Page 45 of I Can’t Even Think Straight

The Devil You Know

MATT: I’m home.

KAI: Thanks for letting me know. I wish you would’ve let us call Vass’s mum to pick you up.

MATT: It’s all good. I couldn’t have her come just for me. Are you staying there much longer?

KAI: Yes, I think so. Vass is having fun. Obi and I are just chilling.

MATT: Cool. Enjoy the rest of your night then. And try not to communicate with any demons.

KAI: It’s too late for that. I’m already talking to you!

MATT: Do you think you and Obi will have sex tonight?

KAI: No, not tonight.

MATT: You sure? He was all over you before.

KAI: Yes, I’m sure. Why? Is that the real reason you left? You jealous?

MATT: You wish I was jealous! No, it was the tarot cards, like I said.

They freaked me out. Especially the one with the devil on.

That’s definitely against my religion.

KAI: What about being gay? And how is the devil on a tarot card any different from the devil emoji?

MATT: I don’t know. It just is. No offense to SG and Obi’s friends but there’s something off-key about them. If it looks like a coven, calls itself a coven, and does spooky shit like a coven, then it’s probably a coven.

KAI: I see what you’re saying. They’re different to the people you’re used to, but I think they’re harmless, like Obi says. We get lots of customers like them on Mum’s market stall.

MATT: Ah! I see how it is now. You’re trying to drum up business for your mum’s stall?

KAI: I might have mentioned it. Two of them said they’d come by tomorrow.

MATT: But you’re not in the market for Obi’s dick tonight?

KAI: Bye!

MATT: