Page 82 of The Primal of Blood and Bone (Blood and Ash #6)

POPPY

“We need to talk about the Ascended,” Kieran announced as I set my concerns aside and refocused. “And what is to be done with them.”

For a brief moment, I was pleased with the change of subject, but it didn’t last long. To be honest, discussing the Ascended felt more difficult than talking about war plans.

Because I knew what had to be done.

Casteel watched me as I took a drink of the sweet wine that suddenly tasted sour. “They have to be dealt with.”

I set my glass down and took a breath. “What of the ones who had no stockpiles of blood? We don’t know why that is.”

“We don’t,” Kieran said. “And that’s on us. We should’ve looked into it. But, Poppy, they likely just ran out.”

“I’ve seen many Ascended in bloodlust brought on by not feeding. They turn Craven.” Casteel’s fingers tapped his glass. “I’ve never come across an Ascended who didn’t feed—couldn’t—and retained any semblance of sanity.”

And he would know. He’d seen it happen while Isbeth held him captive the first time.

I asked myself again if the Ascended could go without blood, but the vadentia was still silent.

What I did know was that no one had ever spoken of Ascended who lived without blood and did not turn Craven.

Still, a heaviness settled on my chest. I knew what had to be done, but that didn’t change the fact that…killing every single Ascended didn’t sit right with me.

And, gods, wasn’t that absurd?

Because if Isbeth had harmed Casteel? My gaze fell on the hand she’d taken the finger from.

If she had harmed him more than she already had?

If she had killed him? I would’ve destroyed every Ascended and not thought twice about it.

So, what was the difference now? Was the essence of life rebelling against the idea of so much death?

And it was death because, despite what anyone—including me—thought of the Ascended, they still lived.

Casteel laid his hand on my arm. “I know there’s a lot going on in your head. Talk to us.”

“I’m…I don’t know how I ended up being the one making these decisions,” I said. “I’m not prepared for this.”

“I don’t think many who find themselves in your position are ever truly prepared, despite the training they may have had,” Kieran said, sounding wise as usual.

I dragged my foot against the stone floor and forced myself to stay seated instead of moving about.

Casteel moved his hand to mine, stilling my fingers. Only then did I realize I had been twisting the edge of the napkin. My eyes lifted to his.

“They are not Ian,” he said softly.

Air fled my lungs, and my heart twisted.

Gods, was that it? Was that why I was having such a hard time coming to a decision?

When I thought of the Ascended, were my first thoughts not about all the terrible things they’d done but about Ian?

Was it the hope that he had somehow been different from all the Ascended I knew?

Because if some Ascended were different, then that meant Ian could’ve still been the person I knew and loved.

Gods. I was sure Vikter had said something once about clinging to knowledge based purely on one’s foolish wishes. And it was foolish. The Ascended weren’t Ian.

In truth, the moment Ian Ascended, I no longer knew who he was. And if I let that guide my thoughts now, I would be endangering both mortals and Atlantians.

I took a deep breath. “We cannot save them,” I said hoarsely. “The best we can do is prevent others from suffering their fate.”

Surprise flickered across Casteel’s face. “You sure you’re okay with that?”

“I’m not.” I cleared my throat. “But I don’t think doing what is right always feels good.”

“It doesn’t.” Kieran cocked his head. “And that sounded incredibly…adult of you.”

I pinned him with a dry-as-the-Wastelands look. “How…how will we go about it?”

“There are ways to do it without causing pain or making it a spectacle.” Casteel squeezed my hand. “That’s how we prove we’re different from the Blood Crown.”

Recalling how they loved making an example with public executions, I nodded. “Good.” Picking up my glass, I took a drink to ease the knot in my throat. “It should be done quietly.”

Kieran exchanged a look with Casteel. “I can put together a group of those best suited to carry it out—”

“No.”

They turned to me.

“ We are making this choice,” I said, my hand curling into a fist. “We won’t ask others to carry out the orders.”

“Poppy.” Casteel’s hand tightened around mine. “You don’t need that on your—”

“On my what? My soul?” I interrupted. “Then why would I want it darkening someone else’s? Because it would. It should . I won’t allow another to take my place. None of us will.”

His jaw tensed and then loosened. “You’re right.”

I took another deep breath. I had to do what I knew Casteel and Kieran were so good at.

What many who’d been in my position had done before.

It wasn’t about not caring. Though I knew neither Kieran nor Casteel would be all that torn up, even though I also knew seeing to the end of so many Ascended wouldn’t be a walk in the park for them.

It may not darken their souls, but committing mass annihilation—something that would’ve occurred if Atlantia hadn’t retreated during the War of Two Kings and instead pushed forward—would sure as fuck leave some shadows behind.

I had to compartmentalize.

Because the end of the Ascended was inevitable.

“We need to speak with the generals.” I chased a grape around my plate with my fork. “Once we’re done, we should probably do that.”

“After we finish here, we’re going to the new quarters,” Casteel countered. “And then I’m sure you’ll want to see Tawny.”

My stomach dropped, dread coiling tight.

I felt his gaze on me as he asked, “Correct?”

“Yes,” I answered quickly as I sifted through my thoughts for a reason to explain my reluctance to see her.

The dread. It made no sense. Giving up on the fork, I used my fingers to pick up the grape.

“I do.” And I did, but… I popped the fruit into my mouth and chewed, barely tasting its tartness.

“But we have things we need to take care of first.”

Casteel fell quiet, watching me over the rim of his glass.

I moved on to a sugar-dusted strawberry. “Have any addresses been made to the people?”

“No,” Kieran answered, and I felt that faint charge of eather from them again. “There has been no real point in doing so up to now.”

My brow furrowed. “How do you figure that?”

“Two reasons. One, you were in stasis, and I would not address the people alone.” Casteel leaned toward me, his glass in one hand, and the other finding its way to my leg again.

I looked at him, but he avoided my gaze as his hand drifted up my thigh. “And the second?”

“Unlike with Oak Ambler, the people here are aware of who we are and what we stand for.”

I bit into the strawberry. “I’m not sure I follow your line of thought.”

“It would’ve made sense to address them days ago to reassure them they have nothing to fear from us,” Kieran said. “But given that they have been interacting with Atlantians and wolven daily if not hourly, they know that.”

I thought it over. “And you both think they don’t need further reassurance?”

“I think you and Casteel will need to make a public appearance at some point.” Kieran straightened the knife beside his plate. “Be seen, so it is known that all is well.”

“Really?” Doubt rose. “That’s all?”

“Do you want to give an address?” Casteel questioned.

“Not particularly, but…” I sighed. “I think it would be wise to do so, so they know who we are.”

“They know who you are,” Kieran replied. “And that you’re a god.”

I tensed. “That’s not what I meant.”

He lifted his glass. “I know.”

“Honestly, I would prefer it if they didn’t know that. I don’t want people feeling like they need to treat me like a god.”

“But you are a god,” Kieran pointed out.

Since he’d stated the obvious, I felt I could, too. “So are you.”

He stiffened. “That’s—”

“It’s not different. You are the Advisor to the Crown. Casteel is the King. The three of us are gods. The three of us rule. It is not different.”

Kieran’s eyes narrowed a fraction of an inch. “I’m not sure how we ended up having this conversation or why it matters.”

I rolled my eyes. “Neither of you feels like we should speak about who the Blood Crown truly was?”

“That is being done already,” Casteel stated. “We’ve been having town halls in each neighborhood, using the smaller venues to explain who the Blood Crown was and what the true purpose of the Rites were.”

Surprise washed through me. It never would’ve crossed my mind to do that. “How has that—?” My breath stuttered in my lungs as Casteel’s hand slipped farther up my thigh, one of his fingers a mere inch from where sharp tingles radiated.

He raised his brows, a small smile playing on his lips. “You were saying, my Queen?”

“I was asking how the meetings have been received,” I said.

“There have been many questions, and from what I gathered, a fair amount of denial,” Kieran answered when Casteel looked at him. “But the town halls have been going relatively well. I can request a more detailed report from Perry and Delano. They have been overseeing them.”

“I would like that,” I said, clearing my throat. I felt so out of the loop, almost detached from everything that had happened or had been decided while I was in stasis. “What about curfew? Can that be lifted?”

“While I would like to allow them to regain some normalcy, I’m not sure it would be a good move,” Casteel said after a moment. “The war is not over, and there is a greater threat than the Ascended among us.”

“Plus, some mortals benefited from the Blood Crown’s rule,” Kieran added.

“They won’t wish to deviate from the status quo.

There’s not much we can do to keep them separate from the general public, but we can stop them from attempting to free the Ascended as soon as the sun sets and thus getting themselves killed. ”

That made sense. “Do the people realize there is a greater threat among us?”