Page 256 of Fragments

Gulp. No. No no no…

He’s fine. He has to be. There’s no other option.

By some minor miracle, I didn’t die out there. I washed up on shore, alive. So he has to be alive too.

If I survived, and he didn’t… Well, I’ll slice my wrists open right here and end it all.

Fear racks me with shivers, the overwhelming nature of everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours piling on top of me like I’ve been buried alive. Anguished sobs leave my lips, tears streaming down my cheeks while I shuffle around like a zombie… in search of my love.

My only fucking everything in the whole world… Lexington.

Baby, where are you??

Sniffling, I glance around, forcing myself to get it together andthink. I’m obviously in New York. It’s the only logical explanation, but where? New York is huge, and there are tons of beaches. Wandering a few more yards, I see some houses. They’re not Hamptons houses, so this can’t be Montauk.

Climbing up a dune to get a better look from higher ground, I spot the ferries.

Yea… This is Orient Point.

My eyes scan the area, but I don’t see anything else. No sign of the boat.

No sign of Lex.

A distraught whimper leaves me, as I wander aimlessly, with no clue what to do or where I’m going. I’m just… lost.

“Hey… are you alright?” a male voice calls out, and I jump, peering over my shoulder.

An older man is walking a dog along the beach, coming toward me.

“Y-yea…” I grumble, wiping my nose. “You h-haven’t seen a guy around here, have you? A kid with a shaved head…”

He stares at me like I’m insane for a moment before shaking his head. “No… You need some help? You don’t look so good… You must be freezing.”

“Never mind,” I grunt, stalking away from him toward the road.

This isn’t good. I can’t draw any unwanted attention to myself.

I need to get cleaned up and maybe find a boat so I can go out and look for Lex. Or maybe I should call the hospital, or…

I hear the man speaking, and I turn again to find him on the phone.

Shit… He’s calling the cops.

I take off running. Sprinting as fast as my tired legs will take me, following the road until I get to a neighborhood. Then I slink between some houses for cover. My mental state is frayed to shreds. I’m only fifty percent sure this is actually happening right now. For all I know, I’m in a coma in some hospital, having a terrible, awful fever nightmare.Or maybe I’m dead…

Fuck this.

Fuck fucking this.

This all my fucking fault.

It was my idea to get on that goddamn boat and try to escape during a storm that broke Alabaster Pen in half. What was I thinking?!

We should’ve just stayed, in our safe, comfortable little prison bubble, locked away from all the hassle and bullshit of the outside world.

No… They were trying to kill us. We could’ve died there just as easily.

This is just what I deserve.