Page 127 of The Primal of Blood and Bone (Blood and Ash #6)

CASTEEL

When I entered the chamber, Poppy was still on the bed, staring at her hands. I wasn’t even sure she was aware of my return.

My heart pounded faster than it should, mirroring hers, and had been since Reaver showed. I quickly crossed the floor. “Poppy?”

She jerked a little and lifted her head. Her eyes were wide, the blotches of color swirling.

I sat beside her and asked a question she was probably getting tired of hearing. “Are you okay?”

She inhaled deeply, her chin lowering.

The lack of verbal response only increased my worry. She looked so damn lost.

Dipping my head, I put the tips of my fingers under her chin and lifted her gaze to mine. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”

She looked up at me then, her lips curving upward at the endearment.

The sides of my face felt oddly hot. “What’s going on?”

Poppy tilted her head and pressed her cheek into my touch. I fucking loved that. Thick lashes lowered as she took another deep breath. “I didn’t even think to ask them—the Arae.”

“What do you think you should’ve asked them?”

“I could’ve asked them about her. Like what she thought of me. Millicent. Everything.” She paused. “I doubt they would’ve answered, but…I’m trying not to panic.”

“About what?” I slid my thumb along her cheekbone.

“ Her ,” she said. “She’s the true Primal of Life. The Queen.”

I relaxed. A little. “You’re a Primal, Poppy. And a Queen—”

“She’s the Queen. The Queen of the Gods and Common Man,” she argued.

Locking away my concerns regarding Seraphena, I smoothed some shorter strands of her hair behind her ear. “And she’s your grandmother. You’re her flesh and blood.”

Poppy rubbed her hands together. “Like I don’t…” She trailed off, her nose scrunching.

“You don’t what?” I prodded.

“I…I don’t know how I’m supposed to act toward her,” she admitted.

I should’ve known this was what held her in a state of near immobility.

Poppy, my beautiful Queen and Primal, was so incredibly strong and as endlessly kind as she was brave.

But the way she had been brought up as the Maiden had affected how she interacted with people.

She had so little experience meeting new people and being allowed to interact with them.

And that included Coralena. Even her interactions with Ian became limited.

She only had Tawny and Vikter for far too many years.

“Just be who you are,” I said.

The look she gave me said she wasn’t impressed with my answer.

“That’s the problem. I don’t know how to be myself with someone like her.

Should I treat her as the Queen, or should I be more familiar with her—actually, how does one behave in the presence of the Queen of the Gods?

I wish Millicent were here. I think it would be easier if she were. ”

I nearly choked on a laugh. Had she spent any time with Millicent? Even five seconds? “I’m not sure that would make things easier.”

“But her being here would at least take the attention off me.”

Biting my lip, I shook my head. Clearly, Poppy underestimated how much attention she garnered.

“What exactly are you worried about?” I asked.

She lifted a shoulder, and a moment passed. “What if she’s upset about my Ascension? And that is why she’s coming.”

While I was right there with her when it came to that concern, I couldn’t let her see that. “I seriously doubt she will be displeased,” I told her—and myself.

“How can you be sure?” she persisted. “Maybe that’s why Millicent isn’t here.”

Good question. “Because how could she be anything but pleased to know you?”

“I can think of one good reason,” she stated blandly. “Actually, two or three reasons.”

I knew exactly what she was thinking. “She will not hold Isbeth’s crimes against you.”

“Or the fact that we handed her son over to Isbeth, only to have her plunge a dagger into his heart?” she countered.

“We didn’t know she would do that,” I said, placing my hand over hers and stopping her before she rubbed the skin of her palms raw. “She’ll understand.”

She drew her lower lip between her teeth. “I hope so.”

“None of us knows much about Seraphena—actually, we know very little.” I drew her hands apart and placed one on the bed. “But I can’t imagine she is the type to hold the sins of a parent against the child. And I don’t think she would’ve answered my prayers if that were the case,” I shared.

Her eyes shot to mine. “Your prayers?”

Nodding, I clasped her cheeks. “After we dealt with the thing with Kolis, you fell into an even deeper stasis,” I reminded her.

“We didn’t know how long you would remain in it.

” My chest felt heavy. The desperation I’d felt was still too real.

And the guilt was still there, despite what Poppy had told me.

At least it wasn’t as unbearable as it had been.

“I was desperate for you to wake up. To return to me. To us. I didn’t know how much more I could take. I was going out of my mind with worry.”

“Cas,” she whispered.

Gods.

Every time she called me Cas was a miracle.

I cleared my throat. “I prayed to her, and she answered. I don’t know how, but I know she did.

You woke up not too long after that.” I smiled.

It came easier this time. “If she was displeased with you, why would she have answered my prayers?” I took her hand in mine, the one with the imprint. “And if I’m wrong? Then fuck her.”

She blinked, then stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. “Fuck her? You’re speaking about the Queen of the Gods.”

“And?” I brought her hand to my lips and kissed the golden swirl. “If she holds you responsible for what you had no say in, then she isn’t worth the dirt under a pile of horse shit.”

She just stared at me with wide eyes.

“I’m speaking the truth…” I paused, sensing Kieran nearing the Solar. “ Sweetheart .”

That earned me a soft laugh. “You’re right.”

“Of course, I am.”

She rolled her eyes and then let out a soft breath as she glanced down at herself. “I should change.”

I could tell she was still worried, and I could only hope—for all our sakes—that Reaver was right.

“It feels grossly inappropriate to be in only a robe while meeting the Queen of the Gods.”

“With its shit ton of buttons,” I said, “it’s a rather fancy robe.”

Poppy sent me a look of doubt as the Solar’s main doors opened. Kieran appeared, looking like he’d either slept in the tunic he wore or hadn’t slept at all.

“That draken said you needed me,” he said, his gaze darting between us before returning to me. “He also said you shifted.”

Before I could say a word, Poppy sprang off the bed. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

“Well—”

“Especially when I was holding his fur!” she yelled. I was actually grateful I hadn’t told her.

Her anger was distracting her from her worry.

“I figured he would want to tell you,” Kieran replied.

“Likely excuse,” Poppy huffed and then spun. “You’re lucky I need to get changed.”

Kieran leaned against the door. “Is this why I was summoned?”

“Did Reaver not tell you?” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees as I watched Poppy disappear into the closet.

“Are you seriously asking me if that fucking draken was clear and helpful?” he countered.

I snorted. “The Queen of the Gods is coming.”

Kieran pushed off the doorframe. “Come again?”

“You heard him right.” Poppy’s voice reached us from the recesses of the closet.

“You’re talking about her ? Seraphena?” Kieran said, his voice lowering.

I sent him a look. “Why do you always whisper her name?”

“I don’t.”

“You do,” Poppy shouted.

Kieran stared at me. “You two aren’t shitting me?”

“We’re not,” I confirmed.

Kieran took a step and then staggered back one.

I straightened. Fuck, was he going to pass out? I mind-linked with him as I glanced toward the closet, hearing what sounded like a hanger hitting the wall. You all right over there?

Kieran’s entire body jerked. Clearing his throat, he nodded. Just wasn’t expecting you to say that.

Join the club.

“Damn. Okay—” Kieran paused. We both looked at the closet when a little growl of frustration came from within. His brow furrowed as he turned his attention back to me. “You shifted?”

“Reaver let himself in. Caught me off guard.” I loosely clasped my hands. “I recognized Poppy instinctively but not Reaver or Emil.”

“As I said before, it would probably help if you shifted, went for a run, and spent some time with that side of yourself. It’s the only way you’ll learn control.”

I nodded, wondering exactly when the fuck we were supposed to find time for that. Besides, what I’d said to Poppy before was true. I wanted to experience that with her.

I wanted to experience it with both of them.

You’re concerned . Kieran’s voice reached me through the link. And don’t tell me you’re not when you clearly are .

I let out a quiet, dry laugh. It’s fucking annoying how well you know me.

Kieran just pinned me with a bland look.

Dragging my hands over my face, I quickly told him what Aydun had shared.

He clenched his hands at his sides. You really think that’s a valid concern? That they think Poppy will become a threat?

You did, didn’t you?

Every muscle in Kieran’s body tensed.

I exhaled slowly. But regarding what Aydun said, he didn’t mention Seraphena directly. Just said ‘they,’ but… I glanced toward the closet, hearing Poppy moving about. I’m likely more of a concern to them than she is.

Kieran snorted.

I looked over at him. He was staring straight ahead, his jaw tense. Fuck. My attention returned to the closet. I hadn’t needed to get that jab in.

You’re wrong.

My gaze returned to him. About?

I never thought Poppy would be a threat. I never did, he said. That’s not why I made the promise.

I frowned. Then why did you?

You should ask her.

The subject of our conversation strolled out of the closet, wearing breeches and a gray vest over an ivory-hued shirt. It was the closest thing to white I’d seen her in since we’d left Masadonia. She carried two shirts—both black.