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It flashed to when I saved Jason. I saw myself with Valentina standing there staring at my brother who was barely alive.

Tears clouded my eyes when I saw Jason. That had been the closest I’d been to him in several years.

I’d been the sniper from afar, but I could drop someone from three hundred yards away, so I didn’t need to be that close.

I whispered, “This is my fault.” Valentina disagreed, “It’s really not.

” I glanced at the Hunters who were on my side.

I shouted, “Why didn’t you called me sooner?

” They replied, “You were being hunted by the pack for the wolf less thing and…” They trailed off.

I screamed, “AND WHAT?” One admitted, “So what if he dies? You have a purpose. He’s a useless, shitty brother. ”

Valentina snorted, “Ok, that wasn’t a good thing to say at all. Mel, it’s not your fault. Everyone makes choices and Beta Jason chose to go undercover with the Hunters. He knew the risks.” I shook my head as the options of what to do flew around my mind.

JC, the wolf less pack member here, said, “You’ve made life bearable around the pack! Before you came there was no hope. YOU are people’s hope. Your life is worth twenty of his! He turned his back on you. He’s a shit brother.”

Valentina sighed, “Please stop saying that.” I argued, “That’s NONE of your business, JC!

He’s what I have left of them. He’s my brother!

I realize that doesn't mean anything… to him… though I think it actually does deep down to him… maybe. If Jason knew what had happened to me… I don’t think he would’ve stood for that. ”

JC snorted, “None of us know exactly what happened. We just saw how you changed when you came back. I’ve heard the whispers about your back too.

Are they true?” The wolf less hadn’t been allowed on pack grounds during the hunt after it was clear I was winning.

Which was why he was here with Jason now.

I looked away without answering. I walked over to Jason and sighed in relief when I saw he had his watch on. I asked, “How much wolfsbane did he take on?” JC winced, “Too much.” I scanned him visually and could scent JC was right.

I ordered, “ILYX, do a scan and display data.” The display came up and I wiped furious at my tears that fell.

ILYX offered the dose I should use to keep him alive in the data display.

I took out a syringe with MDTJ and injected him twice.

I put one in his pocket and wrote a note to Dalton and Dakota. Those jerks.

Who sends their Beta in alone with Hunters… WHO KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE?! Idiots! I looked at Jason’s watch and checked it. It was still pumping the antidote into him. Good. I sighed, “Why would you do this? You have to live…you know? You can’t die on me. Not you too.”

Jason groaned, “Ladybug?” I gasped and my heart clinched. He’d said he’d never call me that again. He must be delirious from the poison in his veins. His eyes opened and I scrambled away. I tripped and landed on my butt.

He whispered, “You’re so beautiful… I miss you Ladybug.

” Tears filled my eyes. His head drooped back down.

I wiped my tears. I whispered, “I miss you too Jason… You big doofus…. seriously… you’re an Idiot.

.. you can’t do things like this…you have a pup!

” I turned around and devised a plan to get him out of here.

Thank goodness I’d given him his watch. MDTJ kept him alive.

I would be totally lost if he died. He was close as it was.

I shook myself. No, I couldn’t let him die.

I turned to my people, “I’m going to have to knock you out.

We are going to make it look like he was rescued.

” They sighed in relief. I hit them harder than I needed to.

Valentina snorted, “Oof. That was unnecessary.” I countered, “They were going to let him die, and he’s what I have left, Val.” Valentina disagreed, “You have us too.” I nodded acknowledging that was true. I told her, “Get us out of …”

I trailed off seeing that Dante was on his way here personally from the readout on my watch. I groaned, “Just get out of here. I’ll have to put him that tree and use our scent spray. I’ll take their punishment for letting him ‘escape.’ Get Dax here to lie, since… well…” I sucked at it.

She snorted, “I got it. I’d stay but I have…” I cut her off, “You have to take that mission. Virgil is out on his own.” She nodded then shimmered out.

I ordered, “ILYX, scan him.” ILYX told me, “He has time for your punishment if you get him to Xander and his mother after.” I could do that. I bent down and told Jason, “I can’t keep you alive forever like this… but I can in time to get you to those who can.”

I wiped my tears away saying, “If this doesn’t make you love me again…

nothing will. Don’t you dare think about going into any lights.

” I broke down and cried. I told him, “You hang on, Jase. I love you, big brother. You can’t leave me too.

I’d rather have you hating my guts than be dead.

” I sobbed with myself as I quickly got him out of sight seconds before Dante arrived.

Next it flashed to the night I’d called Xander. I’d memorized his number the night I’d texted him from Tristan’s phone. I couldn’t stand it. I was on a lot of drugs and traumatized. I’d lost everything. Despite it all his pleas to help me and his voice actually helped me.

He still called and left voicemails on that phone. I should let him go. I was being selfish. Part of me clung to Dax’s words though. Maybe Jason had lied… he was in shock and grieving… maybe he just made it up to hurt me like he was hurting.

Maybe Xander would want me one day. Or he’d be pissed I was emailing him as Ashley.

I really didn’t know. I just couldn’t help it.

He was perfect. Talking to him and Elise…

. It was my lifeline. I knew I didn’t deserve it, but I couldn’t stop.

They made me feel normal again. Loved… like I used to be.

Jason told me in his letters I didn’t deserve nice things. So did Everly. She was mad at how much Jason hated being the Beta. I couldn’t blame her really. I’d saved her when she was kidnapped for Jason though. Then found out she’d been pregnant with Kai. My nephew they’d never allow me to meet.

Peter Kyle was family to me, and he betrayed me as family and an Alpha. What happened wasn’t my fault. Maybe it was… but if this situation happened to anyone else… I’d say it wasn’t their fault. I’d say that the Alpha was being a jerk.

Peter Kyle WAS being a jerk… when you thought about it… logically. My parents trusted them to take care of me if something happened to them. Instead, he handed me over to our enemies. To the hands of Alpha Ezra’s allies no less.

Some days I wondered if Peter had known what they did to me at his request. I wondered if Jason or Grandpa Ben knew.

I didn’t think they would be ok with it.

I didn’t even think Peter would be ok with it if he knew what truly happened.

I knew Chelsea wouldn’t be. Sometimes I wondered if my parents haunted them. Or if Tristan haunted Jason.

I tried to harden my heart against them all again. They left and abandoned me. I was a pup, and they should’ve protected me. I woke up from that awful night all alone. My family died that day too, and they acted like my pain was nothing. It hurt coming from them.

Everyone else could act like my pain was nothing… but they weren’t supposed to. They were supposed to be my family. No, they WERE my family, and they threw me away. Like I was nothing. Maybe I was nothing. They thought I was. They didn’t even acknowledge when I saved them.

I heard a whisper, “You have to wake up and keep fighting now.” Wasn’t it someone else’s turn to fight?

I’d been fighting my whole life. I’d been fighting to keep my stuffed Xander wolf.

I’d been fighting to not be anyone’s but Xander’s.

Men always wanted me to be theirs. I was fighting for the innocents…

. Valentina, Virgil, Paige, and Paisley’s faces flashed through my mind.

Where would they be if I didn’t fight? Trapped. Like so many others I had to fight for. I was their chance and their hope. I couldn’t abandon them. I was on the inside of the underbelly of the beast in a way the allies never could be.

It was my place to stand. Between those that hide in the shadows and those they seek to prey upon. I kept Xander safe this way. I kept the allies and everyone I cared about safe my way. It was a lonely life but it was mine.

I heard a beep and nearly threw up. It was too familiar. I opened my eyes then frowned. I had no earthly clue where I was. I groaned saying to myself in my head, “This is an all too familiar feeling… and that didn’t end well for me last time.”

I spotted a man with his back to me. I easily noted that he was a Hackura.

He had the same sense about him Micah, Cayden, and Levi did.

I cleared my throat. He turned around and my jaw dropped.

He greeted, “Nice to see you officially Ashley.” I nodded, “Sure. You too… Duke Brody Cambridge… What is going on?”

He snorted, “I think that’s my line. You know me?” I muttered, “People know you… that’s a thing that people know. Was Cayden there when I got in the car accident? Car accident… I was in a car accident, right? I swear I was…”

Everything was now a blur. This was not the first time this had happened. The same thing happened after the car accident my mom and I were in. I knew the answers though... Didn’t I? Why couldn’t I remember what happened?

Duke Brody smiled saying, “You can call me Brody. Do you remember what happened to you?” I frowned and rubbed my head. I went through the events I knew about. Blair found her mate… which means I’d have fought for her… I’d have been punished.