Page 87 of Sins and Virtue

A tight shiver went through her shoulders as she darted her eyes away for a second and back to me.

One second passed when a dooming uncertainty fell in the pit of my chest. My mouth went dry, realizing I never had the chance to speak about myself. To tell my story. To plead to a jury about the life I’d been given and stripped of— a power held over me all my life—and silenced to never say. I burned every secret and added them to the nightmares in my head.

Would she even care if I told her?

Would she believe me?

Would she believe us?

There was no one else in this world I’d confided in. Yet, if she would become my world, I wouldn’t need anyone else. Just her. Only her.

Alright, here goes nothing.

Chapter 13

Konstantin

“I was raised under the careful eyes of nuns.” I began.

The moonlight shone in her eyes, playing the keys of mischievousness. “So you always had a thing for nuns? Glad to know I wasn’t the first.” Blair hassled me as she popped a piece of cheese in her mouth before unfolding the blanket I’d tossed her and draping it across her lap.

The coincidence appeared all too uncanny as I found myself at the very beginning— all the way to her. “Well, it sure wasn’t my intention, but there was no other way to go.”

She snickered a small laugh.

“And what about your parents?”

“I never knew my mother or father.”

Her eyes shied away with tenderness. “I’m sorry, I thought—"

I raised my hand, cutting off her pity party; I’m not a fan of anyone feeling bad for me. “It’s fine. I guess I wasn’t clearenough. I was found as a baby and raised in an orphanage in Russia with no more than this bracelet.” I raised my wrist, raised my sleeve up to my elbow, and showed off a blue handmade threaded bracelet. “I have no memory of either of them, so it doesn’t affect me.”

“Doesn’t it?” Her voice became small and vulnerable as she squeezed her knees to her chest, placing her chin on them.

“My brain works differently. It doesn’t associate the same feelings with people as others do.”

“Still… I can imagine the want… the need to know them.”

An uneasiness rolled over my shoulders as I cracked my neck. “And how could you be so sure? It’s not like you would know what it's like to be raised with no parents and in an orphanage.” As soon as I finished my sentence, her gaze became all glossy as she bit her lower lip, preventing herself from crying.

Shit.

You dense, ugly piece of shit. Stop talking so much. You eedot!

Remorse hit me worse than any crime I’d committed.

To think we came from the same world, yet I could bear the loneliness, but for some reason, I didn’t like that she had too.

“Kotyonok…” my voice dragged off. “What happened?”

“My parents had been in an accident along with another one of my siblings, but none of them made it but… me.” She sounded so disillusioned. “Lucky me.”

“At least, you had time with them.”

She shook her head with lost hope. “But… I don’t remember them. Not a single thing. Not one memory that can give me comfort.” The desperate reminiscence in her voice made a deep sadness swell in my chest. “It’s as if they never existed either way.”

“But they did. If not, you wouldn’t be here.” And I thank the stars, the universe, God himself, because he had saved her… saved her just for me.