Page 40 of Sins and Virtue

“Well, they say abstinence makes the heart grow fonder, so it helps in a way.”

“This type of abstinence doesn’t feel good. It just feels like it’s tearing my heart apart, unlike the ones from the body.”

“Hell, tell me about it. Five years and I feel like I—” Her big doe eyes watched me with a sheen of ill curiosity. Maybe it wasn’t correct for me to talk about my urges and hard cock in front of a nun. After all, I was a gentleman and understood the fine lines of respect, so I derailed the conversation, focusing on her instead. “I can’t imagine how it must feel for a virgin.”

She puffed air through her lips. “Who are you calling a virgin, geezer?”

Wait, she wasn’t…

Though I had a suspicion when she mentioned that fucking ex of hers, I kept a sliver of hope. I opened my mouth, my voice soon following awkwardly, “You’re not…”

“Hell, no, I lost my virginity at 16.” A flash of reminiscence crossed her lips. “Good crazy times.”

Well, she didn’t owe me a thing. The illusion was false hope, but it didn’t matter if she fucked a thousand men or women. I’d be the last one.

Twisted jealousy seethed into my head, clouding my judgment when I sensed a misalignment.

Dya, stop fucking with my head.

I’m not saying anything that you— we— don’t already feel.

What you feel and what I feel are two different things. We barely see eye to eye, and you want me to think I like this girl.

We do like her.

Fuck off.

Correction, I’m trying to fuck her.

A long groan fell from my lips. What the hell would I do with this maniac? When an idea entered his head and he wanted it, he would fixate, harass, and even kill until he got what he wanted. Now, his sights were on Blair.

Stop lying to yourself— to me— you can’t deny she is a fascinating woman.

Dya didn’t reason with logic. He only sought his pleasure and feelings.

Even if I wanted her, I couldn’t have her.

Blah, fucking, blah.

“Earth to Konstantin! Earth to Konstantin.” Blair snapped her fingers in my face.

I blinked, focusing all my attention on her.

“What are you thinking about man?” She brought a hand to her hip and propped her chin on her hand.

“Nothing.”

She rolled her eyes, moderating her sass in a low tone. “Liar! You could at least use some originality. You know, for a criminal, you suck. No wonder your ass got caught and booted.”

“Well, it’s better than being dead.”

“Dead? What do you mean?”

“In the mafia you only have two options: you enter and pledge undying loyalty until your last breath, or you die. There’s really no escape.”

“Damn,” she murmured as her lips moved side to side. “So you’re one of the lucky ones?”

A cynical draw of laughter left my lips as I threw my head back. “Lucky, huh? What I would give to go back in time to fix everything; then I wouldn’t need this damnedluck.”