Page 51 of This Blood That Breaks Us (This Blood That Binds Us, #3)

Forty-Three

Zach

The sun was almost up when I snuck into my room. The night, though fun, hadn’t made me forget about Her in the slightest. I’d been itching to get home and see Her. Not that I’d ever tell Her that. She probably knew though. She was in my head. I wondered what it meant. Could She hear my thoughts? Was it a one-way street? She seemed able to tell what I was doing, which made it that much more enjoyable to piss Her off.

When I opened my bedroom door, a dark figure was sitting next to the fireplace. Will was alone and waiting.

“Someone let you out of your cage?”

“Where the fuck were you?” He was instantly on his feet.

“Should you really be asking me that? Remember, I’m the chosen one.”

“Fuck you. Tell me.”

“I was fucking a girl. Happy?” Happy. What a strange word.

Will covered his face with his hands and sighed. “You weren’t with Luke?”

“Uh, fuck no. I wasn’t with Luke.”

William stared at me with a clenched jaw, like he was trying to gather what to say and simultaneously set me on fire. I wasn’t in the mood.

“Will you tell me what you want to tell me so I can get on with my day?”

“You don’t feel that?”

“Feel what?”

He grabbed my collar and forced me up against the wall, paintings fell and cracked in their frames.

“Careful,” I hissed. I felt hollow and numb. Like if Will pushed me a little too hard, I might tear his head off.

He shook me, and I let him.

“You didn’t feel anything? I pulled this out of the laundry.”

He revealed a shirt. Luke’s shirt from yesterday that was crumpled into a pile. The thick scent of blood coated the entire thing.

“So?”

He slammed me harder into the wall, and I grabbed his collar, snapping the buttons close to his neck. A flash of heat trembled in my fingers. I wanted to gut him for touching me that way, but I let him speak.

“You are going to ruin your life if you don’t snap out of it. Listen to me.”

“Snap out of what? This is me.”

“Do you think you’re special? That you’re some ‘chosen one.’ They’re brainwashing you to be their perfect little lap dog, and you’re letting it happen.”

I pushed him and he pushed me.

“Don’t grab me again or I’ll—”

“Oh, you still feel anger, huh? Well, how about this. You left Luke last night, and he’s fucking miserable, and he has no one to help him.”

“Luke is an adult. He doesn’t need me to help him.”

“No. Of course not. Good thing he spent all that time taking care of all of you for you to abandon him in his time of need. I guess that’s your destiny. The twin that fucks over his brother when things get a little too hard, is that what you want to be known for?”

“I’m not my brother’s keeper.”

“That’s your life motto, you jackass.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I do! I know you because you’re exactly like me. The only difference is that everyone I love is dead. But everyone you care about is still here and you are going to fuck it up if you don’t snap out of whatever this is. I felt something last night that was the worst the pain from the bond has ever been, and then when I saw this shirt, I knew Luke was involved.”

Will’s eyes were riddled with quiet desperation.

I thought back on my night and if I’d felt even the tiniest flicker of pain, but all I remembered was the feeling of the girl beneath me and the obsession of wanting to do whatever I could to taste her.

“What could have happened? He’s immortal.”

“You and I both know that there are worse things than death. Surely, you can wrap your head around that. Think about your brother. Let it in. Feel what I feel.”

“The bond is gone. It doesn’t work. I don’t feel anything anymore since last night.”

“Like hell it doesn’t. Focus. Focus on your brother. Not Her.”

He pushed his hand into my chest hard, and I let him. There was nothing. No feeling anywhere in my body other than annoyance of Will pestering me.

“This is ridiculous.”

“Shut up and focus. Do it for Luke.”

I sighed and focused harder as he pressed his palm into my chest till it hurt and I could fight past the numbness. Will’s hand was calloused and cold through the linen of my shirt. I thought of my brother. Of where he was. Of how he felt.

The feeling started to come back. That terrible feeling of being bonded. A pain hit me so sharp in the chest I keeled over. I’d felt it before, but it was never that painful. So penetratingly horrible I felt it in the back of my skull. My eyes stung and my stomach turned. I was going to be sick.

“Oh fuck. What is that?”

“That’s tame compared to what it was last night. It felt like someone was ripping my heart out of my chest.”

Whatever fog I was under before dissipated, and all that was left was my brother’s pain. Something had happened while I was gone. Something bad.

“She lied about the bond. The only thing Ascension changed is you got more blood and they got you both exactly where they wanted you.”

“Why? I don’t get it.”

“Use your head, Calem. If She knows all your most possible futures, She knows the people She needs you to be to serve Her. They’re going to do anything and say anything to get you on their side.”

It was a fact I already knew, but I’d somehow let myself forget.

“The bond is . . . ”

“Something She uses to control you. You can’t trust anything they’ve told you about how this stuff works. Always assume it’s bullshit.”

The nausea grew as the reality set in. Luke needed me, and I’d left him alone at the bar. What was I thinking? The Family knew . . . they knew what I’d do. They used their opportunity to get to my brother.

“It’s happening again. I wasn’t there to protect him and—”

“Feel sorry for yourself later. You have to go to him. He’s with Her.”

“Shit!”

I went for the door and ignored everyone on the way to Her chamber. Including Connell who’d been waiting for me outside the door. They made desperate attempts to bow to me. I stopped before opening Her door. What would I find? I hoped I’d at least see my brother fully clothed.

When I pushed open the queen’s door, I sighed in relief. Luke was clothed but sleeping seemingly peacefully as She pulled Her hands through his hair. Jealousy hit me first. A blow I wasn’t expecting. Her blood was mixed with mine. It wasn’t my reaction. Just the way She wanted me to feel.

I didn’t bow, and barreled toward them until I was standing over them.

“What did you do?”

“It’s nice to see you. I knew you’d come looking.”

“What did you do to him?” I repeated.

“I didn’t do anything. I’ve helped him sleep. Going out to the bar is tiring business. I’ll wake him if you’d like.”

“No. Let him sleep.”

At least he was getting some peace in his sleep. I wondered if he’d even feel the bond when he woke up or if he’d feel that same numbness I had.

“Do you want to join? You look tired.” Her hand grazed the inside of my jacket, and I stumbled toward Her. “Of course, you’ll need to shower first. Filthy business you were up to.”

I stepped back. “No. I’ll wait for him outside.”

She wouldn’t give me answers, and every minute I was with Her alone, I’d lose my resolve.

Suit yourself.

A smirk danced on Her lips. She wanted a reaction out of me, but I wouldn’t give it. Not with my brother so close to Her and Her having all the power.

I let the door shut behind me, leaned against it, then slid to the floor. Pulling a cigarette between my lips and inhaling the smoke was the only relief I had from the tightness in my chest.

I thought the bond was gone, but it was there. Or rather, it was still there for me. What did that mean? I knew one thing. If it wasn’t Her that hurt him and Sirius wasn’t there, it left one person, and I would find him after my brother woke up. I took a long drag of my cigarette and let the smoke fill the air around me. It would give me time to think and stew on how much I hated myself for letting them hurt my brother again.

I needed to find Will too and apologize for being an asshole. And Thane, where the fuck was Thane? I couldn’t move. Not till Luke was up. He’d need someone to be there for him, and I wouldn’t let him down again.

I stared at the wallpaper for what could have been days, but I think it was only a few hours. I don’t know why I thought hell would be fun. It was wishful thinking that I’d get at least one good night out if it. And it had been. I guess that’s the thing about eternal torment, every bit of good is met with twice the bad.

The door opened, and Luke ignored me.

Okay, deserved. He was probably pissed at me for leaving him.

I caught up to him quickly. “Luke, talk to me. What happened at the bar? Are you okay?”

His brows drew together, and his shoulders went rigid. “Nothing happened. I feel fine. Is there something wrong with you?”

“Bullshit. What about the blood all over your shirt?”

“What blood? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She wiped his memory of it. I wasn’t sure what shocked me more, that or the fact that even when he didn’t remember what happened, the pain was still there. All under the surface waiting to be felt and shared.

“When I left early with a girl. What did you do?”

“I went home. That was it.”

I stared at him for a moment. It was bad. It was really bad. How much did she take? Why?

“What about the girl? The one who looked like Sarah, what happened there?”

“Who is Sarah?”

My blood ran cold. Of course. Of fucking course. Sarah. She took the memory of Sarah. Something happened to Luke last night, and that something had to be so terrible he’d went to Her for help. My head spun. Why Sarah?

“No one. Sorry. You’re feeling okay, though? You’re not sad about . . . missing our brothers or anything, right?”

“Why would I be?”

Okay, he remembered them. It was a good sign, but there was something off about his entire demeanor. He was giving me major fuck off eyes. If She’d taken the memory of Sarah from his life completely, that meant She took a lot. So much of Luke’s childhood was wrapped up in Sarah, and all of the things he enjoyed and wanted to do. If the queen took all of that away, then that meant She took a lot of his pain. The pain of Sarah’s death. The thing that pushed us both forward and reminded us of who the queen really was despite the draw of Her blood.

The look he gave the girl at the bar . . .

He’d held on. He probably went up to her and talked with her, danced with her. Luke would never give up Sarah, but She might make him want to. She’d want him to forget. Was this Her plan all along?

“Just curious, because I feel like shit.”

“Well, that’s on you. I feel great. I really have to go. I’ve got things to attend to. Now move.”

“Gladly.”

He turned and left me in the hallway with an aching chest.

We were fucked.