Page 63 of The Primal of Blood and Bone (Blood and Ash #6)

I started to repeat that he had my forgiveness, but I stopped myself. There was nothing for me to forgive. I wished there were because it was on him to forgive himself. “I understand.”

Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes briefly.

“You know, he got his,” I said. “In his chest with his favorite cane.”

A rough laugh left him. “Yeah, he did.” His throat worked on a swallow as he opened his eyes. “And he got more than that. You should ask your boy about that.”

My brows lifted.

Vikter cleared his throat. “About what you asked before—why the other Arae wouldn’t be happy with you being here. Well…” He sighed heavily. “Some of the other Arae think having you here is too much of a threat.”

“A threat to what?” I prodded, running my fingers along the robe’s sash. Again, no answer came to me. “The balance?”

Vikter hesitated.

Tension crept into my muscles as I guessed what he’d meant. “I’m a threat…to them.”

“They don’t have anything to worry about when it comes to you.” Vikter leaned over and touched my arm lightly. “But I know you and what’s in your heart. They don’t.”

“Shouldn’t they know what’s in my heart?” My fingers twisted the buttons. “They are Fates, after all.”

“That doesn’t mean they know you like that,” he countered evenly.

I looked away, my gaze fastening on the window. “What do they think I’ll do? They’re Fates.” As in Ancients , I silently added. “And—”

“And you’re the Primal of Blood and Bone.”

Swallowing a shriek at the new voice, I sprang to my feet and spun around.

A fair-haired man stood at the floor-to-ceiling windows, his hands clasped behind his back.

“What the…?” I pressed my hand to my chest, my stomach clenching as I took in his all-white attire.

“You could’ve used the door, Lirian,” Vikter said. “You know, like a normal person?”

“What’s the fun in that?”

“Fun?” My heart felt like it might come out of my chest as I stared at what I instinctually knew was a Fate—an Ancient.

And I knew it without sensing him. The fact that I didn’t sense his arrival was more than a little concerning.

“I felt Holland when he arrived while we were…beyond the Veil. I didn’t feel you. ”

“Your connection to the essence is severed here. Your powers are bound.”

My eyes darted between him and Vikter, then narrowed. “You bound my powers?”

“Not just me,” he stated, looking over his shoulder at me, revealing the deep-russet-colored pattern on his face. His eyes were a multitude of colors like mine, except there were no traces of shadows in his, nor had there been any in Holland’s. “All of us used our will to do so.”

I stiffened. “The…entirety of the Arae are using their will against me? I don’t know if I should be flattered that it took all of you or just angry.”

“It’s only a precaution.” Lirian faced me then. With his unblemished skin and broad cheekbones, the Fate was beautiful, but there was something off about his perfectly symmetrical features. Something missing. “You don’t know what you’re capable of, and you’re also known to have quite the temper.”

“You know what I’m not capable of?” I snapped, my anger resurfacing. “Destroying an entire realm. But you know what can?” I stared pointedly at him, wanting him to know I knew exactly what he was. “You.”

Lirian didn’t respond for some moments, the silence stretching my nerves as he held my gaze. “Vikter?”

He sighed and turned to me. “It’s time for me to leave.”

“No,” I said, not ready to say goodbye…and partly because I worried that I might prove his comments about my temper true if I were left alone with Lirian. “You can stay.”

“I can’t,” Vikter said quietly and approached.

“Yes. You can.” I took a step back, not wanting him to get close enough to say goodbye. “I need you here.”

The smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes was genuine but also sad, forcing me to take another step back. “You don’t need me anymore, Poppy.”

What felt like a clawed hand reaching into my chest and shredding my heart stole my breath. The back of my throat burned. “That’s not true.”

He reclaimed the step I took. “I’ve done all I can to prepare you—”

“I’m not talking about that!” My breath snagged again as the burn made it to my eyes.

“I know.” He reached out and cupped my cheek.

A knot fisted in the pit of my stomach as my hands clenched at my sides.

In the back of my mind, I recognized the futility of my protests.

Anxiety surged, making it feel like my skin was trying to separate itself from my body.

I attempted to keep the desperate words to myself but couldn’t.

“Please don’t leave me again,” I whispered, not caring that anyone was watching. “Please.”

“Poppy.” Vikter’s voice trembled as he dropped his forehead to mine. “I have never left you. You have to realize that now.”

“It’s not the same.”

“That doesn’t change the facts, though. It does not make the truth a lie.”

Feeling tears welling up, I wanted to throw myself on the floor like a small child and rage. Instead, I closed my eyes and focused on taking a deep breath and letting go for a moment. “Will I see you again?”

“I cannot answer that.”

I knew who could. Pulling back, I started to turn to Lirian, but Vikter stopped me. “He cannot tell you either.”

“He has to know,” I argued.

“I didn’t say he didn’t. Only that he cannot say.”

“You mean he will not .”

“Stop,” he chided softly, his voice hardening slightly. “I know this is hard. It’s hard for me, too. But you’ve faced harder. So have I. And you’re stronger than this.”

Out of everything he’d said, this only made me want to cry harder.

Because I had so many memories of Vikter basically telling me to deal with whatever I didn’t want to face at the moment.

He’d always let me have my moment and then made sure I moved on.

Like when I said goodbye to Ian when he first left for Carsodonia.

And then again when I missed him. The first time Priestess Analia slapped me.

When I was sad about not being allowed to attend a function that Tawny was allowed to go to.

After the first time I assisted with a cursed —someone infected by a Craven—and ended their suffering.

After my lessons with the Duke. It may sound harsh, but it wasn’t.

He allowed me to express what I felt, and then he made sure I survived it.

Like he was doing now.

“You good?” he asked quietly.

I wasn’t, but I nodded.

“Good.” He extended his hand. “Come here.”

Lirian sighed. “We don’t have all the time in the realm.”

“You have time for this,” he said, not taking his eyes off mine.

Taking Vikter’s hand, he pulled me in for a warm, tight hug. I embraced him harder, just breathing in his scent. His head lowered, and when he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. “I was wrong about Leopold.”

Confusion flooded me. I started to pull back, but he held on, keeping me there.

“He wasn’t who I thought he was,” he said quickly and quietly, and something about that tugged at a distant memory. “I never actually saw him until—” He cut himself off as he glanced at Lirian, whose gaze I could feel practically drilling into us. “Ask Tawny. She’ll explain. Understand?”

I nodded, even though I really didn’t.

Vikter held me as the seconds ticked by, and I thought I should probably let go of him, but I couldn’t. I had a feeling it would be a long time before I could be in his presence again.

If ever.

But Vikter hadn’t wasted all those years with me. I dealt with it—saying goodbye. Letting out a long, slow breath, I stitched myself together and lowered my arms.

“That’s my girl,” Vikter murmured, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head.

Stepping back, he gave me a smile that creased the corners of his eyes.

He didn’t say goodbye. I didn’t want him to.

And I didn’t look away as he turned and left the chamber through an arched doorway I hadn’t even noticed until then.

Only once he was gone did I close my eyes.

Gods, I was so grateful to have a new last memory of him.

I inhaled deeply, willing the tears back.

“Vikter is different than the others,” Lirian announced. “He’s even favored by the Queen herself.”

My head swung toward him.

“That is why he’s able to push the limits of what he can and cannot do and gets away with it.” His eyes met mine. “So far.”

My muscles coiled, drawing my shoulders back at the clear warning. “If you hurt him—”

“It wouldn’t just be you I’d have to contend with if I did,” he said with a faint smile that didn’t quite warm his features. “Rest assured, he’s not in any danger.”

I wanted to feel assured .

I didn’t.

“He knows and sees more than he should,” he added after a moment. “But there are things he does not know and can only make assumptions about.” He paused. “Your father is one of them.”

I frowned. “Which one?”

“There is only one.”

My brows rose. “Yeah, I know that. But I once believed—”

“I know what you believed.”

Like when Vikter mentioned Leopold, I once again felt like a memory was just out of my grasp.

No matter how hard I concentrated, I couldn’t recall it.

Frustration rose, and while I wanted to figure out what both Lirian and Vikter meant, I had no idea how long I’d been gone or what was happening in the mortal realm. And Casteel…

“You’re worried about your heartmate, aren’t you?” Lirian asked. The fact that he knew that was eerie. “There’s no need to be. He was prevented from making the same mistake that you did.”

My entire body went taut. “What do you mean?”

“Casteel attempted to follow you, which should’ve been impossible.” The Ancient paused. “Your husband was in the process of doing as you had done, shadowstepping—”

“ What ?”

Lirian sighed. “If you give yourself a moment instead of immediately asking a question, you may find that you already hold the answers within yourself.”

“Or you could just explain it to me,” I muttered under my breath, looking out the window to the clouds.