Page 62 of The Primal of Blood and Bone (Blood and Ash #6)

“I hate that you had to see that,” Vikter said, drawing me from my thoughts.

Sorrow knotted in my chest. So many had died.

“Before I woke up, I think I saw the end,” I whispered, realizing that I didn’t think it.

I knew I’d seen the end. “I didn’t remember it until I was there.

What was that place?” I asked, and the answer that sort of just popped into my head was even stranger.

“It was like a…collection of lands instead of kingdoms, and it was so different. There were things there I’d never seen before. ”

As I told him about the tall buildings made of steel and glass, the ships and metal boxes with wheels, he looked more and more worried that I had damaged my head. “Did you know about that place?”

“I’ve heard of lands beyond the Veil,” he said, and I frowned. “Protected much like the place you stand in now.”

My frown grew. “Where am I?”

“Mount Lotho.”

Mount…

Oh, my gods.

Lurching back, I slipped free as my eyes widened. “I’m in…”

His lips quirked. “You’re in Iliseeum.”

Shock froze me for a heartbeat before I stepped back and turned to the floor-to-ceiling windows.

At least I now understood where the buzz of energy in the air was coming from.

Looking around, I got my first glimpse of the chamber.

It was circular and wide. Beside the bed were a few chairs and a table with a bottle and a couple of glasses.

I was in Iliseeum.

“Holland brought you here,” Vikter explained, and I figured he meant the stranger who’d arrived in the other realm shortly after I had.

“He’s really pushing it with the other Arae and risking inciting their wrath by doing so—well, more than he already has.

Then again, Holland likes to walk that very fine line between interfering and not. ”

“What do—wait. Holland is a Fate?”

Vikter nodded.

That strange sense of knowing happened again, telling me that Holland was also known as something else.

An Ancient.

That was why his eyes resembled the one who had clawed its way out of the ground—because Fates and Ancients were one and the same.

But that still didn’t make sense.

When the Ancients fell to the Primals, they either passed on and entered a place…called Arcadia, or went to ground. That’s what I’d seen. But some didn’t.

Some remained to ensure the balance.

I rubbed my temple, wondering if I really knew this stuff or had suddenly developed an extremely overactive imagination.

Something I’d been successful at not acknowledging since I saw Holland’s eyes crept into my thoughts. But there was no stopping it. The way my eyes looked now was far too similar to Holland’s and the feathered Ancient’s.

But what did it mean?

You know, that pesky inner voice whispered.

I glanced over at Vikter, about to ask if he knew what Holland was, but something stopped me. “If you knew what Holland really was, you wouldn’t be able to say.”

A lopsided grin appeared. “Correct.”

Lowering my hand, I remembered the other part of what he’d said. “What were you saying about him walking a fine line?”

“He shouldn’t have brought you here,” Vikter explained. “The Arae are really big on—”

“Balance and not tipping the scales in either direction,” I finished for him, repeating the knowledge that came to me.

He nodded. “And Holland’s actions could be seen as him giving you aid.”

“But he did aid me,” I pointed out. “He got me out before that thing could…” My chest squeezed with nausea and a hot burst of anger. “Do whatever it was trying to do.”

His head tilted slightly as his lips pressed together, momentarily forming a tight line. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” I muttered, too embarrassed to admit that I’d gotten my ass handed to me.

He eyed me for a moment, then continued. “I’m guessing retrieving you doesn’t count as interference. If it did, he would’ve known. Though I can tell he didn’t get you out of there fast enough.” His jaw hardened. “You were fighting.”

“Trying to,” I muttered. I wouldn’t call what I’d engaged in fighting. More like an ass-kicking. And I hadn’t been the one doing it. “If the other Arae aren’t happy with my presence, why did he help? And why would they be mad?”

“He couldn’t drop you off unconscious. Your boy would’ve lost his damn mind.”

Boy .

My lips twitched, and I shook my head. “Then what’s the big deal?”

His gaze shifted away as he scratched at his chin. “It probably isn’t, and I’m just talking too much.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You’ve always been upfront with me.”

“Yeah.”

“Even when it was something I didn’t want to hear,” I added. “But you’re not being upfront with me now.”

“You’re right.” Vikter sighed and dropped his hand. “Why don’t you go clean yourself up, and then I’ll answer your question.”

“How about you…?” I trailed off as rays of warm sunlight reached me. Glancing down, I saw streaks of dirt on my feet and calves—

Oh, my gods.

I was still wearing the thin nightgown.

My face caught fire as I folded my arms tightly over my chest.

“There’s a bathing chamber through that door to your left,” Vikter said, finding something about the ceiling to be of great interest. “I’ll be waiting.”

I wheeled around without hesitation and hurried to the chamber he spoke of. Shutting the door behind me, I leaned against it, my face still burning.

As if today wasn’t already traumatic enough.

And it sounded like it was about to get even more messed up.

“Okay,” I muttered under my breath. “I am so not going to think about the fact that I was barely clothed in front of the man I think of as a father.”

I glanced around the large room, brightly lit by windows that ran along the top of the walls. The entire space was…white. The floor. The walls. The large tub. The stall, very similar to the showers in Atlantia. The large vanity. Everything was made of white marble.

I quickly took care of the necessities. Once I was done, I took another look at the chamber.

A light-gray-and-blue robe was draped over a white wooden chair.

Oddly enough, there was no mirror. Sending a yearning look to the shower stall, I turned to the marble basin.

There was no time for a shower. While I badly wanted to spend more time with Vikter, I needed to find out what’d really happened in that strange land.

Then I needed to get back to Cas. He must be going out of his mind with worry, especially considering what he’d gone through while Kolis had me under his influence.

Kolis.

My jaw tightened. Everything Casteel had told me came roaring back as I made use of the pitchers of fresh water and the mildly sweet-scented bar of soap. But as I scrubbed the dirt from my skin and washed my face, what I’d seen earlier overshadowed what had happened to me.

Yeah, learning that I hadn’t had complete control of myself and remembering practically nothing from that time, well, it sucked. But I survived. It was nothing compared to what had happened to all those people.

Exhaling roughly, I looked down. Some of the skin on my legs and arms was a splotchy red.

I grabbed a nearby towel, hoping I wouldn’t bruise now that I was a Primal since I didn’t plan on telling Cas about getting my ass handed to me.

Even though he couldn’t have done anything, I knew guilt over not being there to back me up would eat at him.

Which meant I really needed to think about that before I rushed off again.

But, in my defense, I couldn’t stop myself.

It was like being compelled. But for what?

To just stand by and watch people die? That was bullshit.

I was a Primal of Life. I could take away pain, heal, and even bring life back to those who had passed.

They weren’t gifts from the gods in the way the Ascended claimed they were, but they were a gift—one I could’ve used. But Holland had prevented it.

Anger simmered as I roughly dried myself off and yanked on the lightweight robe. I inhaled deeply as I buttoned the robe and pushed down the anger, preparing myself for whatever Vikter didn’t want to tell me.

When I stepped back into the circular chamber, my heart leapt at the sight of Vikter.

Part of me still couldn’t believe it was him, and this wasn’t a dream.

He had taken a seat by the table, idly rubbing the knee of one outstretched leg.

He’d injured it while fighting some Craven shortly after I arrived in Masadonia—or at least that’s what he told me when I was older and asked about it.

But now, I wondered if it was an even older injury.

That odd sense of knowing didn’t magically provide me with an answer, but either way, I didn’t think it was fair that such aches still plagued him.

Vikter’s gaze flicked up, his hand stilling. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat.

“Come sit with me.” He waited until I got my butt moving and sat in the chair on the other side of the table. “I need to say something to you. Something you’ll disagree with, but I still need to say it.”

I swallowed. “Okay.”

He took a ragged breath. “There were things I knew you were going through—the Duke, his lessons.”

Tension rippled along my spine, causing my stomach to dip. The reaction wasn’t unusual, but there… Something about Duke Teerman lingered on the edges of my thoughts, elusive yet unsettling.

“I didn’t know everything. I didn’t need to,” he continued. “I had to protect you, and by doing so, I couldn’t risk my position as your guard. If I spoke up—”

“You would’ve been removed or worse,” I cut in, and that was true. If he’d intervened, Duke Teerman would’ve had him demoted or made sure he disappeared. That was why Vikter couldn’t do anything, and it was something Casteel would disagree with me on.

“But that’s no excuse. And I don’t mean for it to be. Nor do I expect your forgiveness.”

“You have it.”

“I never should’ve asked for it,” he countered softly. “I just want you to know that I’m sorry you had to go through what you did. I’m so damn sorry.”