Page 20

“Get up!” A deep voice barrels against the walls, vibrating in the base of my skull.

My head pounds, even after the six hours of sleep I got, which happens to be more than usual. Father always says sleep is for the lazy, but I find myself struggling day to day, forgetting the rules.

“It’s time for worship. Get up!” I feel the heavy-set man they call Bordeaux kick my mattress for the third time.

I groan, pushing up on my hands. “I’m coming.”

It’s been almost a year. Almost a full year with these deranged psychopaths that call themselves the family. Only, they’re not my family. They’re strangers at best and living nightmares at worst. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about calling them family, but I don’t have a choice.

After slipping into some clothes, I follow Bordeaux up the stairs and away from my concrete prison. It leads us up into the church where everyone else lives. What I’ve come to understand is that there are levels of achievement that grant you different tiers of luxury .

For example, completing your assigned chores is rewarded with meals. Attending worship gatherings grants you one on one time with Father . One on one time with Father gives you special privileges like living in a normal bedroom in the church.

I tend to avoid Father any chance I get, but I’m not always that lucky. For some reason, he finds it amusing the more I fight against the concept of the family’s beliefs, determined to turn me.

We walk past the bedrooms and the kitchen, passing by the family members getting ready for worship.

I try not to make eye contact with anyone, but they all stare at me like I’m the lost one.

The damaged one to take pity on. We step into the nave, finding a pew close to the front.

Bordeaux’s body odor makes me want to puke, but I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning.

“Ah, my children.” Father’s voice booms from the mic at the north of the nave.

He stands, his palms out facing up, and waits for everyone to take their seats. The last few rush in, sitting in the back before he continues.

“We gather here today in worship. I thank you as Lucifer himself thanks you for believing, for following with open minds.” He steps a few paces to the left and pauses. “As we have discussed time and time again, our beloved Lucifer was but a fallen angel. Shunned by his own kind and for what?

“For merely believing in himself, for indulging in his own power, for being grateful for his gift of beauty.

“And my children, what is wrong with that? What is so evil about acknowledging your own potential, your own worth?

“God wants perfectionism, but Satan? He wants realism. We’re proud, greedy, angry, envious, lustful, gluttonous, and lazy. WE ARE HUMAN!” His voice booms loudly as he taunts God, preaching the word of Satan in his own house.

“But... but, strip our human forms away and we are nothing but animals with natural instincts for survival. How can you fault us for that?” The room echoes with the sound of applause, of approval for Father’s lecture.

“The Corinthians 7:5 in the Bible preaches:

‘Do not deprive each other except perhaps

by mutual consent and for a time,

so that you may devote yourself to prayer.

Then come together again so that Satan will

not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.’

“Tell me how their God is not a hypocrite! How he smites Satan for being prideful, greedy, and gluttonous, while HE HIMSELF tells his followers to sacrifice their desires for him. How he wants you all to repress your natural instincts as animals, as humans, to steal your undivided devotion!

“So, I say the next time you want to spread your wrath, SPREAD IT! The next time you want to take the easy way out because it’s convenient, then DO IT! Next time you want to fuck -” he enunciates the k, dragging it out, the words echoing around the room, “THEN FUCK!”

Another burst of applause and whistles. Father smiles, his sharp face wrinkling with just the pride he speaks of. His eyes glistening as he looks at every person in the room before landing on me.

“I’ll end today with a little quote from the Satanic Bible.

‘There is nothing inherently sacred about moral codes. Like the wooden idols of long ago, they are the work of human hands, and what man has made, man can destroy.’ ” He closes the black bible, placing it on the alter in front of him.

“Now go forth my children and remember, you are only human.”