Page 108 of The Primal of Blood and Bone (Blood and Ash #6)

“He may not be a threat to us,” Aylard said. I really hoped he wasn’t going where I thought he was. “But if he is?” he continued. “And he is this powerful now? Perhaps…”

“Perhaps?” I waited. “What?”

His lips thinned. “Perhaps we attempt to negotiate.”

Gods.

He went exactly where I thought he would.

“Negotiate for what?” Murin asked, his brow furrowed so deeply his eyebrows almost merged.

“Peace?” I asked.

“Peace is better than destruction,” Aylard stated.

Reaver drew his long head back as he eyed the Elemental, smoke wafting from his nostrils.

“Like it was for the Atlantians when they retreated beyond the Skotos after the War of Two Kings?” I questioned.

His nostrils flared, and I willed Reaver not to burn the man alive.

“Since it doesn’t appear as if you listened to why I fear we’re approaching Kolis with too much rationale, let me explain it more clearly.

The last time the Kingdom of Atlantia retreated, it was to escape the vamprys and a demis.

This time, it will be from a likely insane, true Primal of Death who will easily be able to cross the Skotos and use his will against the only land and people you appear to value. ”

A muscle throbbed in Aylard’s jaw. Lizeth did nothing to hide her smirk. “I understood you the first time,” Aylard said.

“Then why would you think negotiating for peace would be an intelligent option?” Eather hummed in my chest. “Or is it just a suggestion borne of cowardice?”

Aylard’s eyes widened as he drew back, his spine straightening. He started to stand. “I am no cowar—”

“If your Queen says you are,” Casteel spoke, his voice impossibly soft, “then you are.” His fingers tapped the arm of his chair slowly as icy energy seeped into the chamber. “And I would suggest you sit down. Now.”

Aylard sat slowly, his eyes fixed on Casteel. “I…apologize if I gave you that impression.”

I lifted a brow as Reaver huffed.

“But it seems there is no real plan beyond taking our armies to Pensdurth,” the general went on. “To fight against the true Primal of Death who, by your own admission, is unstoppable.”

“I never said he was unstoppable.”

Sven cleared his throat. “While I rarely agree with anything that comes out of Aylard’s mouth, it seems you’re both suggesting the same thing.”

I blinked, disbelief coursing through me and clearly his son, who stared at his father’s back like his mind was suddenly addled. “We are not suggesting the same thing.”

The soft tap of Casteel’s fingers thudded as Sven smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “You’re suggesting we approach this a bit irrationally,” he said, and I frowned. “And Aylard’s option is as irrational as they come.”

Aylard’s jaw worked as he sat back.

“The question is, what is your not-quite-rational option?” Sven asked.

The tension in my neck ratcheted up as I briefly closed my eyes, seeing the bone dagger in the chest. I felt Kieran’s stare on me and heard the continued soft tap of Casteel’s fingers. “Kolis wants the eather in me—the essence of life and death.”

Casteel’s fingers stilled.

My heart sped up as I kept my gaze focused ahead. “He must take my blood—all of it—for that to happen.”

“Fucking gods,” Kieran muttered as Lizeth’s gaze shot to the silent storm brewing to my right.

“Which means he will not use his will against me,” I forged on. “Anyone else? He will. And that includes everyone in this chamber.”

He cannot kill us , Kieran reminded me as if I’d forgotten.

That doesn’t mean he can’t harm both of you to the point where you are as good as dead, I sent back to him.

Kieran inhaled and held the breath.

“That also means that no one and no army will be able to get close enough to him,” I said, pushing the essence down as it stirred inside me. “But I can.”

Sven’s mouth moved with no sound as he leaned back.

“Exactly what,” Casteel drawled, and I stiffly turned my neck to look at him, seeing the glow of eather in his eyes burning brightly, “are you suggesting, Poppy?”

I knew both he and Kieran could feel my heart pounding, but I couldn’t calm it. “That I should go to Pensdurth. Alone.”

“Out,” Casteel ordered in a voice barely above a whisper. Still, it landed like a punch to the chest. “Everyone out. Now.”

His stare held mine, and chairs scraped against stone as everyone made a hasty exit.

Well, almost everyone.

“Leave, Reaver,” Casteel ordered.

The draken huffed out a hot breath we felt on the other side of the chamber and lowered his head, his curled upper lip revealing massive, sharp teeth.

“He’s not going to leave,” I whispered.

“Nor will I,” Kieran said.

“Fine.” Casteel smiled tightly. “We will have an audience then.”

“I don’t think—”

“Correct. You don’t think. That, we agree on.”

My head jerked back. “That’s not what I meant.”

“But it is true.” He leaned in, his chin lowering until we were at eye level with each other. “Because that is the only thing that explains why you would think, for one fucking second, Poppy, that Kieran or I would ever agree to you going to Pensdurth alone.”

“He’s right,” Kieran said.

“No one asked you,” I snapped. “Or you, Casteel . I am an adult. A Queen and a Primal god. I do not need to ask permission of either of you.”

The sharp edges of Reaver’s frills skimmed the ceiling as he tilted his head.

“All of what you said is true,” Kieran began.

“The only thing I agree with is that you are a Queen and a Primal god.” Casteel’s unflinching gaze remained locked on me. “However, you are not behaving like an adult.”

“Here we go,” Kieran muttered.

Frustration exploded. I pushed back my chair and stood. “That’s hilarious coming from you, who just ordered everyone from the chamber because you could not behave like one.”

His head tipped back to look up at me. “I ordered everyone from the chamber because I didn’t think anyone needed to witness this.” His lips curved up. “As an adult would. It’s… hilarious that you don’t understand that.”

Slowly, I lifted a hand and extended my middle finger. “Is this also hilarious?”

“It’s real…adult-like,” he replied, his lashes lowering.

I opened my mouth.

“Poppy.” Kieran grabbed my arm and tugged me until I sat. “Look at me.”

Crossing my arms, I turned my head half an inch in his direction. “Looking.”

“So mature,” purred Casteel.

My head swung toward him. “You want to see—?”

Kieran slammed his hand down, rattling the table. I jumped, but both Casteel and Reaver simply looked at him.

“You need to shut up.” The aura of essence in Kieran’s eyes pulsed as his glare slid from Casteel to me. “And listen.”

A low growl of irritation rumbled from him. “You just said we cannot approach Kolis as we would the Blood Crown. One of us running off is doing exactly that.”

I started to speak.

“ Listen ,” he pressed. “Not only that, you would throw a bigger hissy fit than him—” He pointed at Casteel.

“Hissy fit?” Casteel spat.

Reaver chuffed out a laugh.

“Sounds about right,” I muttered.

“—if we suggested what you did,” Kieran continued, a muscle ticking in his temple.

“That’s because it’s not the same.”

“And what makes you think that?” Casteel demanded.

“He’s not being quiet,” I told Kieran.

He shot Casteel a look of warning I knew would be ignored. “Casteel killed a Revenant. Something believed impossible. I’m betting I can do the same. So, why do you believe only you can kill Kolis?”

“Because the Fates said so,” I said.

“Why?”

I opened my mouth. I had no answer.

“Exactly,” Kieran stated.

“No, it’s not exactly . You’re missing the point. Kolis needs me alive—”

“He needs you alive until he doesn’t,” Casteel interrupted. “Which isn’t all that different from us.”

I narrowed my eyes on him. “Aren’t you supposed to be quiet?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be listening?” Casteel shot back.

“Neither of you is doing what I said,” Kieran retorted.

Blowing out an aggravated breath, I looked away.

“What do you expect me to do then? Sit by and do nothing, hoping Kolis doesn’t decide to randomly kill more innocent people?

People we’re supposed to protect? Just like the Arae demanded that I sit by and do nothing for the Continents—holding me back when there is something I can do? ”

Casteel stilled, and then his head tilted. He drew in a deep breath. “No, Poppy,” he said, his voice gentler but not softer. “You know I’ve never held you back. Do you think I’m doing that now?”

I closed my eyes, feeling the back of my throat sting. I shook my head.

“Do you know why I’m against this?” he asked, his hand folding over mine. “Why Kieran is? I know it’s the same thing you’d feel if we suggested what you are.”

“Because…because you’re worried,” I whispered.

“Worried?” Kieran laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I don’t think that encapsulates what we feel when we think about you running off to face Kolis.”

If our situations were reversed, I would be…terrified.

“I get that you want to protect the people here. I do, too.” Casteel lifted my hand, threading his fingers between mine. “But endangering yourself is not how you do that.”

A knot lodged in my throat. “Then what should I do?”

“You should be asking what we should do,” Casteel said. “The three of us. Together.”

Eyes opening, I twisted back to him. “Is that what you’re suggesting we do?”

“I’m suggesting we at least wait until we receive word from Pensdurth.

And that we get as much information as possible before we do anything,” he said, his eyes searching mine.

“When I said we go to Pensdurth, I wasn’t talking about the armies.

Not that I’m against bringing them. We may need them. But I meant us.”

What went unsaid rang painfully clear. “I wasn’t only thinking of myself.”

“I know.” Casteel’s gaze briefly lifted to Kieran. “We both know that. And, gods, I wish you were thinking of only yourself. Instead, you were thinking of everyone but yourself.”

I ran my palms over my legs and glanced toward Reaver. I could only see the top of his frills since he’d again lowered his head to rest between his forelegs.

“We are Joined. The three of us. We’re protected as long as you are.” Casteel leaned in until only a few inches separated us. “I, more than anyone, know what happens when one believes they can fight alone. They fall. I failed. I cannot stand by and watch you make that same mistake.”

I pressed my lips together and shivered as Casteel closed his hand around the nape of my neck. “We have to do something and soon—before Kolis is restored to full power. If he isn’t already.”

“And what would you suggest we do,” Kieran asked.

My thoughts raced for an answer since I had only considered what I could do.

I thought about what they wanted before making a move—knowledge.

“We need information, right? More than just what state Kolis is in. We also need to know what kind of forces he’s gathered.

” I took a deep breath. “We can get that information right now. Slip in, scout the city, and slip right back out.”

“Poppy,” Kieran started.

I turned to him, and Casteel’s hand slipped away. “I know you don’t like the idea of shadowstepping, but it’s really not that bad.”

“It has nothing to do with that,” he said.

“You said we would be able to sense Kolis if he was in the city,” Casteel stated. “That should be the same for him, right? He will be able to sense us.”

“I…” I sat back. “Yes.” How could I not have even considered that? That kind of mistake was utterly absurd, defied logic, and was nothing short of ludicrous.

“We aren’t doing nothing,” Casteel said.

“I know it feels like it, but you know making smart, concise decisions based on fact and not emotion doesn’t equal inactivity.

That’s why you didn’t burn a path to Carsodonia when you came for me.

You were strategic. We are doing the same thing here.

And when we make our move against Kolis, we do so together.

That’s how we walk away from this. Together.

That’s how we live. And we will.” He squeezed my hand. “Okay?”

The breath I took was shallow as I nodded.

“I want to hear you say it,” Kieran said.

I closed my eyes and gave them what they wanted. I said okay. Not because I felt I had to but because they were right. The three of us did have a better chance at defeating Kolis together. But I had a feeling, and I didn’t know if it was the vadentia or fear, that better wasn’t good enough.

I worried we wouldn’t win.

Even if we managed to live.