Page 143 of Fragments

I don’t know what it means. I don’t think he does either…

But there is absolutelyno wayI can let him go without more neck kisses and unspoken words of truth.

3 years ago…

Iused to think the reason I was so slow-moving with girls was because I’m shy as hell, and I overthink everything to death. But as it turns out, maybe it’s because none of those girls were… boys.

Or maybe it’s because none of them wereRen.

Officially, Ren and I are still just friends. But we’re also hooking up, and I can’t lie…I’m Mickey D’s lovin’ it.

At the same time, I’m wary of letting this thing go any further, because Ren is complicated as shit, like a jigsaw puzzle that’s missing a bunch of pieces. I’m not sure he’s someone I should be interested in…

Not because he’s a guy. That fact really isn’t throwing me as much as you’d think, although I do find myself staring at the ceiling an awful lot at night wondering how the hell I ended up liking dick.

Have I always been interested in guys, and I just didn’t know it? Or did Ren literally badger me into becoming bisexual?

If anyone could do it…

The thing is, despite his many issues, Iamvery much attracted to him. Not just physically, though I’ve certainly fallen into the spell of just how beautiful he is. From his silky dark hair that, thankfully, he’s somehow convinced Joy to let him keep for a while, to his striking topaz eyes. That perfect dreamboat smile, and hisbody… It’s the kind of body even straight guys can’t resist.

Warren Xavier is a bi-curious dude’s wet dream.

But more than his blinding hotness, I’m attracted to who he is. Who hereallyis, not the hot mess everyone else sees. Because if you’re brave enough to wade through the murky waters of all his problems, you’ll find someone truly wonderful.

And now he might be my… boyfriend?

Maybe. Not yet… We’ll see.

Dating in prison is like being in a long-distance relationship when you’re right next to each other. While we got away with hanging out alone those few times, this place isn’t a college dorm. You can’t just come and go as you please, sneaking into each other’s cells for late night makeout sessions and slow blowies. And with Ren no longer servicing the guards, they’re much less inclined to put their asses on the line for him.

Still, we’ve managed some workarounds. The other day, after lunch, he pushed me into a dark corner and kissed me so dizzy, I had to grip onto his waist for fear I’d fall down from the vertigo.

He draws me pictures—some sweet, some dirty—and sneaks them to me in the hall. We hold hands under the table at lunch, and when no one’s looking, he kisses my neck, letting those brazen fingers slide a little too close to my crotch. All in secret, of course, keeping the affection away from prying eyes as much as we can.

Plus, sneaking around is supremely hot.

Whatever we’re doing, we’ve agreed to take it slow. But then there are instances when we just can’t ourselves.

Like right now, in the showers…

I mean, come on.We shower next to each otherevery day. I don’t know of any new couple, official or not, who’d be able to resist that kind of play time, no matter how many people might be around. Plus, inmates are always fucking in the showers. It’s not exactlynews. They’re just a lot lessaffectionatewhen they do it.

Let’s be clear, though. Ren and I arenotfucking.Yet…

That’s not to say I don’t want to, but it’s a big move for me, and I’m still afraid it’ll change things. Every step we take is nerve-racking. I live in constant fear that Ren will get bored with me and go back to his default setting of hooking up with everyone. He hasn’t given me any reason to think it’ll happen, but that doesn’t stop me from overanalyzing his every movement.

Times like this put my mind at ease, though. We’re in the showers, washing up while peeking at each other, being about as subtle as two Mack trucks headed for a collision.

Ren is biting his lip like he’s in pain, watching my hands move over my own flesh. Never one to deny himself, he quickly gives up the coquette, glancing left, then right to make sure no one’s paying attention before he pushes his way under my shower head.

“I think we should conserve water,” he growls in my ear while taking over my washing to do it himself. “It’s more environmentally conscious.”

“Mmm… You’re so green, baby,” I tease, grinning with my eyes shut, basking in the feeling of his fingers gliding along my wet skin.

“That’s me,” he murmurs, sucking on my neck with his hand around my cock. “Captain Planet.”

I chuckle, cupping and squeezing his ass. I swear to God, he has the nicest butt ever. It’s so firm and round, plump and juicy, like a peach.Total hot guy butt.