Page 63 of Sins and Virtue

Chapter 10

Blair

“Oh my god,” My chest heaved as my legs ran for dear life, zigzagging through the city. Passing through the empty streets with the street lamps barely illuminating them, bumping into a few fellow locals that hung around, apologizing in one breath, not lingering for long.

Oh my god. I can’t believe I just did that.

Why did I do it?

The muscles in my legs were straining, and my veins were burning with adrenaline, my heart drumming in my ears.

I only snuck out of the convent because I had an ill feeling something bad could happen.

“You must really love me,kotyonok.You just assaulted two men for me. That’s a confession within itself.” Konstantin's heavy breath lingered behind me, following my steps back to the monastery.

“Shut up!” I shouted, my nerves shot.

Not stopping. Not thinking. Just darting away from cops.

The unconscious cops that might be dead.

My mind replayed the scene over and over, flashing before my eyes— it wasn’t exactly my plan to have Konstantin fight that dirtbag for my honor, and hating confrontation, I slipped through his fingers, leaving him alone until he took the fight to the street. Where the cops showed up. Noisy little fuckers. They were never truly there when you needed them, only when they liked gossip and wanted to impose their authority. But as they broke the fight apart and I watched him from the dark side of the alley, being confronted, interrogated, and threatened by the police, I couldn’t sit back and watch. I wouldn’t allow it. I wouldn’t allow them to take him away… away from me.

That’s when I took the broken metallic pipe from the alleyway and began to swing, pummeling the living shit out of them until they weren’t resisting anymore.

Suddenly I grew deeply perturbed, a gnawing sensation eating at my consciousness.

Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead.

The mere thought of their lifeless bodies, blood pooling from their brains, rendered me full of fear and paranoid.

Just like that fateful day.

I only did it because I had to. I had to defend him and Konstantin.

Trickles of sweat percolated around my hairline.

Godfuckingdamn, the heaviness weighed upon me as the realization hit that I had killed again. I was a murderer. A woman with blood on her hands, as the only thing I could hear was these scared laws:

Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not lie.

Two of the sacred commandments I had completely recklessly violated.

All because of this Russian stranger with midnight eyes who had a knack for deranged sin. Creating pandemonium wherever he went.

If it weren’t for him, this would have never happened. I would have never left the convent, I would have never lied — no, it’s not his fault, completely. I was the one who decided to keep his essence a secret. To play his compliance. To trust a hopeless man rather than keep my sacred vows.

Truly, not one of the finest ways to start my journey into sisterhood. However, there was also this moral obligation, whether wrong or right, to help Konstantin.

Regardless of his past actions, it wasn’t up to me to decide his salvation.

However, it was hard to tell the truth when I didn’t know what was true anymore.

Thoughts ran rampant, the shame festered on my shoulders, and self-hatred began to plant its ever-growing seed.

Spotting a big old sweet chestnut tree on an upcurved hill right behind the monastery casting an old shadow, which would be a perfect place to hide and where no one would think of visiting, my short legs spurted with an outburst of energy. I sprinted up, stumbling down a few times and rolling over like the Pillsbury doughboy, but my conviction, my necessity to survive and escape, was greater as I got back up and ran again.

“Slow down,you little thing!” He clenched his teeth.