Page 17 of I Can’t Even Think Straight

More Hurt Than Angry—After School—Granny’s Kitchen

“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”

T seems more hurt than angry.

“I love you, cuz, and I accept you.”

“It wasn’t the right time,” I say, embarrassed.

Of course T loves and accepts me.

“I hear you, cuz, and I respect that,

but I stopped seeing Jyoti because of it.

And now you’ve come out at school,

she thinks it makes everything cool.”

“Well, I guess it’s cool with me,” I say.

I knew I was coming out to the entire school

by coming out in the lunch hall

where anyone could’ve overheard.

“Do you wanna get back with her?” I ask.

“I do.” T sighs. “But it’s not that simple.

I’m already talking to two other girls.”

“Well, can’t you just tell them

you’re getting back with your girlfriend?”

“Whoa! Whoa! Slow down, cuz.

Jyoti wasn’t exactly my girlfriend.

We were just seeing each other,

and when you’re seeing someone

you can still talk to other people,

unless you’ve both agreed not to,

and then you’re basically saying

you wanna be boyfriend and girlfriend.”

T pauses and grins as he realizes.

“Or boyfriend and boyfriend, in your case.”

“Are you giving me dating advice?” I ask.

“Are you dating anyone?” T grins again.

“Not yet, but there’s this new boy at bouldering...”

I hear Granny’s keys in the front door.

T’s eyes flash to the door as well.

We silently decide to drop the conversation.

“Help me with my trolley!” hollers Granny.

“Coming, Granny!” T and I say in unison.

The Twins block my path

and jump up for hugs

as Granny lugs her trolley

over the threshold.

“Leave it, Granny,” says T,

too commandingly.

“You go in, Granny,” I say gently.

“We’ll bring the shopping in and unpack it.”

I reach down to Olivia and Sophia

and sweep them up into my arms.

“Right after I get some hugs and kisses.”