Page 160 of The Primal of Blood and Bone (Blood and Ash #6)

I hadn’t considered testing it out. But now that I’d said it, I kind of was. My heart rate kicked up. I could almost see myself doing it—choosing to leap. My stomach flipped, and I forced myself to take a step back.

Birds sang in lilting bursts as silence fell between Casteel and me. I could feel the heat of his body directly behind me now. That was how close he stood. I wanted to turn into it, but I couldn’t move.

Casteel hadn’t really touched me since Ironspire.

He hadn’t woken me when he returned last night, and he had already been gone from bed this morning—and Casteel always needed convincing to leave a bed I was in.

He wasn’t even touching me now, and it seemed he was always touching some part of me. This wasn’t normal.

The next breath I took was thinner, and the silence that stretched between us didn’t help. I searched for something to say. Luckily, I found it. “How did your talk with Malik go?”

“About as well as it would have if he was telling me not to go to Pensdurth if I thought you were there,” he said. “But he’s staying put.”

The for now went unsaid.

I ran the tips of my fangs over my lower lip. “If we find out Millicent’s there, it doesn’t mean she’s there willingly.”

“I know.” He paused. “But if we find out she’s there, there will be no stopping Malik.”

I glanced back at him, and our gazes briefly met. “Would you still try to stop him?”

“No,” he admitted after a moment. “I wouldn’t be able to.”

That wasn’t true.

Casteel would definitely be able to stop Malik. The fact that Casteel was powerful enough to will himself to where I was without knowing where it would take him was proof of that. But it was likely already hard enough for him to demand that Malik do something he wouldn’t do himself.

“So, this is where it happened,” Casteel said, jarring me from my thoughts. “Makes sense you’d be curious about the place.”

“It does?”

“Yeah.” He shifted behind me, and I felt his shoulder brush mine.

“I…” Those silly words rose again, but I didn’t stop them. “I thought I would feel something coming here.”

“Feel what?” he asked after a moment.

“I don’t know.” I squinted as I lifted my gaze to the thick, gray clouds. “Sadness? Anger?”

“And you don’t feel that?”

I shook my head. “I should feel relieved that I don’t.”

“You should only feel whatever you feel,” he said, and I peeked over at him. He stood shoulder to shoulder with me, his gaze trained on the lake and elms below. “As long as you let yourself feel.”

“I am.”

His shoulders rose with a deep breath. “No, you’re not.”

Shaking my head, I looked away. “You’re wrong.”

“Tell me how I’m wrong.”

Staring up at the thick clouds, I searched for how to put my feelings into words. “I don’t feel anything right now. Just… numb. But…” I crossed my arms. “I knew where Isbeth kept The Star.”

When Cas didn’t respond, I continued. “It was in Wayfair’s Vault. I forgot about it until yesterday. There are a lot of coins and jewels there, too. More than enough to better the lives of those here,” I added. “We need to use it. All of it.”

“What about The Star?” Casteel asked, glossing over that I’d just told him there was unfathomable wealth stored away.

I exhaled roughly and stepped back. “I didn’t feel anything when I held it.”

“Did you think you would?”

“Shouldn’t I have?” I rubbed my hands over my arms. “If my soul was kept in it for hundreds of years.”

Casteel didn’t respond because, seriously, what could anyone say to that?

I turned to him, my gaze landing on the gold chain around his neck. “I destroyed the diamond. That was how angry I was,” I said. “Not because I felt something while holding it, but because I…”

“Because you what?” he asked quietly.

Something like this can’t be okay.

My eyes closed. “Because I didn’t choose this.”

“Poppy,” he rasped. For a brief moment, what he felt pierced my shields. Rage and sorrow washed over me—raw, intense, and so heavy it felt like my chest might cave in under its weight.

I didn’t want him to feel that.

He stepped toward me, and the prickly feeling returned, crawling across my skin. As the instinct to fight or flee kicked in, I shifted from one foot to the other. I wanted the flight. And I never wanted that—okay, if serpents were involved, then yes. But normally? No. And that irritated me.

Casteel had halted, his features stark and sharp as he locked his eyes on mine. I suddenly realized I had taken a step back.

I swallowed, my throat dry. I knew I needed to say something, but the sudden awareness of a draken somewhere nearby cut through me. I twisted toward the city and then looked up. “A draken is coming.”

“I really don’t care.”

“You should. If a draken is coming here, there’s a reason.” Sensing it was Reaver, I turned to him. “And you know that.”

“Just because you feel a draken doesn’t mean one is coming…” He trailed off as a large, winged shadow glided through the clouds over the Garden District, headed straight for us.

I raised a brow. “You were saying?”

His nostrils flared.

Reaver broke free of the clouds, his purplish-black scales glittering in the fractured sunlight. His wings stretched out as he descended, landing behind a cluster of elms.

“Why do you think he landed there instead of in the meadow?” I asked.

“It’s Reaver,” muttered Casteel. “Does anyone know why he does anything?”

I snorted as I turned and started toward the elms. I’d never been more grateful for Reaver’s impromptu—

I yelped as Casteel appeared in front of me. “Gods!” I shrieked. “Why do you have to do that?”

He smirked at me.

Rolling my eyes, I moved to walk past him, but his hand shot out and wrapped around my arm. My head snapped toward him as the essence pulsed through my veins. I knew he felt it. The eather flared behind his pupils—

Casteel laughed. It wasn’t the shadowy, dangerous one or his smoky, sensual laugh. It was deep and amused.

I drew my head back. “What’s so funny?”

“When I stopped you just now, you sent me a look that said you were a second from either punching or stabbing me.” The dimple I’d been searching for since yesterday winked to life in his right cheek.

“And that amused you?” I demanded. “Wait. Why am I asking? Of course, it did.”

The humor faded from his lips. “This conversation isn’t over.”

I nodded, and he let go. I started walking again, catching sight of Reaver moving through the elms—

He was naked.

“For fuck’s sake,” Casteel muttered as I came to a complete stop with a sigh. “You had clothing with you yesterday.”

“And?” Reaver stopped before us.

As Casteel stood at my side, I kept my eyes north of his waist. His hair hung forward like a veil, shielding his face, but I kept seeing the devastation carved into his features when Jadis refused to travel home with him.

I hadn’t really had a chance to speak with him since, especially considering how supper had gone. “How are you doing?”

“Great.”

I winced at his clipped response, wishing there was something I could say or do. Or perhaps wishing I hadn’t asked the question. “I’m so—”

“You are both needed at Wayfair,” he cut in, his raspy voice low. “Thad has returned.”

CASTEEL

Poppy was quiet as we shadowstepped to the hall beyond Wayfair’s entrance. And she was shielding her emotions. She had been doing that a lot lately.

Once more, I thanked—in other words, cursed—Seraphena for that little piece of advice.

I glanced at Poppy as we walked the long corridor where crimson banners had once covered the windows lining the hall. When I returned to the Solar and found her gone, fear had gripped my heart. I really had thought she’d gone to Pensdurth, even though I tried to convince myself she wouldn’t.

She could be a little reckless, but not like that. Still, there had been a chance. Thank the gods I found her.

I had been trying to give her space, even though it made me feel like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. She needed time to process things without worrying about what I felt.

The moment I’d found her at the Cliffs of Sorrow, I was no longer sure that had been the right move.

My mind flashed to when I woke to finding her standing at that damn window. It hadn’t gone like when she’d asked me to take her—something I now didn’t feel entirely comfortable with because her voice had sounded a lot like right before she ended Lady Hawley.

Fuck, it messed with my head to even consider that it might not have been only Poppy I held that night. That it could’ve also been who she used to be—the part of her that kept drawing her to the window and the damn Cliffs. My jaw clenched as we entered the Hall of Gods.

Hisa was waiting for us, standing at the center of the statues with their smooth, featureless faces tilted up to the arched ceiling. Emil and Delano stood behind her, decked out in knee-length, dark-gray tunics similar to the ones Naill had dropped off for me.

“This way,” the commander requested.

I glanced at Poppy. She was staring at the vases between the statues, now filled with some kind of brightly colored wildflowers, and then to the corridor leading to the Great Hall. The two ruby statues honoring the Blood Queen and King had been removed, thank fuck.

Emil and Delano fell into step behind us as we crossed under the rounded entryway of the atrium—the very active atrium. Realizing that this was the first time many of them were seeing Poppy, their Queen, I edged closer to her.

Guards stood at attention as we entered, their postures rigid as they inclined their heads. They had gotten the message not to bow. The mortals? Another story.

Servants rushed alone and in pairs through the large, circular chamber, some carrying empty trays and others freshly washed laundry. They all ground to a halt when they caught sight of us. Quietly spoken conversations ceased, smiles froze, and the eyes of both young and old grew wide.