Page 47 of The Primal of Blood and Bone (Blood and Ash #6)

Casteel didn’t answer immediately. “For over two weeks.”

My head jerked back as my heart dropped. “Oh, my gods.”

“Yeah,” he breathed, his gaze searching mine.

Panic threatened to take hold as I scooted back and sat down once more. Over two weeks? Anything could’ve happened in that time. “How are the people of Carsodonia handling things? What of the Ascended? The Descenters? Have there—?”

Casteel’s long, soft kiss silenced me, and for a few too-short seconds, all those concerns fell to the wayside. His kisses had that kind of power.

When he pulled away, it took me a moment to form coherent words. “You are really bad at behaving.”

“It’s a work in progress.” He shifted back. “I know you have lots of questions, and I’ll answer each and every one, but before we get into any of that, I need to know how you’re feeling.”

“Uh…”

“I’d prefer if you answered with something more than a sound.”

“I don’t know. I feel fine, but my thoughts are completely scattered,” I told him. “And I think that’s at least partly your fault.”

“Poppy,” he drawled.

“But I do feel fine.”

He palmed my cheek, tilting my head back so our eyes met. “Truthfully?”

“I feel normal for someone who has been asleep for so long and has Ascended to…” The next breath I took got stuck. “I’m a Primal now.”

One eyebrow rose. “Yes, you are a Primal goddess.”

“But I…I feel the same.” My brows knitted as I concentrated on the eather. It wasn’t just a throbbing in my chest. Instead, I could feel it humming through every vein. “The eather does feel stronger, but shouldn’t I feel, I don’t know, supremely badass?”

Those lips of his twitched. “You’re already supremely badass, Poppy.” He kissed the tip of my nose, and there was no mistaking the burst of fresh, earthy relief that swept through him. “But I’m relieved you feel the same as before.”

So was I.

But why?

Had I expected to be different after finishing the Ascension? My frown deepened. I didn’t think so, but as the fog that clouded the edges of my mind continued to dissipate, my stomach twisted sharply as I remembered why.

Cas’s hand moved, slipping under my braid. His fingers curved around the nape of my neck. “What are you thinking?”

“I was thinking about how Nektas said that a Primal god shouldn’t have two essences within them. It seemed like he was concerned with what I could be capable of—”

“He had no reason to be concerned,” Cas quickly interjected. “None at all, Poppy.”

I tried to smile, but I was sure it looked more like a grimace. It went beyond just what Nektas had said. There was the prophecy. And an instinctual part of me knew it was talking about me—or at least some of it was.

“But I didn’t really stop…Isbeth,” I said, proud of how I spoke her name without my voice cracking. “I actually turned out to be the Bringer of Death and Destruction by freeing Kolis, just like the prophecy said.”

“ We didn’t really stop Isbeth,” Cas corrected, his hand tightening around the back of my neck. “And we don’t even know if that is what the prophecy truly means, Poppy. All we have are guesses and interpretations.”

That damn feeling returned; this time accompanied by an actual physical sensation: a faint tingling along the nape of my neck.

There was this…feeling that I knew exactly what the prophecy meant but couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

Frustration sparked. There were all sorts of thoughts floating around, but it was like trying to grasp shadows when I focused on them.

His hand left my neck. “Okay?”

I pressed my lips together and nodded as my gaze flickered over the chamber’s ivory walls. I drew in a deep breath. “Speaking of Kolis…”

Every part of him tensed, and the essence flared in his eyes. “Let’s not go there yet.”

“How can we not?” I countered. “According to Nektas, it’s up to us to deal with him—the true Primal of Death. While I was napping for an eternity, he’s been out there somewhere, doing only the gods know what. And we know so little about him—what he wants or even what his motivations are.”

“I know, but like you said, you’ve been napping for what felt like an eternity. You need to get some food in you.” Cas swung his legs off the bed and stood. “Thirsty?”

Was I? My gaze dropped to his half-unbuttoned breeches and the thick ridge of his arousal straining against the supple doeskin. The fact that he was still semi-hard was rather impressive. “Yes,” I said in a husky voice I barely recognized.

“I wasn’t asking if you were thirsty for my cock,” he remarked.

My mouth dropped open.

“I was talking about water or juice. Perhaps some tea?”

My face flamed with heat as I forced my stare northward, taking in the tightly packed muscles of his abdomen and chest—

The breath I took lodged in my throat. Next to his wedding ring, there was an inch-and-a-half scar just above his heart. It was pinker than the paler, long-healed scars. Fresher.

My heart kicked against my ribs. “Your—”

“You can have my dick later,” Cas continued. “Patience is a virtue rewarded with unvirtuous acts.”

Oh, my gods.

As he started to step away from the bed, I snapped forward and grasped his arm.

“My Queen,” he purred. “I promise. You can have as much of my—”

“Shut up.” I moved onto my knees again.

Cas’s brows shot up.

“Your chest!” I practically shouted. “I’m talking about your chest. I know that scar is new, and I know whatever happened had to be something serious to leave a mark.” My hands trembling, I placed my fingers just under the jagged bit of skin, lifting my gaze to his. “What happened?”

He exhaled heavily. “It happened when you were in stasis, and I fell asleep,” he said after a moment. “A Rev got into the room—scaled the damn wall and came through the window. He had a blade carved from bone. Burned my skin on contact.”

I knew the scar on his chest wasn’t from a burn.

Anger flared hotly in my chest, stirring the essence.

“He stabbed—” I sucked in another breath.

“He did stab you. I think I felt it or…or sensed it.” Frowning, I tried to understand what I was remembering.

“I know I felt your pain, and I tried to wake up to help you, but I couldn’t—”

“You did, Poppy.” One of his hands dropped to my arm. “Even asleep, you lent me your power and healed me.”

It took me a moment to understand how that was possible. “The Joining.”

Cas nodded.

Thank the gods. A shudder of relief swept through me but was quickly followed by a cold punch of terror in response to how close he’d come to death.

“I’m okay,” he assured me, cupping my cheek with his other hand. He tilted my head back. “You didn’t lose me.”

I knew that, obviously. But, my gods, if we hadn’t gone through with the Joining, Cas wouldn’t be here. I would’ve lost him.

“You saved me, even at great cost to yourself.” He let out a heavy breath and slid his hand down my arm, leaving a wake of tingles behind. “Healing me put you further into stasis. If you hadn’t done that, you likely would’ve woken earlier. I’m sorry, Poppy.”

Why was he apologizing? “Cas—”

“I should’ve been prepared for something like that to happen.

For fuck’s sake, we are in the heart of enemy territory.

I shouldn’t have let my guard down.” His lashes lowered, and the sour taste of guilt filled my throat.

“If I hadn’t, that damn Rev never would’ve gotten close to you.

He wouldn’t have gotten the upper hand on me.

But I wasn’t prepared, and none of us…” He shook his head.

“Not Kieran, you, and especially not me, stopped to think about what the Joining really meant for you. How it could impact you.”

There was no mistaking the remorse and regret in his voice, but it wasn’t just his words that made my heart ache. It was how his hand trembled against my cheek. “What happened wasn’t your fault,” I told him. “And I’m fine.”

A muscle flexed along his jaw. “Do I need to remind you that you’ve been in stasis?”

“No.” I searched his features, wanting to smooth away the crease between his brows. “Do you regret the Joining?”

“No, of course not.” He tightened his hold on my wrist, not letting me pull farther away. “I don’t regret it. I could never regret that. But I can’t say I’m happy now that I realize what it means for you. Neither is Kieran—”

“What if it was the other way around?” I cut in. “What if your power saved me—healed me or Kieran?” I frowned. “And where is Kieran? I thought…” I thought he’d be here.

“He’s likely asleep.”

Surprise flickered through me. I would’ve thought he’d be sleeping in here, but I refocused on the issue at hand. “Would you be displeased to discover that doing so would temporarily weaken you?”

His frown said he thought that was the silliest question known to mortals and gods. “No. Absolutely not. I’d be fucking relieved.”

I lifted my brows, waiting for him to get it.

He stayed silent, so I guessed he didn’t.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “I’m glad you feel that way because that’s exactly how I feel.”

“It’s—”

“Don’t say it’s different because it’s not.”

That muscle along his jaw flexed again. “You’re right.”

I wasn’t sure if he truly believed that. “This was the purpose of the Joining, was it not?”

“It was.” He lifted my hand from his chest and kissed the center of my palm. “But knowing that it harmed you—even temporarily—kills me, Poppy.”

“I know. I would feel the same way. But there is no cost I’m not willing to pay when it comes to you.”

A ragged sound left Cas. He bent at the waist, and then his mouth was on mine, lips soft, gentle, and hungry all at once.

He kissed me, taking his time as if it were the first time he was doing so and was seeking to brand the feel of my lips upon him.

It was a different sort of kiss—a wrecking kind full of so much.

Love. Relief. The sweetness of it brought a wave of tears to my eyes.

I felt a little dizzy when he pulled back.