Page 129 of Fragments

And I guess that’s becauseheshowed up, just like Dash was hoping.

Crawling back to my own bed, I curl up and let my eyelids droop. But something rustling beneath my pillow has me reaching underneath.

It’s one of the wrappers from the mints he likes.

That’s weird… How did that get up here?

Shrugging it off, I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

We’ll just keep the making out to ourselves for now.

It’ll be our little secret…Me, and Dash’s Officer.

See? I knew it.

I justknewthe good vibes would erode in this fucking place. And here I was going on and on about howhappyI was, like some prison noob.

I’ve been here too long to fall for that shit. Good things never last in Alabaster Penitentiary.

Ren and Kang are arguing about something, playfully shoving each other back and forth like very muscular children, but I can’t even focus on how cute it is. I’m too busy watching Dash.

He looks exhausted as he fidgets in his seat, tearing tiny chunks off of a piece of bread to make a pile of discarded food he’s not even eating. He seems more anxiously despondent than usual, and I feel purely awful… Because I think it’s all my fault.

I kinda lost my cool with him last night.

And I’m not talking about the inadvertent makeout session with his split personality.

After that whole thing happened, it was painfully clear to me that Dash’s mind is quite sick. But even knowing that, I—one of hisonlyfriends—yelled at him when he was just trying to talk about his feelings.

Yea, I know. I’m a total dick.

Last night, I was in a mood, I guess. Not to shift responsibility or anything, but it was sort of Ren’s fault.We’ll just blame him for everything, it’s fine. He’s used to it.

At dinner, Kang was voicing some more concern about the fact that we haven’t seen O’Malley in two months, and Ren, the emotional kamikaze pilot he is, decided to bring up Landon and Freeman in the same goddamn breath. He bummed us all out, and to top it off, I came back to our cell to work on the computer only for it to start giving me grief.

Certain pieces weren’t fitting, the power supply box was weak, and the CPU was proving to be a giant turd. I was frustrated… Probably more with Ren than anything else. So when Dash started talking shit about how we shouldn’t be stuck in here forever, soundingwaytoo much like Landon, I just snapped.

It wasn’t a huge fight or anything. I just bitched at him for a second, and we didn’t talk for the rest of the night, falling asleep in tense, awkward silence. I apologized to him first thing this morning, and he seemed totally cool about it. He claimed it was fine, almost like he’d forgotten about our argument altogether. But all day since, he’s been acting weird.

Maybe it’s not my fault… It might have something to do with his disorder, but I still feel bad. I can’t shake this feeling that he’s mad at me. And after I knowingly made out with him while he was in the midst of a major psychological episode, I’m wallowing in some serious guilt.

I mean, who the hell makes out with their best friend while he’s suffering like that? Sure, he started it, but still. I’m the level-headed one.Ishould’ve stopped it. And I definitely shouldn’t have barked at him when he was just trying to talk, taking out my frustrations on someone in need of my help.

I’m a shitty friend, and a terrible human being.

Ren stands up, distracting me from Dash-watch. “I’m heading back early to set up,” he sighs, poking Dash on the jaw. “See you in a few, peaches.”

Dash shows him a tiny smile, though it definitely looks strained.

Ren winks at me before wandering off, my eyes following him until he’s out of sight. Then I’m back on Dash.

“That’s right… You’re getting inked today,” I murmur to him, casually supportive. “Are you excited?”

His eyes finally slink up to mine, a genuine smile sloping on his mouth. “Yea… Actually, I am. It’s been a while.”

“Ren’s good,” Kang says with his mouth full. “The gun isn’t great with fine lines, but his script work is excellent. You know what you’re getting?”

Dash’s lips part to answer, but then he pauses for a second. “I have an idea… I don’t know, it might be stupid.”