of me to think someone had broken in and kidnapped him, but I couldn't relax until I saw him.