Page 34 of I Can’t Even Think Straight

Another Detention—After School

“This isn’t fair,” I tell Mr. Ndour,

and The Boys all agree with me,

apart from Kojo, who sits silently.

Mrs. James reported us all to Mr. Ndour

because she didn’t see

which one of us said he was a dickhead.

“Settle down, boys,” says Mr. Ndour.

Like a broken record or a boring song,

Mr. Ndour repeats

the same dry lyrics

day in and day out.

“For fuck’s sake, man,” I say.

“Okay, it was me,” I blurt out.

The classroom falls silent,

and it’s like time stands still.

I know my confession

is wholly unnecessary.

Nathan already told me

The Boys would take the fall with me.

I don’t quite understand

what’s brought on their loyalty to me.

Was it the police stop

and our first detention together?

My coming out as gay

and going to Nicky Anderson’s house party?

Or is it just because

I make them laugh?

Real time resumes.

“Ms. Sarpong’s office.” Mr. Ndour points

to his classroom door.

His nostrils flare a warning.

“Gladly,” I say, and I stand.

My plastic-and-metal school chair

tips and falls backward,

and I can’t be bothered to pick it up.

I pick up my backpack,

which is even heavier now

with one more book,

signed by The Author.

I know better than to throw my backpack.

I know I have a bright future,

no matter what

this one teacher thinks of me.

I step into the empty corridor.

The Boys begin to mutter.

“Silence right now!” Mr. Ndour yells,

and The Boys obey.