Page 94 of Sins and Virtue

If that were true, then why was I still here?

Go, leave, and don’t look back, Blair.

Go before it’s too late.

Rationally, my mind knew what was best, but my heart, my body, only desired a taste.

A second of heavenly bliss.

A frozen eternity of pleasure.

The secret seconds stolen in the midst of the night where no one else lived.

With his long fingers entangled in my hair, gripping until my scalp burned, his darkened, molten eyes locked onto me, capturing my whole existence with one gaze, his touch so rough yet filled with yearning, one fixated by only primal desires, the realization hit me.

This wasn’t Kon. Well, part of him at least.

Escape.

My body pulled away from him, yet within his free hand he kept me in place, pinning my waist down, unable to leave this place— to leave him. My back curved into the cold ground beneath me, the surrounding cold air burning against my skin. The night’s shade provided little comfort to the predator’s instinct, and the open greenfield left me barely any option to run and hide.

Violent beats drummed inside my rib cage.

My throat tensed. “I—”

“Too late,” he cut me off and kissed me.

His lips molded, and he took what he sought. What I brazenly offered. Viciously taking his fill as a heavy groan escaped his throat. Molten magma simmered at the rim of my stomach, and rationality faded away as I drew into his touch, taste, and hypnotic appeal. My lips took their turn, drawing into him as my tongue invaded his. Tasting his peppermint and coffee, I held. He was so bitter yet sweet. A conundrum. A blurred fantasy between a cruel reality.

God, he tasted so good.

His teeth dragged on my bottom lip, nipping before he came back for more. Meshing our lips together as my trembling fingers rose and touched his face. His skin was so callous and his kisses so deviant, I never wanted to stop.

I gasped as we broke apart, catching our breaths. “Konstantin?” Our gazes bore into one another, my clothesfeeling too constricting, like my heart was going to tear out from my chest.

“God, you taste how I dreamed,” he grunted, his chest heaving up and down at an erratic pace. “Like my personal heaven.”

There were no words to describe the affliction of chaos in my mind.

“You… you…”

“What, kotyonok, you want to kill me for ruining you? Oh please, I haven’t even started.”

I shook my head, my chest and thighs tight with heated delirium. My vision hazed, and every part of me felt electric. I might have been fucked up in the head, and if I had gone this far, then why not drown in the ravenous waters of madness? If one man was my devastation, let it be this man. I licked my lips, drawing a brief breath, and then smiled. “Kiss me. Ruin me. Do it this once, or you’ll never be able to again.”

“Leaving you untouched, without having tasted you, was never an option.” His fingers trailed down my cheek and his thumb over my lips. “I would have you one way or another.”

Maniacal joy overtakes me as I laugh.

Our two souls circled each other, seeking what seemed forever to entwine our two hells.

I never was really the type for a quiet and practical life. Ever since I was young, in the restlessness of my teens, I’d look for something to fix the craze. Leading to reckless acts of stupidity, heartbreaks, and tears— and every time, I’d run away, run so I wouldn’t feel the pain. Run so I could get out of my head for a while and try to start anew, but it didn’t last for long. In every city, I’d fuck up and leave to go crashing into the next. Always having my mistakes catch up to me.

I guessed I was condemned to this vicious cycle where my only saving grace was to fail, so why not go out with a bang?

My mind was split. I knew the risks and was willing to pay the consequences. But this time, I didn’t want it to be a mistake. I wanted him to be the one thing I didn’t fuck up. I wanted it to be right. I wanted this— whatever it was— to last.

The back of my eyes began to burn as sentimentality wrapped its cord around my heart.