Page 38 of Two Daddies for Little Jenna

"I have something to say." Michael put his feet in the water and kicked them back and forth, making small ripples. "It's about Princess."

There was a change in his cadence and I knew it was something really bad. He rarely stepped out of his Little space and it usually meant it was something serious.

"Have you visited the vet yet?" Elijah asked.

Michael nodded sadly and held his head in his hands. "They ran some tests to see if the tiny lump on her tummy is cancerous. We're waiting for the results. I feel like I should be preparing to lose her, but she's still just a puppy starting her life. God, it all just feels so surreal."

He'd been comforting Elijah minutes ago to stay strong. Who knew he himself was going through so much.

"Oh, hon'." I wrapped an arm around his shoulder with Elijah following, and soon we were hugging him in the middle. "Is that why you wanted to adopt the newborn bear cub? So it wouldn't hurt as much if you lost Princess?"

Michael scoffed as he got teary-eyed. "God, I'm so stupid. As if getting a new pet would ease the pain of losing my precious Princess. I was so scared I was gonna give her the wrong name when Daddy gifted her to me. But Daddy told me she'd understand if I changed her name later on. She made me realize that it's just how dogs are, selfless and possessing the ability to provide unconditional love. Did I ever tell you why I named her Princess?"

I nodded as Princess climbed into Michael's lap, whining and licking his face. She was distressed because she sensed Michael was sad.

"Because you treat her like a princess. You truly do. I've never seen a dog get its own room, a full-sized bed, and a TV."

Michael smiled through his tears as he pet Princess in his lap, looking down at her. "She's always with me, so it isn't like she uses her room anyway. And she always sleeps with us in our bed, or the nursery bed when I nap. I can't even fall asleep if I'm not cuddling her. Daddy forbids me from sharing my food but I always sneak her some. Eating the same dog food every day could get boring."

"See, you treat her so well," I said. "So I need you to be strong and positive for her sake. She's right here with you now, so cherish the moments. Wait for the results before you start panicking. I wish I could tell you everything was going to be alright, but we're Littles and we know how cruel life can be. What I'm going to tell you is this. Elijah and I will be with you every step of the way. So will your Daddy. You're not alone in this."

We spent the next few minutes petting Princess together and calling her a good girl. She could barely contain her excitement of receiving all the love and attention, as was apparent from the vigorously wagging tail. Nico sat by our side, watching in disbelief at the betrayal of not being called good. So then it was Nico's turn to sit in our laps as we showered him with pets and compliments.

Soon I heard Nick calling out for us from the patio, announcing that the snacks were ready.

"Yay, snack time!" Michael stood up in no time and fist-pumped the air, then racing towards the door. "Last one to get inside is a stinky possum."

Just like that, he was back in his Little space. But the eyes never lied, for the pain and fear of possibly losing his pet still lingered in his eyes.

Once inside, I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw the lineup. Our Daddies should get together more often if it meant we'd get such a feast, none of which was green or healthy. Or maybe it was their way of comforting Elijah and Michael's sadness. There were also beers for the grown-ups and sippy cups full of milk for us Littles. Tonight we were feasting.

Chapter 19: Nick

The sun had begun to set and the sky was slowly being plunged into darkness. Everyone was inside enjoying their beer or milk, but here I was sitting at the pier with my feet in the water.

There were so many people around and I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I felt very lonely. Jenna brought joy and happiness simply by coming into my life. She even took away the loneliness that had come from pushing people away ever since Bradley's death. But there were times like now when loneliness returned with full force and there was nothing I could do to make it go away. Or maybe it was guilt that was haunting me and I refused to acknowledge it.

I now turned around when I heard footsteps behind me.

"There you are," I said with a forced smile as Jenna and Clark walked up to me hand in hand. "I was just about to come back inside."

"I was so excited for today," Jenna said as they took seats next to me. "But it's turning out to be such a sad day. Everyone's sad and I wish I could make them all feel better."

"Sad? I'm not sad," I lied, trying to make my smile brighter.

"Lying through your teeth, I see," Clark said in his stern Daddy voice. "Is that what you plan on teaching my girl? You’re hiding away your feelings and pretending everything is fine."

"Daddy's right. You're going through a lot but you don't let me in. Please, Nick. I care about you. You said you want to see me happy. Why is it so hard to understand that I want the same for you?"

I sighed and shook my head. "I can't hide anything from you two, can I?"

She took my hand and kissed it. "You can tell me anything, you know. It's fine if you want to have some alone time too. If you want to go back home, I'd understand."

"It's Bradley," I said quietly in the silence that followed, my head hung low. "He's all I think about since his death. Now that I'm not so involved at the club, I'm left alone with my thoughts and they're haunting me. The memories are all rushing back in, not that they ever left, but they feel so fresh these days."

"I know what you mean," she said, throwing her arms around me and rubbing small circles on my back. "My thoughts haunt me too sometimes. Daddy says you should talk about your feelings. Mourning is part of the healing process. So if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here."

"Me too," Clark interrupted, clearly looking proud of how well Jenna was comforting me. "Jenna says you think I'm scary, but I don't want you to think I'm unapproachable. All Daddies are teddy bears at heart. We have to be like that to take care of our Littles. So if you ever need a friend to talk to, I'm here."