Page 56 of This Blood That Breaks Us (This Blood That Binds Us, #3)

Forty-Seven

Zach

Fuck this place. They wanted to see a lunatic? I’d give them one. They wanted to keep me here? Fine. But I was tired of being a pawn. I was tired of being controlled.

I knew where I was going the moment I got up off the ground. No one feared me. Their mistake. I wasn’t surprised. The only people who knew me were already gone. Lost to Her. Well fuck that and fuck Her.

There was a carton of gasoline in the flower garden shed. I had half a mind to set the whole garden on fire and the castle with it, but they’d catch on too quickly for that. I had another place in mind. After snagging a bottle of liquor from The Underground, I made a beeline for the old church.

The grass was wet with dew as I made my way across the field. It left my shoes and pant legs soaked and my feet freezing. The moon mocked me, and I flipped off the stars as I swallowed a mouthful of liquor.

A singular light in the bell tower of the old church shone. That same light that was always on taunted me. The gasoline sloshed next to my side as I picked up my pace. Wind kicked up the salt from the air, and the mist wet my face. At least it wasn’t raining yet.

Her voice found its way to me like a siren at sea. Why are you so angry? This is all your fault.

Could She feel the lighter in my pocket? Did She know I was about to let that place burn? I’d need to hurry. I kicked open the door, and it cracked and fell in a flurry of dust on the floor. I thrust off the cap of gasoline and poured it over the floor. The pews. The walls. The stairs. I smiled as I drenched that stupid fucking mural. Her blood melted into a concoction of black and gray paint at my feet.

She called to me again. You keep holding on.

How was this for letting go? This whole building was a lie. I stood at the doorframe. The smell of dry wood soaked with gasoline burned my eyes as I reached into my pocket for my lighter.

You’re causing your own problems. Wallowing in your own guilt won’t help you. You need to accept this. This is the person you need to be. Let go, Darling. Let the anger take you.

The edges of my lips curled into a smile. Careful what you wish for.

I struck the lighter and flicked it a few feet in front of me.

The floor turned into flames, and I stumbled back as the heat flooded my senses. For the first time in months, the warmth carved its way into my body again. The weight brought me to my knees as I stared up at the cracked and burned wood. Flames raged in a cascading inferno that reached up into the night sky.

There would be no saving this place. It would be ash in minutes. I smiled and grabbed the liquor bottle next to me and chugged every last drop. Nothing could touch me.

They’d come soon to stop the fire from spreading. To stop me.

A small chuckle escaped me and kept turning in my stomach until it was a roaring laughter that echoed the sound of the fire. The laughter burned my ribs, but I couldn’t stop. The image of Ezra’s disappointed face was enough to keep it bubbling up from nothing.

I would make their eternity hell like mine.

The failed prodigal son.

Aren’t you proud?

My little pyro heart wasn’t done. When everyone was all up in arms about their precious building, the hedges would look so nice burning next to it. I left my empty bottle and took what was left of the gasoline and skipped my way to the entrance of the labyrinth. Taking only a moment to admire the tall hedges that were kept for years, I doused the entrance with gasoline.

Sorry, I guess today isn’t your lucky day either. That’s when I had the best idea I’d had all day. What if I trapped myself in the middle of the maze? Would their precious fate save me from the growing flames? Would She come running, or would I perish, proving this was one big game? There was only one way to find out.

I grabbed the matches I’d stuffed in one of my shoes and dropped it in the gasoline pail before kicking it under the nearest hedge. A smile crept to my face. I pushed farther into the maze, staggering on my feet. My drunken haze left me giddy as I danced my way through the bushes. The mist was thick, and the night swallowed all the light. Except for that roaring fire that consumed the hedges behind me. Each passing second, the fire bit at the edges of my clothes.

I finally reached the center and fell to my knees at the foot of the statue. I touched one of the marble wings as the flames grew higher around me.

The hysterical laughter came back to me. It was all so fucking funny. They would be so angry.

I don’t know how long it took Ezra and Sirius to find me in the maze. I was hot. That I knew.

“What are you doing?!” I swore Ezra had said, but the fire was roaring.

I refused to stand and chose to be dragged. And they did. Grabbing each arm, they dragged me through the mud and ash. I could see nothing. I felt nothing. Not the tug on my arms or the burn in my calves from the grass.

When we were free of the maze, Ezra stood me up. I thought for sure he’d beat me to a bloody pulp, but he grabbed my face in his hands again to stare at me directly. “Are you all right?”

Genuine concern for me as a person? Not likely. He didn’t see me that way. I was more like a toy. Didn’t he know the favorite toy always gets broken?

Lightning lit up the hills in the distance; the fucking fates couldn’t let me have this one thing. Men ran all over the yard in their attempts to extinguish the burning wood of the church. I wiped a few drops of rain that landed on my forehead.

“He needs to go to Her and face punishment.” Sirius grabbed me by the collar.

“Give me a minute with him,” Ezra said.

“That wasn’t Her instruction.” Sirius’s breath was on my face. “You’re lucky She’s so fond of you.”

“If you want to kill me, Sirius, just do it.”

Ezra pulled me out of his reach. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. Is this about Luke?”

He already knew the answer to that question. It was always about Luke. Why was he still trying to make me feel better?

“Get off me.” I pushed him, but after training and a bottle of alcohol, I wasn’t putting up much of a fight.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but things are still adjusting in the bond. He won’t be like that forever. The bond is adjusting. It’s uneven now but—”

“Times up. She wants to see him.”

“Yeah, take me to Her. I want to see Her.”

And for the first time, I really did. Because I wasn’t done with my rampage. I had one problem, and that was Her. Without Her, none of my other problems existed. The answer was simple. I needed Her gone. I needed Her dead.

“Fine.”

Ezra and Sirius escorted me through the halls that were oddly empty. I laughed again, thinking of them all having to clean up my mess outside. Also at the fact that the two sworn guards were taking me straight to the queen that would soon meet Her very timely demise. Did they not expect me to hurt Her? How childish.