Page 190 of The Primal of Blood and Bone (Blood and Ash #6)

POPPY

The moment Attes and I shadowstepped into Pensdurth, I knew I was surrounded by Death.

I felt it in the bitter dryness clinging to the unnaturally cold air and seeping through my clothing, leaving my skin feeling like it was coated in slime.

It was also in the oppressive heaviness of the air.

I could see it in the chalky gray grass, the bare branches that framed the road leading to Seacliffe Manor’s entrance, and the dark, gray clouds tinged in crimson.

I could also smell it in the stench of stale lilacs that had replaced the briny scent of the sea.

I heard it in the utter absence of life and the unnerving silence of the city.

Death.

Kolis.

I looked behind me. The inner Rise was tall, but Seacliffe Manor sat on a bluff overlooking Pensdurth.

No one was on the Rise. Or in the streets.

I saw no horses or livestock of any kind, and everything was gray and washed out for as far as I could see: the rocky hills leading up to the bluff, the tall, reedy grass of the meadows surrounding the inlet that led to the Bay of Pensdurth… Everything was dead.

My gaze drifted over the ships filling the bay.

They loomed like phantoms, their sails slack in the still waters.

I started to turn when something in the water caught my attention.

I squinted. Even with my improved vision, it was hard to make out what I was seeing.

There were lots of shapes—bloated, floating…

Oh, my gods.

They were bodies.

Hundreds of them.

I jerked back, horror clamping down on my chest. Sucking in a sharp breath, I quickly turned away. My eyes clashed with Attes’s.

His jaw was tight. “You will likely see worse than that.”

Swallowing the bile threatening to choke me, I looked at Seacliffe. I can handle this. I’ve seen horrors before . “Great.”

Attes followed my stare. “You ready for this? To do what it will take to get close to him?”

Something like this can’t be okay.

I did what I’d been doing from the moment the thing that called herself Isbeth had shown and delivered the summons. I didn’t give myself a chance to think as I faced him. “Yes.”

His gaze returned to me. “Your mind isn’t on your husband?”

“My mind is always on him.” I adjusted the sleeve, making sure the bone dagger was hidden. “But he’s not my focus right now.”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment. “You do realize he’s going to show up here.”

“He won’t.”

“Penellaphe—”

“Poppy,” I said. “And he won’t. I made sure of it.”

Surprise flickered over his features, tugging the skin around his scar. “What did you do?”

“Made a deal with a Fate.”

His eyes narrowed slightly. “That likely wasn’t wise.”

“It probably wasn’t,” I admitted, then turned and started to walk away. We had a bit of distance to go. And, of course, it was mostly uphill. It had to be noon. Technically, we were here, so Kolis would just have to deal with it…for the short period he had left to breathe.

“Hold up.” Attes stopped me. “I need you to understand something I didn’t get a chance to say yesterday.”

I bit down on the inside of my lip, unsure if I wanted to hear this because Casteel’s words immediately whispered through my mind.

Attes stepped in closer, lowering his voice. “I made Sera a promise that I would do everything in my power to not allow any harm to befall you.”

My breath caught. “Did she ask that of you?”

“She did, but she didn’t need to. I know how important you are to her and Nyktos.”

“They don’t know me,” I blurted, feeling my cheeks warm. “I mean, I know I’m important to them—to the realm—”

“Your importance to them has nothing to do with any of this,” he cut in, his eyes narrowing. “You’re of their blood. That is all that matters to them.”

A sudden tightness bloomed in my throat. I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I nodded.

Attes’s mouth opened and then closed as he eyed me. His stare was nearly as intense as Casteel’s. “Look, I don’t know much about your relationship with them, but since I know they just woke, there probably isn’t much of one.”

A choked-sounding laugh left me. “I barely know them.”

“Well, they would like to get to know you,” he said.

Seraphena had said pretty much the same, yet hearing it still surprised me. I wasn’t sure why since Seraphena seemed to care for me. Actually, that wasn’t true. “I know they did everything they could to prevent me from being born.”

“They did,” he said, not mincing words. “But that doesn’t mean they aren’t grateful you were.”

Looking toward the manor, I clenched my jaw to stop my lower lip from trembling. Hearing that filled my chest with warmth and what felt a lot like hope. No one would ever replace Leopold, Coralena, Ian, or Vikter, but I wanted a family—I wanted that connection.

“Can I tell you something?” Attes said quietly, and I nodded again.

“Seraphena didn’t want you to be born because she didn’t want this for you.

I know that doesn’t change shit, but she never wanted you to be in this situation, and if she could, she would take your place.

So would Nyktos. Neither wanted this for you. ”

Something like this couldn’t be okay.

I sucked in a ragged breath and blinked rapidly against the dampness in my eyes.

“Fuck,” Attes grunted. “Now I’ve gone and upset you. That wasn’t my intention. I’m—”

“I know.” I cleared the hoarseness from my throat. “It’s okay.”

Attes looked like he didn’t believe me for one second. He exhaled heavily. A moment passed. “Either way, if things start to go south in there.” He jerked his chin toward the manor. “We get out. You don’t fight me. Understand?”

Drawing in a deep breath, I exhaled slowly. “I do.” I turned quickly. “We should probably get moving.”

Attes quickly caught up with me. “I’m serious about what I just said.”

“I know.” And I did.

But I also knew that if things went south—if I failed somehow—there would likely be no escape. And even if there was, it wasn’t in me to run. Especially not when running meant leading Kolis right back to those I would die to protect.

A breeze lifted a shorter strand of my hair, carrying another scent that turned my stomach as it joined the stale lilacs. “But it’s worth whatever favor I may need to repay.”

Attes was quiet for several moments as we walked. “For your sake, I hope it is.”

“It is,” I stated.

“And his,” he added.

My fingers curled inward. I hadn’t been lying when I said Casteel wasn’t my focus right now.

I could compartmentalize. I would’ve been able to, even if I hadn’t seen him before I left.

But talking about him wasn’t helping. Especially with Attes, his great-grandfather, who may or may not have been in love with a much, much older and different version of me.

Gods, I had so many questions about all of that. Not the love part, just everything else.

I peeked over at him, then quickly looked away when his head started to turn. I clamped my mouth shut. Now wasn’t the time to walk down forgotten memory lane.

“What?” Attes asked.

“Nothing.”

“You want to say something,” he replied as he ran a hand over one of the daggers strapped to his chest.

“Are those daggers made of Ancient bone?”

He frowned. “One is. There’s not enough of that bone to go around for more.” He paused. “And I seriously doubt that’s what you wanted to ask.”

“How would you know?”

He went silent, dropping his hand.

“Because you know me—or knew me? Or, at least, a version of me, I guess.” My lips pursed as we walked under some bare branches that rubbed together like dry bones. “Gods, that sounds weird to say out loud.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “You remember nothing about that time? I know there was a chance you did as a child.”

“I could’ve remembered much more as a child, but anyone I could ask is dead.” Except for Millicent. She had been around when I was young. “I only remember bits—like seeing your face, flashes of other people, and…other things.”

“Other things?”

“Yes.” I could feel his stare on me. “How did we know each other?”

“Not sure if this is the time for that.”

“What better time is there?”

“Literally any other time,” he replied wryly.

I sighed. “Whatever.”

The breeze picked up, and the scent increased. It wasn’t just a sweeter smell. It was sickly-sweet with a metallic tinge. I had a feeling I knew what it was.

“I met you—I mean, Sotoria—when Kolis brought her back the first time,” he said, and my gaze cut to him. “He…trusted others to be around her then. To guard her when he couldn’t.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. Then I laughed. It sounded harsh. What did I say to that? Where did I start? “And you were one of those guards?”

“I was.” He sighed heavily. “We became acquainted.”

“And you didn’t see anything wrong with what Kolis was doing?” I asked before I could stop myself. “While you were becoming acquainted?”

A muscle ticked in his temple. “I never said that.”

“Then why didn’t you do something?” I demanded.

His silver eyes flashed to mine. “I never said I didn’t.”

I stared at him, my gaze traveling over too-familiar features and lingering on the scar. What came out of my mouth was something I’d never thought to ask. “How did you get that scar?”

“How did you get yours?”

“Craven,” I answered. “I was a child when my father and…when the people I was with were attacked.”

“Your father?”

“The man I believed was my father.” The smell was getting stronger. It smelled rotten. “Leopold and—” Attes’s loud cough drew my gaze. “You okay?”

Attes coughed loudly, drawing my gaze, then blinked rapidly.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he croaked. “Inhaled wrong.”

“Primal gods can inhale wrong?”

He cleared his throat, blinking rapidly. “You still can, right?”

I wisely kept my mouth shut because, knowing my luck, I was seconds away from choking on a gnat.

“What did you say his name was?” he asked.

“Leopold.” I frowned at him. “Why?”

“Just wasn’t sure if I heard the name right.”