Page 35 of HER SISTER

Within seconds, I was luckily able to locate Mili through the large crowd—and I didn't even hesitate to follow behind her.

I managed to follow her all the way up to the third floor, which was slightly empty, but there were still a few groups of people up here.

Mili suddenly walked out onto one of the empty balconies, but not before she turned her head slightly to motion me to follow her out—clearly aware that I had followed her.

And I didn't even hesitate to walk out there with her, firmly shutting the door behind us as Mili leaned against the balcony with her arms crossed over her chest.

She looked mad—and I mean genuinely mad.

Typically, it's never visible on her, but with her furrowed brows and clenched jaw, it was painfully obvious that she wasn't the happiest right now.

"Are you kidding me right now?" was the first thing that Mili managed to say.

And even by her lowered tone, it was clear that she was really trying to keep it together.

I gave her a narrowed look, "Really? You're going to ask me that after you just linked with your ex without telling me or answering any of my texts?" I said, feeling as if this was all a little unfair.

Mili laughed to herself, but it was far from genuine.

It kind of seemed like she only laughed to help force herself to calm down.

"You don't trust me," she suddenly said.

I couldn't help but scoff, "I don't trust you? You're mad that I was out on the balcony with Cam," I pointed out.

Mili's jaw managed to grow even tighter, "I don't care about you being around her, Atiana," she pointed out, taking in a deep breath before she said, "It's the fact that you hesitated—that she asked you to go there and you hesitated."

I blinked a few times, realizing that she had made a good point.

I did hesitate when I shouldn't have.

But all I could seem to say was, "I didn't see you hesitating to link up with Alyssa."

And just like that, Mili was looking away from me, but not in shame—more like she just couldn't stand to look at me right now.

And the action alone made me want to cry.

"I was linking up with her to tie up loose ends," Mili explained before she suddenly looked at me and said, "I was going to officially ask you to be my girlfriend."

And just like that, my anger dissolved into even more confusion.

"What?" I forced out, clearly taken aback by the new information.

Mili hummed tightly, "It was supposed to be a surprise, which is why I didn't want you to know—I mean, Mya only knew because she wouldn't stop blowing up my phone to see where I was," she said, but I could only feel myself grow even more speechless.

Mili was going to ask me to be her girlfriend.

She was having a closure talk with Alyssa.

"I was going to tell you after the fact, but I just wanted everything to be good enough for you. I didn't want Alyssa trying to come back around," Mili suddenly said, and I couldn't help but reach out for her—suddenly hating that I assumed the worst.

Mili suddenly leaned away from my touch, which easily made my brows furrow.

"Clearly, this was all a huge miscommunication," I said, knowing that this could've been avoided with a simple conversation.

Mili only sighed, "Is it just that though?" she questioned, shaking her head as she said, "You don't trust me—and how can I trust you when you're hesitating to say no to someone who also has feelings for you?"

I shook my head, "I was just caught off guard—I've been drinking too," I tried to explain.

But Mili obviously wasn't going for my explanation when she said, "Don't lie to me, Atiana."

And just like that the tense air was completely silent as I stared wordlessly at Mili who was looking right back at me.

Well, before I suddenly looked down at the balcony under my feet—which easily earned a rough sigh from Mili.

"But I like you—I have feelings for you," I suddenly said, looking back up at her as she shook her head at me.

"But you like her too," Mili concluded.

And just like that, tears were gathering in my eyes, knowing I couldn't lie and say I didn't like her as well.

"But I want to be with you—"

I cut myself short when Mili suddenly turned away from me, clearly upset by my answer.

I blinked away my tears, reaching out for Mili who refused to look at me.

And surprisingly enough, she didn't lean away from me, instead, she let my hand rest on her shoulder, which easily gave me hope that this was fixable.

Well, until she said, "I think we should take a step back."

And just like that, my tears were coming down even faster—not being able to imagine ending all of this with her.

I didn't want to spend my mornings alone or cook dinner in an empty kitchen—I wanted to go to sleep by her side and wake up to her beautiful face.

I wanted to do the things that we hadn't gotten to do yet—like walk to class together or even hang out with Mya who finally knew about us and accepted it.

"Milan, please don't do this," I forced out between tears.

I might have unresolved feelings for Cam, but it will always be Mili.

I'll only want her.

Cam is kind of like that one person, who's really nice—almost too nice, and everything feels too easy.

There's no chemistry or attraction with Cam, she's kind of just there.

And maybe subconsciously a part of me wanted to go the easy route for the sake of Mya and my friends.

It felt like the choice I was supposed to make.

But I could really only see myself with Mili—we have our ups and downs and it's not easy, but I don't want it to be too easy or perfect.

Mili suddenly turned around to face me, and this time she looked less angry. Instead, her expression was neutral.

Like she had come to terms with what had to happen next.

"It's just one big circle with us—anytime we take even a step forward, we're somehow taking three steps back," Mili said, reaching up to cup my face as she gently wiped away my tears.

And I could only manage to cry harder as she held me, hating the moment when she took the dreadful step back.

"I'm so sorry I made a mistake—please can we just work it out?" I forced out.

Mili pursed her lips into a frown, "I made a mistake too—I should've told you about Alyssa.

.. but that's not what any of this is about," she explained as she wiped even more of my tears away, "You don't trust me and I'm not sure I can trust you now—we just keep going in these back and forth circles, and I just..

." she suddenly trailed off as she let out a deep sigh, "I just don't think this is good for either of us. "

I only shook my head, "But you know it's different between us—I know you feel it too, Milan."

Mili nodded once, "Yeah, but it doesn't change our circumstances," she whispered.

I let out a broken sigh when she suddenly leaned down to press a gentle kiss on my forehead.

And before I could say anything else, she was backing away from me before heading back into the packed house where the mood one hundred percent contrasted mine.

There's absolutely no way in hell that I could go back inside to that party right now.

Not with how messed up my makeup was and how I couldn't even begin to stop crying.

I suddenly grabbed my phone from my clutch, typing rapidly as I wiped my messy tears.

And as I sent Mya the text that excused me from the party with the lie that I just didn't feel good—I seemingly felt my stomach grow hollow.

Even if I had been drinking, I knew my nausea wasn't from the alcohol.

I seriously can't believe this just happened.

I let out a broken cry as I wiped more of my tears away—quickly trying to gather myself as I ordered an Uber.

And I knew once I was in the comfort of my own room that I would be climbing under my covers and never coming out.

Well, unless it involved school.

I let out a deep sigh, gathering my nerves yet again as a nearby Uber was confirmed.

I genuinely just wanted to go to Mili's and lay in her arms for hours on end.

But that's not an option, and clearly, it's never going to be.

We're over... for good this time.