Page 107 of Fragments

“I told you, I’m going to be whatever you need. To help you figure out what you want.” I tilt my head at his look of horror. “You’ve never had sex with a girl… I’ll pretend to be one so you can see what it’s like.”

He’s gaping at me like I’m insane for several seconds in silence before he bursts out laughing. “Ren… I’m sorry, but that’s fuckingnuts.”

“Why is it nuts??”

“Because you’re not a girl!” He cackles. “I didn’t think I needed to specify that.”

I sigh. “True, we’re only working with what we have. But I can pretend. I don’t mind. I used to do all kinds of things like this for my clients at Edge…”

“This is fucked.” He rubs his eyes. “Iknowyou’re not a girl…”

I tap on his forehead with my fingertip. “Use your imagination, smartypants.”

He squints at me. “Doesn’t it feel… different?”

I purse my lips. “Honestly… I’m not sure.” He scoffs, and I gasp, “But neither are you! So it won’t matter. You can just pretend, and it’ll help. I promise.”

He’s just chuckling, shaking his head, cheeks blushed from the nature of this conversation. But then his amusement slips away, and he swallows. “I’m not… I don’t know if…”

Shifting beside him, I take his hands in mine and pull him into me until he’s forced to sit on my lap. He looks beyond nervous, but I hold his taut body in place, all long limbs and sharp cuts of muscle beneath my cherishing touch.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I whisper in his ear. “Tell me and I’ll fix it.”

“I’m just… This is all moving really fast,” he shivers. “I don’t think I can have… sex with you, Ren. You’re my friend. It’s gonna get weird.”

“It won’t be weird,” I murmur, gently nipping the sweet, warm flesh of his neck.

“You don’t know that…” he hums. “What if something happens, and we end up hating each other? I can’t… lose you. I have no one else in here.”

My heart is chipping and cracking in my chest, the trembling fear in his words reaching inside me, to a place I thought was hollowed out empty before. I can’t believe I’ve actually found this… Someone who trulycaresabout me. Someone who wantsme, for who I am.

He’s saying no to sex because he wants tokeepme?? That doesn’t even make sense…

No one haseverwanted Ren the person before. It’s so overwhelming, that for a second of pure terror, I feel like I’m falling. Out of the sky, plummeting down through the clouds, into a dark, scary abyss of the unknown.

This guy is so stupendously different from anyone I’ve ever been with before, and I know he’s right. I know Ishouldhang onto this, and try my hardest not to screw it up like I always do.

Don’t destroy the good with your bad.

Don’t burn this down.

But I’m also selfish, and evil, and I want himsobadly. I want to be his everything, not just his friend. And if that means taking this chance, then I can’t stop myself from grabbing it and squeezing with all my might to hold on.

We’re already in Hell. Whether it’s wrong or not, I will keep Lex Luthor Deon here so he can burn with me forever.

“You’re never going to lose me, Lex,” I tell him with certainty. “Whatever happens, I’ll always be right here with you. That part won’t change.” He nods, reluctantly, but still. I’m getting through to him. “I just want you to be happy. I don’t want you always wondering, you know?”

I want you to see that I can be what you want, no matter what.

He’s stiff for only a few more seconds, before his fingers twitch, gradually grazing my shoulder. “Can we try something else…? Not sex…” His voice trails, but my heart and dick simultaneously jump when he adds a breathy, “Yet.”

“We can do whatever you want to do, gorgeous,” I hum, kissing a slow line up his throat.

I’m trying so hard to calm myself down, but it’s difficult when he’s just the sweetest, sexiest shy boy with a hot, hard body I’ve ever come across in my twenty-two years of life. Grasping his jaw, I pull his mouth to mine, kissing him hungrily. He falls into it so easily, like he missed me too, our mouths working up sensual sucks, panting breaths over one another’s lips. His tongue pushes between mine first and I growl, licking him, tasting him, his excitement and his fear, so delicious it’s like the most decadent dessert ever created.

Before I know it, I’m horizontal, and he’s grinding into me while we makeout like horny teenagers. It’s occurring to me that maybe this is all he’s ever done, because he seems to like the kissing, and the touching, his hands sliding up into my shirt to curiously caress the lines and curves of my muscles.

His cock is already like stone. I’m fuckingobsessedwith everything about it. Sure, I’ve snuck my fair share of peeks in the showers, but seeing and feeling it, up close and sohard, is a revelation. His dick is just so big and beautiful. Pale enough to accentuate those lickable veins and that blushed pink head.