Page 61

A deep, placating numbness washes over me as Bordeaux retraces our steps from ten years ago; through the forest and into the clearing.

No part of me wants to relive the night that’s stuck with me for years, that plagues my nightmares and haunts my dreams. I know what waits for me is death, either my own or someone else’s, at least that’s what they think.

There’s a calmness in my heart, a steadiness in my nerves, for I have never felt so at peace.

I am going to die.

And I’ve accepted that.

I will not take another innocent life over my own again. I will not submit to the Devil’s demands. May promised to watch over Ash and that’s the most I can hope for.

The icy gusts of wind fight hard to bite through every inch of my skin, but I feel absolutely nothing.

That is until the flickering flames of torches cast a spotlight on the only thing that can break me, that can force me to feel more than I’ve ever wanted to; Ash .

She sits on her haunches, shoulders dropped forward, hands tied resting in her lap with her head bowed. Her golden hair curtains her hidden face, long and tangled with dirt and leaves.

As I approach with a caution I did not feel before, her head rises and her glassy blue eyes latch onto mine like a lifeline. Every single repressed emotion is a bullet to the chest, shooting straight for my heart. The crippling pain is enough to bring me to my knees.

The urge to crawl to her, lift her onto my lap, and cradle her until this is all over hits strong and hard.

What also hits strong and hard is Bordeaux’s fist. The unexpected impact throws me to the ground, my already bruised face now weeping with more blood.

Shock paralyzes me for moments on end and suddenly, I feel as if I’m underwater.

Ash’s screams are muffled and my eyes blur.

My body lifts in the air, feet hovering just above the ground as my face comes level with Bordeaux’s.

The scent of spoiled trash wafts from his mouth as his lips part to speak.

“That?” He points behind him to Ash. “That ain’t yours anymore.”

“Put the boy down, Bordeaux.” Father orders.

Reluctantly, I’m lowered to my feet as the world spins around me.

“Do you know why you’re here, son?”

Father creeps towards me and as he does, Bordeaux’s hand weighs my shoulder down enough to force me on my knees again. Black beady eyes stare down at me, his hands clasped behind his back.

I don’t respond earning a whack to the side of my head, a thick palm clashing against my ear, eliciting a groan.

“You have betrayed the family, Oliver. We took you in, we raised you despite all your deplorable sins. Do you think the world would be so accepting if they knew of the vile things you’ve done?”

Things he made me do.

My head sags, the muscles inside my body struggle as pain bleeds into every nerve. I guess it doesn’t matter though because Bordeaux fists a handful of my hair, yanking my head to meet Father’s gaze.

“Oliver, you’ve been welcomed home with unearned grace. I am willing to offer you penance, grant you a second chance with your family. I’m willing to offer you a deal to repent for your unfaithfulness.”

My eyes flick past Father to Ash wondering how much it would hurt her should I still decide to die.

“Would you like to hear the deal, Oliver?”

I answer with a glare.

He crouches down, his red cloak bunching at the ground, his whiskered face inches from mine.

My fingers twitch, aching to wrap around his sagging throat.

There’s nothing I would love more than to steal his last breath, to watch as the life fades from his blackened eyes.

To see how excited he is to spend eternity in the hell he’s worshipped.

“Rejoin your family, live the life you were always meant to live and this young dear-” he gestures to Ash without breaking his stare from mine, “-will keep her life.”

My eyes narrow, “That’s it?”

His smirk tells me it’s not.

“After you sacrifice what’s most important to you.”

Naturally, my eyes find Ash again.

“What do you mean?”

His head turns to stare at her as well, that smirk turning into a demonic grin.

“You can both live happily ever after. You with the family and the girl with me. ”

Bile churns in my stomach threatening to punch its way out of my throat. I know exactly what he means. It doesn’t escape me that Ash resembles all the girls he’s ever tortured by branding them with his children.

A sob tears through her, stabbing me straight through the heart.

I’d rather suffer through an endless stream of blows from Bordeaux’s rock of a fist, than to watch Ash fall apart.

I’d rather die than let her be subjected to a life of defilement and misery.

If those were my options, I’d happily accept.

But stuck between Satan and God, in a purgatory where I’m utterly forgotten or maybe even unforgiven, I find that those choices live as unanswered prayers.

Defiance blares brightly in every feature on my face, brighter than the torches’ fire. It’s enough for Father to know my answer without even having to speak it.

“Then your other choice is to sacrifice her life for yours.” His tone plummets, cold and harsh.

“Take my life instead.” I offer.

“Oliver, no!” Ash screams at me, pleading repeatedly as Father contemplates the exchange.

He stands, towering over me. His shadow engulfs my body swallowing me in his malice.

“That simply will not do.” He decides. “That teaches you no lessons in loyalty. Makes you prove nothing. It doesn’t even guarantee the girl’s life for fuck's sake!”

Panic slides down my throat like broken glass as I suck in useless breaths.

Think! Think! Think!

FUCK!

“What will it be, son?” He sneers, his hand brushing up against his robe, revealing a silver glint.

I stand, knowing my answer.

“I won’t be able to live with the sight of her by your side.” I growl, the thought of her ending up like May causing my stomach to roil.

“Then you’ve made your choice.”

He steps to the side allowing full view of Ash crumpled to the ground. Her tears have hardened into ice on her cheeks, her lashes frosty like fresh snow on the limb of a tree.

“I can’t.” I choke, my breath wavering as I stare at the love of my life.

“I’ve given you your choices.” Father reminds me softly.

He pulls out the knife tucked under his robe, holding it across both his palms like an offering.

For as long as I’ve known him, there have been two things that he lusts after; blood and a sadistic fuck and I’ll be damned if I let Ash live a life only knowing the latter.

“I’d be doing her a favor.” The words creep past my lips on a whisper.

Father smiles encouragingly. “If you say so, son. Though, I don’t think she’d mind spending the rest of her life by my side.”

The thought rakes down my skin like razor blades, gruesome and gutting. With hands shaking from violent tremors, I take the knife, the golden handle cold to the touch.

Whimpers and sobs swim through my head, Ash’s fear palpable. She knows I’ve done this before; she knows I’ve chosen myself in the past and now she questions if I’ll do it again.

My body quivers, but I barely notice. As I take the first step into the pentagram, the others clad in cloaks hum. A haunting harmony encapsulates us, trapping us in this delusive reality. My mind refusing to believe that any of this is happening, that I’m just stuck in a lucid nightmare.

Ash’s chest heaves, hyperventilation consuming her. I can see the sheer panic reflecting in her eyes as I inch closer.

I kneel.

“I can’t let him have you.” I tell her, needing her to understand.

“No, no, no.” She groans. “Please, Oliver! Please, don’t!”

I crawl forward, forcing her back to the ground.

Her cries grow louder as her body begins to thrash beneath me.

I press my weight onto her, my thighs straddling her hips.

Distrust paints her face, her hands relentlessly trying to fight me off of her.

The desperation for survival possesses her, making her a wild animal trapped and cornered.

Without breaking my gaze from hers, I call out behind me.

“I need help. Bordeaux, grab her hands.”

He chuckles in excitement, stalking around us towards her head. He reaches down, gripping the chains of the handcuffs and yanking them above her. Ash’s screams pierce a hole through my head and all I can think is this will all be over soon.

I lean down, my lips brushing against the shell of her ear to whisper an apology as if it will ever heal my wretched soul.

“I’m so sorry.”

My back erects as I stare into her tortured eyes.

With one swift flick of my wrist, the blade of the knife slides seamlessly through layers of skin, of tendon, of esophagus.

Blood gushes down like a waterfall, spurting and splashing, covering every inch of me and Ash. Suddenly, the night goes silent.

Bordeaux’s eyes flash with confusion before his body convulses viciously, meaty hands grasping at his wound, slipping as he tries to stop what’s already been done.

I only have seconds to react, climbing to my feet. Bordeaux wavers unsteadily, so it takes no effort to knock him back with a simple kick of my foot. He lands with a thud, his eyes wide with shock never closing.

“What the fuck did you just do!” Father screeches, rushing forward .

I block his path to Ash and Bordeaux’s lifeless body, the knife, now crimson and dripping, threatening his next move.

“What I should have done all those years ago.” I growl.

I’m feral.

I’m frantic.

I’m fucking delirious.

“Go on. Take that next step, see what happens.” I smirk. His face pinches in fury, his body visibly shaking with it. “I’m not as weak as you once remembered, but you are.”

I take a step closer, closing the distance between us.

“You’re going to regret this.” Father seethes.

I shake my head laughing, “I highly doubt that.”

As I lunge forward, knife ready, a sudden pain strikes the side of my head.

Immediately, my body is thrown sideways landing harshly against the cold, frozen ground.

It takes a second for my eyes to adjust, a blur of a tree branch coming down in forceful whacks.

Red surrounds me as the family protects their leader.

Someone’s foot stabs my rib, my body curling in on itself.

Another kick to my back, knocking my breath straight from my lungs.

I’m wheezing, struggling for air, but the oncoming attacks between kicks and thrashes of the branch make it useless.

I peel my eyes open just long enough to watch Father drag Ash, bloody and panicked, by her hair into the forest.

I’ve lost.

I gave it everything I had, and I lost. My body can’t keep up the fight.

Ash’s pleas ring in my ear, burrowing deep inside of me as my consciousness fades away.