Page 67 of Sins and Virtue

“Weaker?”

He took my hand in his and pressed it to the spot above his beating heart. “Yes, weak. Weak here.”

My cheeks simmered with warmth.

“You mean emotionally?”

He nodded.

“But what about you? You must compliment one another in some way. You have what he lacks, and he has what you don’t.”

“It’s not like that. I only needed his body to stay alive. Otherwise, I would have killed the fucker as well.”

“Ha, you’re bluffing. You must have a weakness. Somewhere? Something? At some point?”

“Never. Nothing.” A reflective glint tattered in his eyes. “Well, not until now.” An innuendo was laced underneath his words.

Wait? Was he saying that I—

No. Right?

The notion of love was so far gone in my mind that it didn’t even make sense to fall in love anymore.

“Shut up!” He gritted forcibly, making me rip my hand from his. “Fuck you, Kon, this is my time.You said enough, now go away.No, this isn’t enough time.” They started to argue with one another as the features of his face started to contort, his brows knitted together just like a person fighting with another.

Several moments of them going back and forth, spewing insults in Russian, until he ended up facing away from me. His shoulders rigid, breathing heavy as he didn’t speak a word.

Uncertainty gnawed at my core.

Wondering who had won the match between the two?

“Kon?” I called out.

“Yes,” he sighed regretfully. “Sorry about that. That dick still doesn’t know how to behave.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“I should have warned you. No one likes to see something like that.”

“You’re not defective.”

“Didn’t you hear a word I said? Didn’t you see for yourself—”

“Never say you’re defective. You are someone who has a mental illness. Just like millions of people around the world. That doesn't make you a monster or anything like that. Do you know what it's called?” My hands touched his, trying to comfort him.

Kon’s eyes landed on our hands and then my eyes. “I went to the doctor once to have it checked because one night Dya lashed out.” He began to confess, his lips thinning into a line. “He went out on a killing spree, murdering whoever got in the way, and I blacked out completely. And that had never happened before. You see, I am the conductor monitoring him, allowing him to take over while he plays in his character. I have rules, guidelines, morals that should never be crossed, and we… had agreed onthat. However, at that time I had no control over my body, and it had dire consequences, so I decided to keep others safe. I went to see multiple doctors. They said it was previously known as split personality, but more modern ones called it dissociative identity disorder.”

“Alright, and are you on any meds?” I needed to know more to see how I could help in any way.

“I was in prison. They did their diligence, and I took them, so it helped moderate my change in alter, but it was not always a guarantee.”

“And how did it make you feel?”

His large shoulder dropped as a sigh fled from his lips. “I’m not sure. You’re the first person I’ve actually talked to about this besides the doctors, obviously. But I don’t know. Dya has always been there, and I can’t imagine a life where he’s not. It’s weird, I know—”

I softly shushed him, not wanting him to talk about himself like that. Ever. “No, it’s not weird. Just because your normality is different doesn’t make it bad. It’s who you’re meant to be.”

His deep blue gaze pooled into mine like a swift tide brushing against the shore. Lingering there intently, patiently— letting its presence be known until it could no longer be ignored.