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It was a silly notion really, but I couldn’t help it.

I wanted her to know I was me. She didn’t though or she’d ask why I was here.

She’d be upset with her parents if she knew.

Heck, EJ probably knew I was banished from Red Run.

He DEFINITELY didn’t know I was Ashley though.

He wouldn’t talk to me, nor would Xander.

My heart filled with pain like usual. Xander.

I loved him with everything in me. I still helped him how I could.

I had to send Hendrick out as his sniper though.

If I saw him through the scope… I’d run to him.

I knew I should go let him reject me so he could be happy, but I knew his rejection would likely kill me.

I needed to stay away so I could get the Resistance to a point where everything could keep going without me. Kingsley could run it all, but she had her own thing going on. If something happened to me, ILYX would transfer everything to her with a message about it.

Plus, as things stood I needed to protect Xander, his allies, the innocents from the Ring, and my friends.

Once everything could run without me and the plan to take over the forgotten packs was all done then I’d go to him…

and let him do what he needed to. Then I’d disappear or be dead. That was the plan.

I felt bad enough that I’d made Xander wait this long. I knew he was probably looking for his mate. He didn’t truly believe it was me and all the women he sent down here said how desperately he didn’t want to be mine. They’d come over the years and nearly ripped my heart out.

Flashback

Melanie was furious. Buck and I had just stopped another pack trying to attack and take over.

I was dealing with the aftermath and was currently late to the Rebels concert.

A hairbrained idea from start to finish at the last minute from someone with delusions of grandeur stopped me from being on time.

All because that invading Alpha’s Beta was away and didn’t make it back in time to stop them. My friends in the band would announce to the supernatural crowd that I was busy and would join if I could. Cayden and Micah were there tonight though. I had information for them, so I needed to get there.

I finished the paperwork and got up to leave. Edward said, “I need you to go pick up my coffee.” I sneered, “Why? Doing your job isn’t good enough for you now?” He turned saying, “You’ll go or Avery will be in the punishing fields tonight.”

Buck jerked upright with furious eyes before he clenched his jaw and looked at the ground… but he said nothing. I silently tried to will him to… but it didn’t work. Even though I knew he would never let a whip touch Avery.

I huffed asking Edward, “Where’s your dang coffee at?

” He shrugged, “The usual place.” I wanted to hit him.

I called as he walked away, “I’ll go get your ungrateful turd face your coffee.

Even though I just saved you from dying.

AGAIN! Maybe next time, I’ll let them get to you IN YOUR OFFICE WHILE YOU HIDE!

” I stormed outside and got on my motorcycle and took off.

I was surprised when Buck pulled into the spot beside mine at the coffee shop. I asked, “Are you ok?” He replied, “Better than you will be, since Edward is not the only one whose order is waiting. I’m going to help you get the order back to the packhouse.”

I gritted my teeth surmising, “He knew I’d take my bike.” Buck nodded. I asked, “And you’re here because?” He replied, “We both know I’d have come even if they didn’t threaten Avery, but I won’t risk anything happening to her.” I stared at him, my reply dying on my lips. It was true.

Buck helped me out sometimes and it pissed me off because it was in the shadows. He wasn’t brave enough to stand up and do what was right, but he did make moves to be a decent person. Which told me he could be one all the time.

I stalked into the coffee shop. I went up to the counter declaring, “I’m here for Edward Davis’s order.

” The staff nodded and started to get it all together.

I shook my head and noted they ordered muffins, likely all they had behind that counter.

I swear they just liked to upset me after I saved their ungrateful lives.

I heard a fake annoying giggle, “God, Alpha Alexander can go all night.” Buck winced and I closed my eyes inhaling deeply. Ignore her, just ignore her. This was a thing I could do. She wasn’t the first to come down here and try to hurt me. It was fine. I was totally fine.

Someone gasped in reply, “He keeps everything so discreet though. I had no idea you were seeing each other. Or that he was with anyone at all. I’ve only heard people guessing which sex he’s interested in.” She should hang around here then. She’d hear all about the women he was into.

The woman who’d mentioned my mate laughed, “He invited me back to Black Mountain and introduced me to his family. Luna Elise was so sweet. She’s looking forward to having another sister in law.” Buck’s jaw dropped and pain radiated through my entire being.

Was he really taking a chosen mate this time?

Others had suggested it but they didn’t usually mention his family.

I was stunned that if he was taking a chosen it wasn’t going to be Cheyenne.

The only solace that offered me was knowing she’d be pissed because she was so sure in her online journal it would be them in the end.

Why was he even taking a chosen mate at all?

We could be happy. I would be the best mate to him, I really would.

I would defeat all his enemies. I would stand in the void between the good and bad.

I did it now, I just wanted to be near him while I was doing it.

I didn’t have to be by his side with the allies.

I knew they hated me. I’d be in the background, I could do that now. Heck, I was good at it at this point.

Another woman scoffed, “Please, he’s not taking you as a chosen mate.” I subtly looked over my shoulder at the woman my mate wanted. My heart sank because like the others, she was beautiful; flawless even.

She had no scars on her body like I did. She was blonde, of course. They all were. It was some sort of joke I was fated to him when I was clearly not his type. She was tall too, she could be a model. Most Werewolves could though.

She chuckled, “Oh, but he’s strongly considering it. I made that man see stars.” The woman I decided was cool asked, “And what about his fated mate? All the rumors I’ve heard are he wants his and would wait just like his dad did.” That was the rumor? Hope filled me before it was cruelly dashed.

Xander’s possible chosen mate shrugged, “Well, there was one girl who thought she was his, but he’s not into her though. He’s pretty desperate to have a mate in case she’s right. He doesn’t want her.” I’d rather be whipped, beaten, and left for dead than hear this.

Buck linked, “Melanie, don’t listen to her.” I waved him off and wiped a traitorous tear that fell. The barista sympathetically called, “Edward Davis’s order is up.” Yeah, she was from Black Path and knew I loved Xander, and that girl was talking about me.

Sadly, that comment got the attention of the group that had been talking about Xander.

The she wolf chuckled, “That’s her actually.

He showed me her picture. Can you imagine her as a Luna?

Covered in blood, beaten up, and dirty. God, no wonder he doesn’t want her.

” The theme of these visits were that he didn’t want me.

I’d just saved the lives of countless people. The side of me that clung to hope latched onto the fact that Xander had my picture, but I shoved that part of me away. He had it to remind him how desperate he was not to have me. He had it though. I wondered what picture it was.

The cool girl replied, “I mean, he’s pretty in the trenches himself. She might actually be perfect for him. Didn’t you hear their pack in here earlier? They were attacked, and I’ll bet she’s the one who stopped their pack from being taken over.”

The wannabe with my mate hit her arm, “I’m so much prettier.

” She was. The cool girl argued, “You are both beautiful. Your attitude is giving her an edge though.” I’d be her new best friend.

The other girl scoffed, “Well, he wants me. We are going to discuss contracts and I’m moving into his Luna suites while we hammer out the details.

” I grabbed the order and ran out because I wasn’t certain what else you do to a shattered heart, but she was going to try.

I took deep breaths staring at my bike. Buck came up beside me. He bashfully offered, “Hey, he’s an idiot. She’s an airhead.” I wiped my tears, “You think I’m…” Buck interrupted, “You don’t know what I think.” I admitted, “I could guess. Everyone down here hates me. I’m the enemy.”

He replied, “I don’t think you’re an enemy.

I think you're highly intelligent, good at fighting, and the only person who makes my job easier. You know full well the past Female Lead Warrior never did a damn piece of paperwork. I know you judge me for keeping my head down and toeing the company line; however, I was the one doing all that stuff to keep this pack afloat before you came onto the leadership team.” I knew that.

I was just shocked he was saying all this.

He added, “I think you’re very smart about almost everything. The thing you lack is street smarts. Some of us know how to keep on moving so we stay alive.” I studied him, “You knew I was taking that route before that concert. You knew they were going to attack Avery and that I’d get to her.”