Page 156 of Fragments

But I don’t feel it. I actually laugh because it’sfunny.

I don’t feel the pain anymore.

It’s just a part of me.

Ren the gorgeous disease, infecting everyone around him.

Voices are echoing. Hands are touching me.

I think I feel Lex… Ihearhim…

But it can’t be him. He doesn’t care what happens to me. I hurt him, and he’ll never forgive me.

He’llneverbe mine, no matter how badly I want him.

Suddenly, I’m hoisted up out of my seat by large arms. Cuffs and shackles are fastened on my wrists and ankles.

I pry my eyes open, vision blurred with tears. Velle is holding me up, and I can barely make out what he’s saying over the mess in my head, the ragged sobs of laughter I’m choking out. But when I catch the wordEast, my lips tremble with fear.

Velle is hauling me away as my frantic gaze lands on the table, where my friends are staring. And Lex is sitting right where I was, chewing on his bottom lip while vibrant green worry glistens up at me.

“I’msorry,” I whimper to him one last time before a needle is stuck into my neck, and everything goes black.

I always assumed I’d end up here eventually.

The East Wing is where they bring the most fucked up inmates in Alabaster Pen, and I’m nothing if not a complete and total mess.I’m their prime target.

I actually have no idea how long I’ve been down here. It feels like months, but is probably no more than a couple of weeks. Still, it’s exactly as awful as I knew it’d be.

I spend most of my days laced up in a straitjacket, in a padded cell with no furniture, just wandering around in circles, waiting for the guys in white lab coats to show up and fuck with me some more.

They’ve done it all, from electroshock therapy, to miscellaneous bloodwork, to dosing me with hallucinogens. I’ve lost count of how many polygraph tests they’ve given me, and how much sodium pentathol they’ve injected me with. The last time they did it, the Warden himself showed up to watch. I don’t know if they got what they wanted, but I think the needle snapped off the machine and it broke because they haven’t given me another one since.

The worst part of being down here is that I don’t have access to any of my stuff, nor have I been able to seduce any of the doctors or orderlies into giving me things. But I did get to come a few times, during their bizarre sexual stimulation tests. It was like a brief field trip from the torture. Not that any of the doctors are good-looking. They’re all trolls, especially the red-headed fuck who stuffed a twelve-inch long, three-inch thick dildo inside me and put clamps on my nipples.

Naturally, I got off, but still.He was gross and a little too into the whole thing, if you ask me.

Anyway, when I saw Velle outside my cell window, I foolishly thought it meant I would be getting out of here. But then he brought me into one of the exam rooms and cuffed me to a chair. So I really have no idea what’s going on.

“What’s going on?” I ask him, exhausted and partially hallucinating from all the torture and experiments and lingering drugs in my system. “When can I leave?”

“Soon,” he grumbles, rifling through a drawer.

“Hey… Jonathan,” I put on my sexiest voice, hoping to lure him in. “If you get me outta here, I’ll let you come inside me. Hm? You can just lie back if you want, and I’ll do all the work. Please?”

His face slants slightly in my direction, dark, pierced eyebrow quirking in that cocky asshole way he always does.

I swear, I love to hate the guy. He’s just sohot, it almost makes up for how treacherous he is.

“Keep that offer on deck, inmate.” He smirks, holding something in his hand. “You’re getting out right now.”

Relief washes over me, and I breathe out steadily. “Oh, thank God…”

“But I’ve been instructed to put this on you first.” He steps over to me, holding up what looks like a cock cage; steel casing, with a little lock and everything.

“Fuck me…” My eyes widen. “Why?? Haven’t you done enough?!”

“Your beef isn’t with me, darling,” he sighs, tugging my pants and boxers down to reveal my flaccid dick.