Page 124 of Fragments

Fuckin straight guys.

“I don’t want to get in the middle of you two…” Byron sighs, even though that’s literally exactly where he is.

I reach over his chest, taking Lex’s hand in mine. “You’re not a wedge, love. You’ve been keeping us together.”

“Good,” he yawns sleepily. “’Cause I’d rather kill myself than date either of you.” Lex snorts. “Plus… I’m totally straight.” I cackle, and Byron grins. “What?”

Weeks later…

Not that I’m a pessimist or anything, but sometimes it’s hard to admit when things are going well. I always feel like acknowledging when life is good is just asking for it to all suddenly blow up in your face.

Do me a favor, if you see me floating away, just grab my ankle and pull me back down to earth. Please and thank you.

Since that ridiculous, hot, sexy, foolhardy romp I had with Kang and Ren, the vibes around here have been surprisingly good. Things actually didn’t get weird, at least it doesn’t feel like they did. We’ve all been hanging out like we used to, and believe it or not, Ren has been great.

Of course, he’s still insufferably flirtatious. It’s just the way he is, but he seems to be directing it more at us than anyone else, which is good and bad.

Either way, I’m not getting my hopes up for anything, and like I told him that day, we arenotstarting back up again. We’re still just friends, even if it’s admittedly nice to spend time with him the way we used to, before he fucked everything up and made me hate him.

And maybe the platonic nature gets fuzzy sometimes when I remember how kissing him the other day set fire to my insides. But that’s true of most things that are bad for you. I just need to remember the steps of my sobriety and stay strong.

I will not relapse on my fuckboy best friend.

After all, Ren doesn’t change. We know this.

Him apologizing and getting a taste of his own medicine was all well and good, but he’s stillhim. So, I give it a week. He’ll fall back into his usual ways, and when he does, I refuse to be upset about it. There’s only so much back and forth, toxic bullshit I can partake in before I become just as complicit as he is.

Ya know… fool me once, et cetera…

Outside of all that, it’s good to feel settled for a change. I was able to get my hands on some spare computer parts to build my machine, and the craziest thing is that no one had to suck anyone off to get them.

I know, right? What dimension am I in??

Joy actually agreed to sneak me some old junk from the control rooms in exchange for a tattoo from Ren, and a promise that I wouldn’t do anything stupid with this device.

Her exact words were,“If you get caught or fuck anything up, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you.”

I laughed at her, though she wasn’t even cracking a smile.“But wedoknow each other… No one would believe that.”

She just rubbed her eyes and sighed,“Lord, beer me strength.”

I like her. She’s one of the best people on this rock, by a Stevie Nicks Landslide.

So with that, I’ve got a decent mock-up going on my janky alpha LOIS, and Ren keeps teasing that he’s going to tattooTwat Waffleon Joy in Korean, but Kang won’t tell him how to write it, which causes some pretty hilarious bickering between them.

Good times.

Still, it wouldn’t be Alabaster Pen without distress festering beneath the surface. We’re all still wondering about the state of O’Malley, especially after Dash said he saw him in the East Wing getting old Mister Shocky.

He also told us he saw Darcey down there too, who didn’t look any better. None of us really know Darcey that well, but Dash never hesitates to vouch for him. I guess they formed some kind of bond in solitary. Now Dash is worried about this fancy shrink they’re sending in to study his pal, The Carver.

Honestly, I don’t blame him. If the East Wing doctors are as sadistic as we all know they are, then I can onlyimaginewhat kinds of fucked-up shit this mysterious Psych Superstar hand-picked by Manuel Blanco will be like.

It’s not looking good for anyone in the padded cells. Prisoners rarely come back from the East. Landon, my last cellmate, is a perfect example. He started to lose his shit, talking all crazy about wanting to break out, just like Toby did. It was that behavior that got him sent to the East, and the official story is that he’sstill down there.

But off the record, just like with Parker, we all know it isn’t true.

Summer is upon us, a bittersweet time here that’s much more bitter than sweet. On the plus side, it’s less freezing during the summer months, and when it gets hot outside, this building still manages to stay cool, like it has built-in AC thanks to all the concrete and lack of windows. But the downside is we never get to actuallyenjoythe nice weather. Over the years, we’ve begged and pleaded with Joy to take us outside, even just for a few minutes. We told her she could chain us to a tree if she wanted to. But her answer is always the same…