Page 109 of The Primal of Blood and Bone (Blood and Ash #6)

POPPY

“Poppy?”

I jerked, tearing my gaze from the glass wall of the bedchamber. I hadn’t heard Casteel—his annoyingly quiet footsteps didn’t help. Who knew how long he’d been standing there? It looked like it had been more than a few seconds since he was leaning against the doorframe.

“You all right?”

“Yes.” At least, I thought so. After eating a late lunch with Casteel, I’d left the dining chamber to wash my hands. I didn’t know why I’d come to this window to stare at the Cliffs.

Again.

“You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I met his gaze. “You look quite handsome yourself.”

“Handsome?” He crossed his arms. “That’s all?”

“Mm-hmm.” Truthfully, he was absolutely stunning. Something I was sure he was well aware of. “What do we have planned for today?”

“Nothing at the moment.”

The essence inside me hummed stronger. “I can’t sit around and do nothing.”

“Why? Because you’ll likely try to shadowstep to Pensdurth?”

“No,” I denied.

His brows arched. “Poppy…”

“I won’t,” I said with a sigh. “I told you I wouldn’t.”

He was quiet for several moments. “We won’t be sitting around all day. We’re supposed to start training this evening.”

That was right. I’d forgotten.

His gaze swept over me as he drew his lower lip between his teeth, showing me a hint of fang. “But I can think of a few things to occupy the time between now and then.”

I kept my expression blank, even as heat curled through me. “Can you think of something more productive than what you have in mind?”

“Oh, what I have in mind is quite productive.”

“Uh-huh.” Passing my boots, I walked to the table before the sofa and picked up my thigh harness. “There is something we can do.”

He turned toward me. “Hopefully, it involves less clothes or none at all. But since you’re putting on a harness, I’m guessing it doesn’t.”

“You would be correct.” I secured the straps as I eyed the daggers I’d set out earlier—one shadowstone, the other the still-wrapped bloodstone blade. “We could start on our…plans for the Ascended.”

“You’re that eager to get started?”

“Absolutely not. But I’d rather get it over with.”

“I get that. But Kieran’s not here.”

Relief swept through me. I did want to get it over with, but I also wanted to delay it.

“Is there a reason you grabbed the shadowstone dagger and not yours?”

“Yeah.” My gaze fell to the wrapped bundle. “Ever since I learned how it was made…that the hilt was crafted from Preela’s bones?” A shudder ran through me. “I can’t look at it the same. Nor after seeing it strike down Delano.”

Casteel was quiet for a moment. “That’s understandable.”

“I was thinking about giving it to Delano.” I glanced over at Casteel. “Unless you think that would hurt him.”

“I don’t think it would, but Vikter gave it to you. It means something to you.”

“It does— did . But it belongs to him.” I rubbed my palms over my knees. “Even if he doesn’t want it, I won’t use it again.”

Casteel stayed silent, watching me in an intense, piercing way that made me want to squirm.

I continued dragging my palms over my bent knees. “Speaking of Kieran, I’m surprised he didn’t join us for lunch.”

“He’s likely busy with the generals.” A brief grin appeared.

There was no hesitation in his answer, and it made sense, but plenty of others could’ve handled those tasks.

“Or perhaps with Helenea,” he added.

Curiosity sparked. “You think?”

“No.” He laughed.

My lips pursed. “She was staring at him a lot.”

“I noticed.”

“Do you think he noticed?”

“Probably not.”

I watched him from the corner of my eye. “She’s really pretty.”

“She is, but it takes more than that to catch Kieran’s attention and keep it.”

Poking at a fang with my tongue, I nodded and looped my arms around my knees. “It’s odd,” I said after a moment, keeping my tone light. “Kieran being with the generals.”

A single brow rose. “Is it?”

“Yes. He’s the Advisor to the Crown. He should be here, not out with the generals,” I reasoned. “And he’s also your closest…” Friend didn’t seem like a strong enough term for what Kieran was to him—or us.

“Closest…?”

“Closest whatever.” I shrugged. “What is going on between you two?”

“The answer is the same as the last time you asked.” His head tilted. “But I can tell you don’t believe that.”

I twisted my fingers together, hating that he was right. “I don’t.”

Casteel stared at me for a moment and then laughed. I immediately tensed at the sound of it. It was dry. Cutting. “You don’t trust me?” He pushed off the frame. “Shocker.”

“Wait. What?” I watched him turn. “I didn’t say that.”

“You’re right. You didn’t say that.” He walked into the dining chamber. “You don’t trust what I’m saying. Apparently, there’s a big difference between the two.”

“There is.” Jumping to my feet, I followed him. “There’s a huge difference.”

Casteel humphed as he stopped in front of the credenza, and the deep, closed-lip sound turned a dial deep inside me straight to bitch.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded. “The noise you just made.”

He picked up a bottle. “What noise?”

My eyes doubled in size. “The noise you just made, Casteel.”

“I think I was clearing my throat.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Language,” he said softly, glancing over his shoulder at me. “It’s unbecoming of a lady.”

I was struck speechless for several moments. “I’m about to show you just how unbecoming I can be.”

“Now, don’t go threatening me with a good time,” he remarked, pouring liquid into a glass. “Drink?”

“No.” I took a deep breath and counted to ten. I made it to four. “You made a humph sound. That wasn’t a clearing-your-throat sound.”

Facing me, he cocked his head. “Are you sure?” He cleared his throat. “They sound the same to me.”

I just stared at him. “They do not—”

Casteel cleared his throat again.

“Okay, they do sound similar,” I admitted, “but that was not what you were doing.”

Watching me, he sipped the drink. “Are we really arguing over a humphing sound?”

“Yes. No!” Exasperated, I threw up my hands. “No. We’re talking about the fact that you’re not being honest with me.”

Essence flashed behind his pupils, and his jaw flexed. There was a moment—a very quick second—where I sensed his anger and something else beneath it. But it was gone too quickly. His walls went right back up.

“There are very few things I haven’t been forthcoming with you about, Poppy,” he said, the eather dimming in his eyes. “I hope you can say the same.”

My mouth opened, and I took a step back. “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say to that. Only a few things you haven’t been honest with me about?”

“I said forthcoming.” When I started to speak, he said, “And, yes. There is a difference.”

The look I gave him should’ve set him on fire. “Do you think I can’t say that?”

The tendons of his neck stood out as he swallowed. “I think—”

A knock echoed through the Solar, drawing his gaze. A moment later, Delano called out, “Cas? Poppy?”

I spun toward Casteel. “Don’t—”

He stepped around me. “Yes?” he said.

“Bastard,” I hissed.

His head swung toward me, his eyes glinting. “Naughty.”

“Don’t act cute.”

“It’s not an act.” Turning away, he walked toward the sitting chamber. “I am cute.”

I stalked behind him. “You are an infuriating, egotistical—”

Delano appeared in the doorway as Casteel stopped in front of me. I bounced off his back with a curse.

He caught my arm before I fell into the chair. “Yes, Delano?” he said.

“There’s—” The wolven’s gaze darted between us. “Are you two…fighting?”

“No.” I yanked my arm free of Casteel’s grasp.

Delano blinked slowly. “You sure?”

“Yes,” I snapped.

Delano glanced at Casteel. “Do I need to hide the weapons?”

My mouth dropped open again.

“Not yet,” Casteel replied smoothly.

“Why would you need to hide the weapons?” I demanded.

Delano’s brows climbed up his forehead. “Is that a trick question?”

“What did you need, Delano?” Casteel cut in before I could make yet another demand.

“You have a visitor.” His gaze returned to mine. “Actually, Poppy does. It’s Tawny.”

My stomach plummeted, taking my anger at Casteel with it. Unease rose in its place. “She’s…here?”

“Yes.” Delano shifted his weight. “As in, she’s waiting in the hallway.”

Casteel stepped forward, partially blocking me. “I’m not sure if now is a good time.”

“I’d have to agree,” Delano murmured. “I’ll tell her—”

“No,” I said, my spine stiffening. “It’s okay.”

Casteel turned, and his pine-and-spice mark brushed against my thoughts. You don’t seem okay.

I took a deep breath. I am. I need to see her. I’m just… I didn’t know. I had no idea why seeing Tawny filled me with such dread, but I needed to get over it. “Let her in, Delano.”

He hesitated for a beat. “Okay.”

“Can you delay her for a couple of minutes?” Casteel asked.

“Sure.” Delano pivoted, strolling off as he said, “I’m sure she would like more time to list all the ways she plans to cut off my balls if I don’t let her in.”

I blinked.

“Poppy.”

Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. “I’m ready to see her. I’m just… I don’t know why I feel this way, but I need to see her. She’s my friend. I need to see my friends.” I let out a little laugh when my stomach dipped again. “It still feels strange to say that word and know it…”

“It, what?”

“That it means something.” Warmth crept into my cheeks. “I know that sounds silly.”

“It doesn’t.” His jaw tightened. “Not when you spent most of your life not allowed to have friendships.”

And when I didn’t know if what felt like friendship was real.

I had been so scared that the kindness and interest Tawny showed me was nothing more than her duty as a Lady in Wait.

But it was real.

“Want to rethink that drink?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I breathed.

“Good.” Casteel went to the credenza and picked up a slender decanter. “You’re nervous.”

“Is it that obvious?” I asked as he poured.

Replacing the decanter, he picked up the chalice. “You’re about to twist the ends of your hair off.”